


good boys go bad

by marciee



Category: Pentagon (Korean Band)
Genre: Angst, Cliches Galore, High School AU, M/M, Mutual Pining, Peep Hyuna, Slow Burn, estimated final word count: 75k ish, featuring nct!!, i love slow burn + high school + mutual pining + angst, lab partners au, pairings will definitely change throughout, peep clc, updates every 4-7 days ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2018-10-12 03:36:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 70,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10481199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marciee/pseuds/marciee
Summary: lee hwitaek would definitely call himself a nerd. he loved chemistry class, practicing the piano, and has two friends. he's actually quite content with his quiet, black and white lifestyle. but the self-proclaimed delinquent kim hyojong doesn't want him to live peacefully, causing ripples in hwitaek's life like a strum of a guitar.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i swear the content is better than the summary lol
> 
> i believe that a love story isn't just about two people meeting and falling in love, but how someone's whole life changes when they meet that special someone (which is why this fic is so long and why theres so much irrelevant stuff lmao)
> 
> hmu on tumblr as @marciee and twitter as @nochilluniverse ~ im friendly lol just send me a message, i'll appreciate it!
> 
> s/o to my lovely irls, @youngjaehyuns (ily), daisy, lulu and tiff <3
> 
> don't forget to leave a comment/kudos/bookmark~ it'll make my day to see your support and feedback if u enjoyed it!

I opened my eyes. It was still dark. I pushed my soft covers aside and felt the cool air tickle my legs. It was chillier than I expected for October. I ran my fingers through my hair and grimaced. I haven’t washed my hair in a few days and it was a bit greasy. The house was mostly quiet, the sound of my brother’s soft snores faintly sounding from the other side of my bedroom door. The closet and bookshelves in my room stand tall, and the posters and pictures I’ve hung on my bedroom walls stare at me. The top of the piano gleams in the soft moonlight from the corner of my room. My eyes shifted to the digital clock on my bedside table. It was around 3 in the morning, according to the clock. I should’ve gone back to sleep, but I swung my legs off my bed on a whim and stood up. I stretched my arms and smoothed out my crumpled pajamas as I shuffled to the window. 

The dark blue curtains were drawn but a small sliver of moonlight peeked through the crack between the two curtain sides. I reach out with my right hand and pull the right curtain gently, trying to keep quiet. The moon hangs from the night sky, only half full tonight. I can spot a couple of stars flickering in the distance, and houses pepper the ground near my home. I admired the scenery, surprisingly brighter than I would’ve expected. I yawned and shut the curtains. There was school tomorrow, Monday. I walked back to my bed, rolled on and pelted on my plain gray duvet. I stared at the white ceiling for a moment and closed my eyes.

 

“Wake up, Hwitaek!” 

I could hear my younger brother whining in the distance, but I sighed and rolled over. I hear his footsteps move closer and now he’s shaking me. I groan and open my eyes. He looks amused, a small smirk on his face. He’s already changed and his dyed purple hair was neatly combed, which tells me that he’s ready for school. The curtains are tied up at their sides, probably because of Hyunggu and sunlight envelops my room. My digital clock says it’s around 7:15, which means I have around 15 minutes to get ready. I swing my legs to the floor and give him a pat on the shoulder as I slip on my slippers.  
”Mom tells you to pick up groceries on the way home,” Hyunggu mumbles as he shuffles into the living room, probably to eat his breakfast. I nod and yawn, making my way to the bathroom. I splash water on my face and glance in the mirror. 

My brown hair was uncombed and a bit greasy, and I spot faint black under my eyes. I shrug and brush my teeth while combing my hair with my other hand. It was just faster that way. I use the bathroom quickly as Hyunggu yells something about us being late again from the living room, and I stumble out of the bathroom. I walk briskly to my parents’ room, opening the door gently and walking in with care. The room is dark, but I can make out my mother’s figure in the sheets. I walk over and plant a kiss on her forehead, glancing at the other empty side of the bed. I leave her room and reenter my own bedroom. I shut the curtains once more and change quickly in my room, choosing a black shirt and throwing a black hoodie on top, with brown pants. I grab my bag and pause in the mirror, slicking down an unruly strand of hair before running out to grab my breakfast, a bagel. Hyunggu glances at me and smiles, wearing a white collared shirt, a black jacket, and black pants today. He’s got his backpack on and already cleared away his bowl of cereal in the kitchen. I wish I was as organized as my brother sometimes. I return the smile, slip on my shoes and Hyunggu opens the door. The cold air slips in from outside and we head out, closing the door. 

 

“How is school?” I ask my brother as he fiddles on his phone. We’re waiting at the bus stop, our school bus on the way to pick us up. He shrugs and smirks at his phone, texting someone. I roll my eyes internally. He’s texting someone, but I’m not nosy enough to ask. Besides, it’s most likely Wooseok, his friend. We’re only a year apart, my brother and I, him being 16 and me being 17. His grades are decent, so I let him get away with using his phone so often. Our school bus arrives, a long yellow vehicle with kids bustling about inside. It slows to a stop and we get inside the loud bus, the bus driver barely glancing at us. 

I make my way near the back, shoving past other noisy middle schoolers and slip into my usual seat. My brother moves past me and sits with one of his friends, Wooseok. I look at the empty seat next to me, where Jinho usually sits. He’s probably sick today, a bug has been plaguing our school. Our co-ed school is pretty big, housing middle school kids and high school kids. I put on my earphones and some music and stare out the window for the rest of the bus ride. 

It was quieter than usual without Jinho around, but I didn’t have that many friends, to begin with. I only had Jinho, who I’ve known for years growing up in the same neighborhood, and Hongseok, Jinho’s book lover friend who I’ve gotten to know. I guess that gave me a reputation of being a “nerd”, not having many friends and also being a piano freak. I liked playing the piano while growing up, although Hyunggu didn’t take to it as well. I mostly study or play the piano in my spare time, which is making me see why people call me a nerd. To be fair, Jinho is a music nerd too, and Hongseok studies languages in his spare time. I sigh. Even though I’m not going to be one of those “chick magnets” or anything, I’m content with having Jinho and Hongseok around. 

Before I knew it, the bus grinds to a halt. I get up from my seat and shuffle off the bus, walking into the high school building. My bus was quite early, and there were around 20 minutes before school started, which I usually spent with Jinho and Hongseok. I take off my earphones and put them in my pocket as I walk into the semi-populated hallways. I go upstairs and walk down the second floor, searching for my locker. I walk past a couple of girls standing by, a few guys playing mobile games and get to my locker. I open the lock carefully, hoping nothing falls out this time and Hongseok saunters by. He gives me a smile and I return it as I take out my chemistry textbook from the top shelf full of textbooks. The bottom shelf contained a change of clothes, sports clothes, some socks and other assorted items, almost close to falling out.

“Jinho’s sick today,” I mention as I unzip my bag and put my textbooks in. Hongseok nods as he leans on a locker next to mine. 

“He told me.” I nodded. Of course. 

“I’m gonna head to the bathroom real quick,” Hongseok mumbles and walks off. I dip my head, beginning to walk to the library where I usually hang out with Hongseok and Jinho. I pause for a moment to take my phone out to check the time, when someone walks next to me and mumbles, “S’cuse me.” 

I turn off my phone sheepishly and step aside immediately, stammering an apology and walking away quickly before the person could recognize me. I hear some girls giggling while I walk up another floor and I feel my cheeks flush. I abandon the thought of going to the library and walk to my next class, chemistry. I spend a lot of time studying and I find chemistry fascinating, although I admit it’s a bit difficult. Jinho was usually in this class, but he wasn’t here today. 

 

The teacher was kind of strict, but I liked her. Some girls have come to class early and I glanced at them briefly. They gave me a glance and went back to gossiping. Safe to say, I wasn’t exactly popular with the girls. Add my reputation of being weird and my social awkwardness, and you have the perfect girl repellent. I sigh to myself and take my phone out, sending a brief text to Jinho, telling him to get well soon. The teacher arrives early and lets us all in. I walk to my seat in the first row near the door, a table I usually shared with Jinho. More people file in a minute or two before class starts and the seats fill up as the teacher starts writing on the whiteboard. 

The bell rings and everyone quiets down as the teacher stops writing and turns to do attendance.   
“Jo Jinho?”  
“Absent, he’s sick,” I inform the teacher and she glances in my direction. She makes a note of that just as the door clicks open. All eyes turn to the door, where a tall brunette boy with a mid part I vaguely recognize walks in. 

“Sorry, I’m late.” The boy mumbles and the teacher clicks her tongue. I turn my attention back to the chemistry textbook laid open on my table. The teacher finishes taking attendance, marking the boy as late and starts the lesson. 

 

“You will be working on a group project where you do an experiment with a partner and write a lab report. You will design your own experiment and it can be anything, as long as it’s related to chemistry and doesn’t involve breaking any rules.” The teacher explains and the class groans. Nobody liked writing a lab report, not even me. The teacher rolls her eyes.

“You can pick your partner for this project.” The class rejoices and I spot the teacher’s mouth curl up for a moment. I look at the empty stool next to me and raised my hand. The teacher looks at me and glances at the chair next to me, connecting the dots. She nods at me and I lower my hand, assuming she’s going to let me pair up with Jinho when he gets back. 

The teacher starts writing down something when she turns back to the class and scans the room before setting her eyes at the back. She stops, glances back down and scribbles out what she wrote. She looks back at the back and her eyes darken.  
“Bring your phone over here Hyojong, I can see you. Actually, since you’re always on your phone or late, I’m going to switch you up here to the front, next to Hwitaek. You two can partner up for the project, Jinho can partner up with Seunghee.” I look up with alarm. What? I whip my head to look at the back. The boy who was late stands up and slings his bag over his shoulder. Seunghee, the girl who sits next to him, pouts at nobody in particular. He strides up to the teacher’s desk and hands her his phone, mumbling an apology. 

Kim Hyojong. I wasn’t close to him, but I knew he lives near my neighborhood and we’ve both been at this high school since freshmen. He has a reputation for being kind of emo or weird, even though he is friends with Ko Shinwon and Yeo Changgu. A short glance at the girls shows he isn’t as popular with the girls either, other than maybe Seunghee. Hyojong strolls over to my table and sits himself down a seat away from me. I only feel a little bit offended. He has naturally brown hair in a mid part, a white hoodie and casual black pants. He doesn’t acknowledge me, so I look back at the teacher, who continued talking about the project. I wouldn’t say I was a goth or an emo, and I don’t mingle with those kinds of people. His face does not show any emotion, and he naturally looks intimidating, which doesn’t help. This project may be harder than I thought. 

 

The bell sounds from the hallway, ringing throughout the room. The sounds of paper shuffling can be heard, everyone eager to leave the room. I tidy away my papers and file them away in my bag, and glance at Hyojong. He is staring into space, which is what he has been doing the whole lesson. I open my mouth, ready to say something when the teacher speaks.

“Don’t forget the project is due next month! Hyojong and Hwitaek, come over here.” Everyone else squeezes out the door, while I look back at the teacher, who was waiting expectantly. Maybe she’s going to switch my partner back to Jinho. I grab my bag quickly and practically run over to the teacher’s desk. I peeked back at Hyojong, who was taking his sweet time. The bell has stopped ringing already. He grabs his bag slowly and saunters over, and I can see that he was taller than me by a little bit. 

“Now I know that this arrangement is a bit sudden, but I think this is the best. Hwitaek, inform Jinho about the assignment and Hyojong, you’re going to sit at that table from now on. Start planning your project, I want to see some planning by Wednesday.” I nod as the teacher speaks, and she glances at Hyojong, who was staring into space, not even pretending to pay attention. She sighs and hands him his phone back. 

“That’s all. Head to class now, tell your teachers I kept you.” I flash her a smile and nod, while Hyojong grunts and leaves the classroom. Looks like I'm stuck with Hyojong for this. I wave goodbye to the teacher and catch up to Hyojong, my bag swinging on my shoulder. He doesn’t seem to notice me, or if he does, he doesn’t care. He’s walking down the empty hallway leisurely, staring at his phone, not seeming to care if he’s late to class. However, I care an awful lot, so I walk up next to him and tap him on his shoulder. 

Hyojong glances up and rolls his eyes. I’m starting to notice that he comes off quite rude, maybe on purpose. 

“What do you want?” He looks back at his phone and asks. I notice that he is quite disrespectful. I sigh internally. This isn’t even the direction of my next class. 

“When should we meet to plan the project?” He shrugs and continues scrolling on his phone. Today or tomorrow would be optimal. 

“How about today after school?” I ask, getting a shrug in return. 

“Can you give me a straight answer? I find it kinda rude when you just stare at your phone.” Hyojong finally looks up at me and stops walking. I stop as well and he sneers at me. I feel my heart beating a bit faster, maybe because he looks so intimidating. Sunlight from a nearby window shines in, reflecting on his hair and I can feel his brown eyes piercing into me. 

“You're a total teacher’s pet. Why don't you just do the whole project by yourself?” Hyojong asks teasingly and starts walking off again. I stare at the back of his figure casually walking away. I contemplate going after him.

“I’m not a teacher’s pet!” He stops for a moment and without turning around, he says, “Sure you aren't. Library after school.”

Hyojong continues walking and I am left staring at his back. His footsteps echo down the hallway, as he walks to the staircase and disappears. I turn and walk briskly to my next class, 5 minutes late. 

 

The bell rings once more, and I sigh as I stick my folders and stationery back into my bag. English class was boring as usual, although I make an effort in class. I hear the chatter of the other girls as I walk out of the classroom and into the bustling hallway. I glance at the clock in the crowded hallway as I try to shove past the sea of people. It was 1 o’clock, and everyone was racing to the lunchroom. I followed the sea of people downstairs, the sound of chatting and laughter filling the school. 

I manage to squeeze into the lunchroom and stood in line to buy my lunch. I usually don't bring lunch, because Hyunggu takes the leftovers from dinner and I prefer buying lunch anyway. The line was long, and I spot people cutting the line in front of me, which wasn't exactly a surprise. I scan the cafeteria and Hongseok walk in from the other cafeteria door. He goes to our usual table and sits down, beginning to eat. He and Jinho usually bring their lunches to our table, which is right in the middle of the cafeteria. The school sells hot meals and pastries, and I usually buy pastries because they aren’t that bad. 

I check my phone to see that Jinho has replied with a smiley face and a thank you. When I look up again, I'm at the front of the line. I order a sandwich and pay for it, glancing back at Hongseok for a moment. He will probably scold me for not getting a proper meal, but I wasn't hungry today. A sandwich in hand, I weave through the crowds and sit myself down at the table with a small sigh. Hongseok looks up at me with a bite of rice in his mouth. 

“Hey, what’s up?” He asks as he chews, concern in his eyes. I unwrap my sandwich and take a bite before beginning. 

“My chem teacher partnered me up with Kim Hyojong for a project because Jinho isn't here.” I say between bites, tearing at the sandwich. Something flickers in Hongseok’s eyes, but he doesn't say anything. I wolf down the sandwich, maybe I was hungrier than I thought, or maybe the chemistry project was getting to me. Hongseok looks at the sandwich and tuts. He glances over to another side of the cafeteria, near the windows. I follow his gaze even though I already know what he's looking at. 

At the very back table next to the windows sat Yeo Changgu and his friends. Notably, Ko Shinwon, Elkie Chong and Kim Hyojong. Today, Changgu walked in with a person I've never seen before. A tall Chinese boy, taller than Changgu, glances around the room with unease. The chatter in the cafeteria quiets down noticeably, as I assume everyone stares at them. Changgu grabs the other boy’s arm and drags him to his table with a smile. Hongseok and I look at his table, where Elkie was sitting next to and chatting with Shinwon. They look up and smile at the new boy. Hyojong was sitting opposite to them and texting on his phone. Changgu and the new boy squeeze in on Hyojong’s side, Hyojong looking up and giving them a brief nod before going back to his phone. He doesn’t eat lunch. Hongseok and I turn back to each other, continuing to eat our meal.

Yeo Changgu is quite popular in our school, having received many (eventually declined) confessions and a reputation for being chatty. Elkie Chong and Ko Shinwon started dating a month or two ago, and Hyojong was friends with Changgu before high school. I’m not friends with any of them nor am I one of those people who love to gossip.

“Hey Hwitaek, do you wanna hear about what happened in class today? It was really funny.” Hongseok asks, and I can see the begging in his eyes. He usually talked to Jinho about this kind of mundane thing but he probably didn’t want to bother Jinho while he was sick. I nod and smile politely, finishing up my sandwich as Hongseok starts to recount what happened in Math class.

 

The bell rings for the last time today and I let out a short sigh. I’ve sighed a lot today, but I suppose it was reasonable. The hallways are filled with noisy people again, everyone rushing to get home or to their after school activities. I hurry to my locker from my math classroom and put down some textbooks that I didn’t need. People around my locker were clinking their lockers open and shut and chatting with their friends. I peer around, trying to see if Hyojong was around, even though I didn’t know for sure if his locker was here. I gave up after a few people gave me strange looks and started heading downstairs to the library. People have already started filing out of the school, so the hallways are now half empty and made it much easier to walk around. 

I walk briskly down the hallway leading to the library and creep quietly down the carpeted floors of the library. The library at school is relatively big, and there were tables surrounding the windows where students can study in peace. There are beanbags and stools in between some of the shelves where people can read as well, but I choose to head to a 4 person table near the window with the shades on and sit myself down. I put down my backpack on the chair next to me and take out my notebook and chemistry textbook. I survey the library once more in search of Hyojong, but he is nowhere to be seen. 

My phone buzzed in my pocket, so I take it out to see a text from mom asking me to pick up the groceries. I texted her and Hyunggu, telling them I’m staying after school to study. I scroll down my contacts list to try and find Hyojong. Maybe I saved his contacts a long time ago and simply forgot about it. Typing his name in the search bar didn’t yield any results, so I turned off my phone and looked back at my textbook. Hyojong should be here by now. I look up to the entrance once more, and sigh. He’s probably flaking on me. I take my Math homework out and started to work on it. I might as well do something if Hyojong wasn’t going to show up. He is starting to leave a bad impression on me, being late, rude and flaky.

 

I didn’t take the bus after school. My school was near downtown, where everything was. I put on my earphones and some music as I walk out of the school gates. It is around 5, and already getting kind of dark. The sun is starting to fade and the sky has turned a fading orange and pink. I walked a few streets down to one of the grocery shops my family frequents, not exactly in the heart of the city and near my neighborhood. I reach the white building and step in, the automatic door sliding open for me and the bell rings through the store. 

I walk in, grabbing a grey basket from the door and heading to the vegetable aisle. I grab a couple of vegetables, picking out some of the fresher ones. There wasn’t a lot of people around, maybe because it was a Monday evening. I turn around, casually scanning the aisles as I walk. I stroll past the vegetables and fruits, and into the aisles of snacks. I walk into the chips aisle, planning to grab a snack or two for Hyunggu when I look up from a stack of chips to see a somewhat familiar brown mop of hair on the other side of the aisle. I squint and cock my head a bit to try and place who it was when the head looks up at me, and brown eyes are once again piercing into mine.

“Hyojong?” I ask a frown surfacing. His eyes widen and he starts to bolt. I walk down the aisle swiftly, but when I got to the end, he already vanished. I roll my eyes and quickly pick up a bag of chips before heading to the checkout. The cashier swipes my items as I scan the area for Hyojong without success. I pay for the groceries with some money mom gave me yesterday. I exit the store, groceries in both hands and my bag on my back. I look at up at the sky to see it is becoming a dark purple, the sun barely visible. I can feel the cool air brush against my face. I start making my way back home, my neighborhood a couple of streets down.

 

I manage to stumble into the house, a tall figure opening the door. I’m not that surprised that Wooseok’s here, he comes by quite often to hang out with Hyunggu. Mom is going to be home in half an hour or so, and I take off my shoes as Wooseok closes the door, shutting off the cold air. I step into my slippers and smiled at Wooseok, who politely returned one. The TV was on, playing some soccer match, and I spot Wooseok’s bag leaning against the coffee table. 

“Do you need help with that, hyung? Hyunggu is in the shower.” I nod and hand one of the bags to him, as we both head into the kitchen. The kitchen has a black tiled floor, white tiled walls, and various other kitchen appliances. He opens the fridge and puts away some of the vegetables, while I take out the snacks. I put down my bag on the kitchen floor and help unload the rest of the groceries. 

“How is school, Wooseok?” Wooseok gives me a sheepish smile and looks at me with his big eyes. I smile and roll my eyes. I shut the fridge and walked down the hallway, taking my bag back into my room. I can hear the sound of the shower running next to my room, and the sound of the TV playing outside. I close my bedroom door and sit at the piano, lifting the cover to reveal the black and white keys. I reach to the bookshelf next to the piano and take out a well-worn piano book. I skim through it first before finding a song I haven’t played in a while and practicing it on the piano. I love how the piano sounds, the melody ringing through the house. I start humming the tune, and without noticing, I start singing. I end the song and rest my fingers on the keys. I hear the sound of the keys clicking on the door, and I know that my parents are home. 

 

I get up from the piano, closing the cover gently and going back into the living room. My mother and Wooseok are making small talk, while my father lumbers past me into my parents’ bedroom, probably to pass out until dinner. I hear the shower go off and Hyunggu walking out of the bathroom, dressed in casual clothes. He shuffles into the living room, hair still dripping a bit, to give my mother a peck on the cheek. Hyunggu glances at Wooseok and immediately retreats back into his room. It might have been my imagination, but I could’ve seen a splash of pink dusting his cheeks. I turn my attention back to my mother. 

“Hey mom, how was work?” I ask as Wooseok sits back on the couch and I head to the kitchen with my mom. She stretches her arms and smiles wearily.

“It was okay, just the usual. Did you get the groceries?” I nod as she starts preparing to cook. I wander back into the living room for a moment as Hyunggu comes in. 

“Wooseok, are you staying for dinner?” I ask kindly as Wooseok turns to me. Hyunggu sits down next to him, focusing on the TV.

“Ah, no, hyung. I should get going soon.” Wooseok says and reaches out to grab his bag when Hyunggu stops him by gripping his arm. Wooseok glances at him and I can see Hyunggu whisper something into his ear. Wooseok whispers something back and my brother lets go of his arm. Wooseok gets up, swinging his bag over his back and peeking into the kitchen to let my mother know. 

My mother protests, saying that it’s late, but eventually lets him leave. I wave goodbye to him as he slips on his shoes. Hyunggu sees him out the door, and the door shuts once more, some of the cold air having seeped in. I look at Hyunggu and he heads into the kitchen to help my mother cook. 

 

I take a towel and some clothes and slip into the bathroom. I peel off my clothes and step into the shower, turning on the water as my mind wanders. Today was pretty eventful. I met Kim Hyojong, the rudest person I currently know. He wasn’t only late to class, disrespectful to my favorite teacher, he also teased me and ditched me, twice. I scrub my skin a bit harder than usual. He’s kind of getting on my nerves, not taking our work seriously. I wash my hair quickly and get out of the water, drying myself off and changing into my pajamas. I comb through my hair with a brush and exit the bathroom, walking into the kitchen. 

My mother and brother are chatting idly about school, and I help set the table in the dining area. I look back at my mother. She has long brown hair, stick straight, and she’s shorter than me. My mother often has tired eyes, rough hands but her smile never fades around my brother and me. She works full time, does most of the chores and cooks for us every day. My mother is really wonderful. I scurry back into the kitchen to help scoop out bowls of rice and soup, as my mother finishes cooking the vegetables and my brother sets out the other dishes. My brother goes to wake up my dad as I set down the rice and soup. 

“How was school today, Hwitaek? You had to study after school right?” My mother asks, over the sound of the vegetables frizzing. 

“It was okay. I’m doing a chem project right now, but my partner isn’t exactly helpful.” I groan and walk back into the kitchen. Hyunggu and my father walk out from the hallway, my father yawning and looking glum. He towers above my mother, having curly black hair and brown-rimmed glasses. I take the vegetables and set them on the table as my mother turns off the stove and puts away the pots and pans. 

 

We all sit at the table and start to eat. I can feel the atmosphere grow a bit colder around the table. My brother and I were never that close to my father. The room is quiet, the TV off and the only sounds I can hear are everyone eating and the clink of chopsticks against bowls. 

“How was school?” My father asks, glancing at both my brother and I. Hyunggu shrugs. I reply with, “Nothing special, just a chemistry test coming soon.” The room quiets again, and my father pauses to turn on the TV to the news. Even though I don’t think the news is interesting, the news anchor’s voice fills the air with something other than silence. I finish eating and bring my bowl to the kitchen. Hyunggu does the same, and I head back to my room to do English homework. An hour later, I crawl into my sheets, switching off the lights and head to sleep. The sound of the TV fizzes through the air, bringing me to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

“So, what did I miss?” Jinho says, and coughs once. He’s back at school after one sick day. I shake my head.

“You should stay at home, you’re still sick.” He shakes his head. Stubborn.

“And miss more class? No way.” I roll my eyes and laugh. He smiles back at me.

“I’ll tell you and Hongseok more about it at lunch. It’s gonna be annoying to explain twice.”   
Jinho shrugs and starts talking about his new video game for the rest of the trip. 

 

I navigate through the hallways once more, heading to my first period, music. I like music, playing the piano and singing. I walk down to the basement of the building and reach a discreet door down an isolated hallway. This is the older music room, a bit stuffy but I like it. A couple of people are here already, lugging along their instruments. My teacher is pretty nice, and class usually isn’t boring. He arrives just then, unlocking the door and flicking on the lights. 

The room is bigger than it seems, with two pianos and drums at the back and a tall shelf of other instruments. A bunch of chairs is laid out in the middle of the room, facing the whiteboard, the piano at the front and the teacher’s desk. Musical posters are hung around the room, adding a splash of color to the brown walls. I sit myself down near the back, near one of the pianos. Everyone else grabs a seat and starts assembling their instruments and chatting. The teacher begins to speak when there is a knock on the door and the door creaks open. Everyone stops tuning and looks at the doorway. I sigh when I see the tall figure at the door. 

Hyojong shuffles in, holding a piece of paper in one hand and a hard guitar case in the other. I blink twice. He was still there. He seems expressionless as always as he heads to the teacher and hands him the slip. 

“Oh yes, Hyojong. I almost forgot. Class, this is Kim Hyojong if you didn’t know already, he’s transferring into this course for the rest of the year.” The teacher smiles and Hyojong manages a grunt before slipping into the strings section. I hear some girls whispering and giggling near me. I don’t think he noticed I was in this class. I thought he would take drama or art, more typical for “popular people” like him, but he’s here, taking out his guitar as if it was the most normal thing on the planet. For the rest of the lesson, I try to focus on the black and white keys, but my gaze drifts to the strings section more than once.

 

As everyone squishes at the doorway after class, I hurry over to Hyojong as he calmly puts away his guitar. He looks up when he sees me approaching and sighs. I should be the one sighing! 

“You again.” Hyojong looks back at his case and starts zipping it. 

“Yes, me again. You flaked on me yesterday.” I try to sound as casual as possible, but he can probably tell I’m nervous. 

“So?” He slings the guitar case over his shoulder and glares at me.

“We need to do this project, whether you like it or not.” I stand firm, returning his glare. He looks sideways for a moment and turns back to me with a smirk.

“Okay, I’ll meet you after school at the library for real if you admit you’re a teacher’s pet.” He says with a mischievous smirk. I drop my shoulders and groan. There’s no other way to get him to cooperate.

“I’m a teacher’s pet.” He looks extremely satisfied as I mumble. I feel my face heating up. The teacher glares at us, as if about to say something about us heading to class. Hyojong looks over at him and starts leaving the now empty classroom. I follow him out. The hallway was empty now, it was a minute or two after the bell rang. I head up the right stairs without another word, too embarrassed to say anything.

“Well, that wasn’t as big of a doozy as I thought,” Jinho says in between bites of his lunch. Hongseok nods. I widen my eyes at them. This is huge! Kim Hyojong made a fool of me more than once these two days alone.

“He’s rude. So rude!” I exclaim, but not too loudly. I glance around to see if anyone at our table noticed. Luckily, everyone seems to be talking amongst themselves, too busy to care about three nerdy guys. Hongseok gives me a sympathetic smile. Jinho rolls his eyes.

“What else did you expect from a guy like him?” Jinho whispers as Hyojong walks into the cafeteria lazily from the other side. I glance at him, his tall figure dressed in a dark hoodie and black jeans today. He takes his usual seat with Yeo Changgu and the new boy. His name is Yanan, as I’ve learned in math class when he sat next to me. He was pretty shy then, not exactly what you’d expect from someone Yeo Changgu hangs out with.

“Okay, maybe not much. What do you mean a guy like him?” I asked, taking a bite of my egg salad sandwich in between. Hongseok inhales deeply.

“There’s something different about him. I think something’s changed in him recently.” Hongseok replies, and I cock my head to the side. Jinho glances over at their table before leaning in. 

“I’ve heard of him being involved in some shady stuff. I’m not exactly sure what, or if that’s true, but if people are saying it, there might be some truth to it.” Jinho leans back once more, finishing his lunch. My eyes wander over to Hyojong’s table. He was sitting there, but not on his phone today. He’s chatting to Changgu and Yanan. Changgu laughs and I can feel something stirring in me. I look back at Jinho and Hongseok.

“I guess I’ll try to keep my distance.” Jinho and Hongseok nod at the same time. I chuckle. Jinho and Hongseok are really in sync, more than I’ll ever be with them. If I didn’t know better, I would even say they’re dating. I finish my sandwich and Jinho starts talking about what happened in his class today.

 

The last bell rings, and everyone rushes out of their seat. The teacher tries to say something I can’t hear, and I scurry out the door. For some reason, I’m excited to go head to the library, as nerdy as that sounds. I push my way through the crowded hallways and head upstairs to the library. There are only a few people here today. I head to the 4 person table I was at last time, and place my stuff down on the chair next to me. I take my phone out and text Hyunggu and mom quickly about me staying after school. 

The chair in front of me thuds, and when I look up, Hyojong is sitting in front of me. He’s holding his phone as usual but when I turn to take out my chemistry textbook and my notebook, he switched his phone off. Instead of calling me a teacher’s pet, maybe he’ll actually work.

“So, teacher’s pet, what should we do for our project?” He looks at me with that annoying smirk again. I hold in my thoughts and smile politely.

“I thought we could look at some projects from the textbook, which is why I brought it with me.” I open up the textbook, flipping through to get to an experiments section. Hyojong cranes his head to look, and I turn the book around for him.

“I thought you would already have planned everything out and I would just have to agree. Teacher’s pet.” Hyojong flips through the textbook, scanning each page. My left eye twitches.

“No, this is a group project, in case you forgot. And stop calling me that.” I open up my notebook as Hyojong reads the textbook. I click my pen, writing down some ideas I thought were interesting. The milk and food coloring, the classic volcano, testing conductivity. I personally thought those were interesting. When I look up from my notebook, Hyojong is half asleep. His eyes were closed and he was leaning back in the chair, mouth half open. 

“Wake up!” I hiss as I nudge his foot with my own. His eyelids flutter open.

“Huh?” He looks a bit dazed. Does he not get enough sleep or something? He’s always sleepy when I see him.

“Geez, if you’re not going to take this project seriously...” I mumble, scribbling some notes down. Hyojong sits back up, glancing side to side. 

“Okay fine. Why don’t we just do like a… An investigation into... reactions in heat packs or whatever? I saw it at last year’s science fair.” I look up and think for a moment. 

“Mmm...” It would work, I suppose. We can change the variables by working with multiple types of heat packs, and there was quite a lot to write about the exothermic reaction. I scribble down Hyojong’s idea, and he shuts the textbook. I look up to see his smirk once again. He starts playing with his phone, but I let him because I have to research that now. I take back the textbook and flip to the chemicals reactions section. I write down some notes, reading each page diligently. We sat there quietly, him on his phone and me writing my notes. He glances up at me occasionally, but I try not to look at him and work. 

After a few minutes of my pen scratching at the paper, Hyojong sighs loudly. I paused my writing and looked up.

“What is it?” I ask, annoyed. Hyojong whines like a child. 

“If you don’t need me, can I just go? I can be doing other stuff right now.” I shake my head.

“Well if you’re so bored, you can help.” I pick up my pen and start writing again.

“Ugh, no thanks.” He sprawls on the table, eyes glued back to his phone. I leave him alone because I probably can’t convince him to do work anyway.

We sat for another 15 minutes before I hear a sudden thud. I look up to see Hyojong stood up, grabbing his bag.

“Where are you going?” I manage to ask, but he just continues slinging his bag over his shoulder. He could have given me a warning.

“I have some… business I gotta take care of, like right now.” I roll my eyes internally. What a lame excuse. I look at Hyojong, whose lips are clamped shut together and face paler than usual. Maybe it was important.

“Okay. Bye.” I offer an awkward goodbye and he gives me a curt nod before leaving. I was almost done with my notes on exothermic reactions, I just had to research a bit more about hot packs first. I pause my writing for a moment, wondering where Hyojong went. It sounded urgent for him to leave suddenly like that. I shrug. It’s probably none of my business, so I go back to writing. 

 

“Wow, you guys actually made progress!” Ms. Hyuna flips through my tidy notes, looking impressed. I feel proudness swell up in my chest. My studying habits paid off once again. Hyojong leans back in his chair, looking mildly disinterested, but I spy his gaze on my notes more than once. Ms. Hyuna scribbles something in her grade book and walks away, giving us a nod. I turn to Hyojong. He is wearing a baggy gray t-shirt and black jeans today, a maroon jacket tied at his waist. He looks back at me, blank expression on his face.

“So um, should we continue planning our experiment?” I open up my pencil case and take out my regular black pen, opening a fresh page. He thinks for a moment and says, “Let’s write down the variables and stuff.” 

I start scratching down words on my piece of paper, outlining the variables of our experiments in a neat table. I pause and glance over to the other side of the lab, where Jinho now sat, next to Seunghee. I remember how displeased she looked when Ms. Hyuna moved Hyojong, and she looks discontent right now as she listens to Jinho talk about something. Jinho notices me staring at him and gives a small wave, accompanied with a smile. I smile and wiggle my fingers back before turning back to writing. Hyojong is looking at me, squinting. I try to write, but he continues staring at me, which is distracting me.

“What?” I frown at him, and he smirks a bit, the corner of his mouth quirking up.

“Nothing, you probably want to just work with Jinho instead of a delinquent slob,” Hyojong says, and leans back. My eyes shift back over to Jinho, but he’s bent over writing something now. I look back at Hyojong, who closed his eyes.

“Just get back to work.” He says, and yawns. I furrow my brows.

“If you’d bother to work, you’re not that bad to work with, you know. You did come up with the experiment.” I start writing again, jotting down some materials we might need. I can feel Hyojong’s brown gaze burning a hole in my head. I have no idea why I said that actually, the words seem to come out on their own. My face heats a bit under his stare, and as I was about to say something, Ms. Hyuna speaks up, having patrolled around the classroom.

“Okay guys, just work for 15 minutes until the end of class, I want you guys to start the experiment by next Monday.” She shuffles the papers on her desk and starts doing her own work, which prompts me to return to my notes. Hyojong leaps from his spot and strides to the Ms. Hyuna, stammering something. I watch as he flounces out of the room, then I get back to work. Jinho was right about him being weird.

Hyojong returns, face hard to read as usual. He takes the seat next to me instead of the one further away. Strange, but I don’t think much of it. I click my pen, about to write down another part when he speaks up. 

“Why don’t I do the method?” I blink twice. Hyojong is staring at my notes, not making eye contact with me. I hand him my pen, still in disbelief. He starts printing out steps to the experiment, his handwriting a bit messy but still legible. I watch as he crosses out a bit he spelled wrong and I hand him my correction tape without a word. He mumbles a thank you under his breath and continues writing. I didn’t expect Hyojong to actually do work. In previous group projects, I’ve always been the one holding the team together and doing the lion’s share of work. Hyojong is the last person I would expect to pull it together.

“It’s a bit disconcerting to have you stare at me with your mouth open while I work,” Hyojong says without looking up. I stutter an apology and scramble to grab another piece of paper and another pen and start writing down more materials we need for the experiment. 

“Do you want to bring in the hot packs? I don’t have any at home, and it’s the only thing we need for the experiment that the school won’t provide.” I ask, looking up from my paper.

“Sure,” Hyojong replies with a word, without looking up from his paper. We work in silence for the next couple of minutes, but I don’t mind because we’re being productive and the sound of the other people talking fills the silence between us. I glance up at Jinho for a moment. Jinho said Hyojong was like a delinquent, and sure, Hyojong did seem like one at first. 

Now, I’m not quite sure. He seems to care at least a little bit about school if he shows up and does some work. There are some people who’ve enrolled here but haven’t shown up for school even up til now, mid-October. I still don’t know him that well, Hyojong could be a dealer outside of school for all I knew. I sigh and turn back to my work. Hyojong looks at me briefly before continuing to write. The bell rings before I can finish, and I pack up my things. Hyojong hands me the paper without a word and I stack all the papers we used into a neat pile before placing it in my bag gently. I put on my backpack and turn to Hyojong, about to say something, when I feel something touching my back. I whip around to see Jinho smiling at me and jerking his head to the door. 

“Finally! Seunghee is a sweet girl but I seriously cannot stand her blank stare anymore.” Jinho drags me into the cramped hallways, and when I turn to search for Hyojong, he has already disappeared, into the mob of people and sound of conversation.

“How is the project going?” Hongseok asks, in the middle of his next bite of beef. It was more directed at Jinho, but I answer anyway as Jinho was stuffing his face with spaghetti. 

“Hyojong did some work today,” I respond and take another bite of my bacon sandwich. Hongseok and Jinho stare at me, eyes wide.

“Hyojong?”

“Work?”

I nod, as surprised as them. They look at each other and back at me. They start giggling and I join in. As our laughter die down, I spy Hyojong at the popular kids’ table. He’s eating a muffin today, a blueberry one. I watch as he uses a spoon to scoop the inside of the muffin in between conversation with Changgu’s friends. Okay, he was pretty weird.   
I have math tomorrow with the new kid, Yanan, maybe I’ll talk to him more then. He seems like a pretty nice guy although a bit shy. 

“Well for me, I was partnered up with Seunghee because I was sick. She’s okay like she’s nice enough but she’s not very… clever. It’s just annoying to have to explain every single thing to her.” Jinho says as he continues sucking up spaghetti. Hongseok nods as he finishes his lunch, and I watch the popular people halfheartedly as I eat my sandwich. Hyojong always sits facing away from me, so I don’t have to worry about him seeing me see him. The sunlight peeks through the windows, giving all of the people at their table a little glow. I watch as Elkie giggle and nudge Shinwon, who looks at her with a small smile before turning to face Changgu across him and saying something. Hyojong and Yanan observe them from either side of Changgu, who starts to laugh. He wraps his arms around both Hyojong and Yanan’s shoulders, and I look away, a feeling I can’t place stirring in my chest.

 

I wake up on Thursday morning groggy and tired. I had stayed up working on English homework. I get ready quickly, rushing Hyunggu out the door. Hyunggu doesn’t take out his phone once in the morning, which might be a cause for concern. I watch him stare at the ground, cheeks rosy from the cold but eyes blank.

“Hey, you okay?” I ask, placing a hand gently on his shoulder, offering a smile. He looks startled at first, but nods and smiles. I can’t help but feel the sad tone under his smile. He looks to the side, and I swear I saw his eyes water. I don’t bug him any further and drop my arm as the bus arrives, doors opening with a screech. I watch him get on before I go on myself, seeing him smile as he slides into the seat next to Wooseok, who returns his bright smile. I sit in my usual seat with a sleeping Jinho, who gives me an excuse to stare out the window for the whole ride.

 

The day passes by uneventfully, and I decide to go practice the piano at school on a whim. There isn’t really a need to, because I’m lucky enough to have one at home, but I want to try out some of the harder song books that the school has. My music teacher gladly lends me the keys to one of the music practice rooms with a piano after school, and I head there now, slinking down the stairs. I click the key into the door, slipping into the small yellow practice room, cozy with soundproof walls. 

There was a piano next to the door, a set of drums, amps and a couple of chairs, everything you would need for a small band practice. I sit myself down at the piano, opening the sleek black cover and running my fingers down the keys for a moment, admiring the pianoforte. I open up a song book that the music teacher lent me, set it down on the stand and flip through it until I find a nice song. I press the top of the keys as I read, practicing the song once without touching the keys. I play once for real, letting the melody ring in my ears and throughout the room. I play again, and again until I familiarize myself with the song. 

I glance throughout the music room, spotting a shelf of song books. I pick a singing book, and inside I find the song I’ve been playing. I whisper the lyrics to myself once, before clearing my throat and setting the lyrics on the stand. I sit back at the piano, setting my fingers in place for the first few notes. 

I start to play, the sweet melody bouncing throughout the room. I start to sing, my voice clear throughout the room. I listen to my voice and the voice of the piano blend together to recreate the song from the songbook. I end the song softly, the last piano note floating in the air. 

I hear slow clapping from behind me. I whip around, my eyes wide, to find Kim Hyojong.

 

“I didn’t know you could sing.” I feel Hyojong’s voice coming nearer. My impossibly hot burning face was hidden in my hands and I’m curled up on the piano seat. That was probably the most embarrassing moment in my life. I peek through my fingers to find Hyojong reading the songbook. What is he doing here? Could he have come at a worse time?

“Um, yeah. What’re you doing here?” I manage to stammer, and he turns to look directly at me. His brown eyes aren’t puncturing me, but instead focusing on me. 

“I’m here to grab a songbook. The teacher told me to grab one and not to disturb you, but I guess that’s too late. You left the key in the lock by the way.” Hyojong’s hand reaches out from his pocket and drops the music room key on my palm. I stare at him blankly. I’m being surprised by him more and more each day. I didn’t take him for the musical type, but I guess that just goes to prove that you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. 

He glides to the shelf next to the wall, reaching up to grab a guitar songbook from one of the top shelves. Hyojong walks back to the door, grabbing the guitar case lying next to the door. He pauses before he turns the knob, swiveling back to me.

“I guess you’re not just a teacher’s pet, Hwitaek.” Hyojong leaves with a cheerful smirk, letting the door click shut behind him. I gape at the door, wondering what just happened. All that keeps me from fainting is me clutching the keys to the music room a bit too tightly.

 

I text Jinho and Hongseok about it after dinner, about how embarrassed I was. They’re probably giggling at me, but it feels better to tell someone about it. I curl up on the couch next to Hyunggu, half watching the TV and half texting. My mother joins us after finishing up the dishes. She watches the comedy movie on TV, one of my favorite genres, but I notice her eyes drooping. I persuade her to go to sleep, turning off the TV. I glance at the front door. My father was probably out drinking again. I sigh and tell Hyunggu to go to bed. He does so reluctantly, texting a few more replies before shuffling into his room with a yawn. I switch off the living room lights, but after hesitation, leave the hallway light on for my father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skdjslkal im gonna post the chapters i have every day until i run out so. yee i have no idea how to format for ao3 honestly,, 
> 
> i feel like i made them too ooc in this,, so please give me feedback oUo
> 
> also spot the pentagon reference in this chapter huhuhu


	3. Chapter 3

I sit through the first half of Friday on my toes, waiting for chemistry class to come. The bell rings and I spring from my seat, clutching my bag. A few people look at me weirdly, but I open the door and race down the hallway to the chemistry lab. Ms. Hyuna is already in the classroom, looking amused as I stumble through the doorway. The chemistry lab is cozy as always, or at least cozy to me. There were three rows of three tables, each with its own sink and stools. Various lab equipment and materials line the cabinets of the room and posters brighten up the dull white walls. 

“Good morning, Hwitaek.” She smiles warmly. 

“Good morning, miss.” I return her smile as people file into the room and into their seats.   
I take out my stack of papers as Ms. Hyuna takes attendance. Hyojong strolls into class, two minutes late, and haphazardly grabs a stool a seat away from me. Ms. Hyuna glares at him as his bag falls to the floor with a thud. 

“You're late, Hyojong.” He mumbles an apology in response and Ms. Hyuna rolls her eyes. She starts talking about the lesson, electricity. 

I look at Hyojong, and I mean really look at him. He seemed kind of off today, and not just because he was basically sprawled on the table, half asleep. I notice dark circles under his normally bright eyes and his hair seems abnormally shiny, greasy. He’s wearing a hoodie again, a white one this time, and his uniform staple ripped black jeans. I can see faint bruises on his knuckles and a scratch mark on his cheek. Did he get into a fight or something?

Hyojong glanced at me and catches me staring. Instead of shooting me a smirk like I thought he would, he looks away, more in an abashed way than disinterested. I turn my attention back to Ms. Hyuna before she notices. 

 

“Okay, I’ll come around to check your progress on the project. I’m giving you guys one more lesson to plan, and the data collection is beginning next Monday.” Ms. Hyuna starts making her way to our table as chatter fills the room once more. Hyojong sits up a bit, blinking around. I show Ms. Hyuna our papers as she comes around, and she scratches in her grade book. 

She gives me a smile but says teasingly, “Are you sure Hyojong is doing work?” I nod vigorously, and she chuckles before moving on to the next table. I turn to Hyojong, who seems dead on the table. I prod at his arm with my pen, and he mumbles something muffled from his hoodie.

I sigh and start writing my hypothesis. The method he wrote yesterday was okay, but it could be improved. I scribble on a fresh page, writing down some specifics for the experiment and starting my hypothesis when I hear gentle snores. 

They are so soft that I think I am the only one who can hear them, and they’re coming from Hyojong. A quick scan of the room shows that Ms. Hyuna was only halfway around the room, and everyone else was too busy working on their project to care about Hyojong sleeping in the middle of class. I continue working, checking on him every few moments. 

When Ms. Hyuna starts moving back to the front of the classroom, I nudge him, hard enough so that he sticks his head up. Ms. Hyuna surveys the lab, not looking twice at Hyojong. I watch him from my peripheral vision, where he blinks a couple of times to try and stay awake. Ms. Hyuna starts talking once more, and I attempt to whisper to Hyojong.

“Hey… Are you okay?” I murmured, careful not to draw too much attention to us. Hyojong doesn’t move or say anything. I don’t think he heard me. I’m about to repeat it louder when Ms. Hyuna speaks.

“Okay guys, take more time to work on your project, come to me for questions if you have any.” The rest of the class nods and the classroom starts bustling once more. I turn to Hyojong, and after wavering for a moment, slide into the stool next to him. He looks up when he feels my presence, eye circles almost as dark as his brown orbs. 

“Are you okay?” I said in a normal voice. Hyojong looks away and grunts. I take my notes and paper from the other side of the table and start finishing my hypothesis. Hyojong drifts to sleep again, and this time, I don’t bother him. He was clearly tired. I look up briefly to see if Ms. Hyuna is watching, but she seems to be eager to work on marking some old tests. 

I focus on writing down more details for the experiment when I feel something brushing against my shoulder. I don’t move, but turn my head to see Hyojong’s head leaning on my right shoulder. His eyelids are shut, his head full of brown hair gleaming under the lab lights. I pause my writing and look around the room. Nobody seems to have noticed, but just to be safe, I nudge him awake, and he twitches, waking up. He sits up properly, rubbing his eyes and looking around. 

Hyojong yawns again and sits back, looking at me. I shift my gaze at him.

“Are you okay?” I ask once more, putting down my pen. I’m not sure if I’m just curious, I can feel a strange fluttering in me. Maybe I don’t need to know. Hyojong turns away. What did I expect? I reach back for my pen to go back to writing.

“I didn’t get into a fight. At least, not on purpose.” Hyojong says under his breath. I stop writing for a moment and pick up my bag from the floor. I reach in past the brown fabric and dig around the bottom, fingers grabbing the air. Hyojong turns and watches, intrigued. 

“I know they’re here somewhere… Ah!” I pull out a couple of bandages from the bottom of my bag that I kept for emergencies. I turn to Hyojong with a polite smile, extending the fist of bandages towards him. He extends his own arm, palm facing up, and I dump all three band aids on his hand. Hyojong closes his palm and stuffs the bandages in his pocket.

“What a nerd.” He chuckles to himself.

“Hey, I’m just trying to help.” I roll my eyes and go back to work. Hyojong moves closer and watches, offering the occasional input. Class ends faster than it feels and I leave the classroom with Jinho, who was already chattering about his own project. Even in the packed hallways, I spot Hyojong’s brown bob of hair pushing open the door to the boy’s bathroom further down the hallway.

 

At lunch, I look past Jinho and Hongseok’s heads to see Hyojong’s familiar brown waves. He turns around a bit to Changgu, and I can see a beige plaster over his cheek, a scratch mark hiding underneath.

 

I spend the weekend lazing at home with Hyunggu and playing the piano. He keeps giggling at his phone, and I wonder who he’s texting. I ask once on Saturday when we were nestled on the couch, watching a comedy movie, and he shrugs, saying it’s just a few of his classmates and Wooseok. My fingers dance on the piano keys more than once, and I find that I keep going back to the song I played for Hyojong.

Jinho comes over on Sunday, and we do some homework together, chatting about how everything was harder this year, even though it’s only the middle of October. 

“I’m gonna head out early, I’m meeting up with Hongseok tonight,” Jinho says as he stands up from the dining room table, stuffing his papers and book into his bag. 

“Date night?” I tease him, and Jinho freezes.

“What?” He turns to peek back at me, flushed with embarrassment.

“Friend date night?” I wink at Jinho. He and Hongseok often go out on little “friend dates,” as I’ve named them. They’re so close they might as well be married by now. Jinho titters nervously and swings his bag over his shoulders. He leaves the house and I wave goodbye to him. I look back at my math homework and sigh. Sometimes I do feel left out, but it’s not like they do it on purpose. I should make more friends.

 

The weekend passes too quickly, and I find myself on the bus again. Jinho stares out the window for most of the ride after giving me a weak smile. He’s probably having an off day today, unlike Sunday. I don’t pester but I pat his shoulder, letting him know that he can talk to me about it. Jinho gives me a smile but doesn’t say anything. Without Jinho’s usual small talk, I listen to the younger girls behind us gossip. 

“That new boy, Yanan, was it? He’s cute!”

“Yeah, but have you forgotten about Yeo Changgu?”

“No, you can’t forget him. Or Ko Shinwon.”

“Hahaha. Are you going to the soccer practice?”

“Yeah. I think Eunbin is going too. Her sister is tagging along to “keep an eye on her,” but we all know she’s got a thing for their other friend. What was his name again?”

“You mean the weird guy who always wears black jeans? Uh, I think his name was something like… Hyejeong?”

“Kim Hyojong.” I correct them in my head, not daring to intrude on their conversation. They move on to talking about some other girls in their grade, and I stop listening. We reach school, and I get off the bus with Jinho. We walk to our lockers together, nobody paying us any attention. Our lockers were a few lockers apart on the same floor, and today I don’t see Hongseok waiting at Jinho’s locker. I look at Jinho, who was opening his locker and taking out some textbooks. I look back at my identical plain gray locker, before opening it. 

I’ve stuck a picture of Hyunggu and me on one of the walls (despite his protests,) and a group picture with Jinho and Hongseok and I about a year ago on another side. I look down at the middle shelf, taking out my chemistry textbook. Oh, that’s right, today is the day we’re doing the experiment. I walk over to Jinho’s locker, where he was staring at the inside of his locker, at a picture of him and Hongseok. He snaps out of whatever trance he was in and slams the locker door. Jinho looks at me with tired eyes, and that’s when I really notice. His eyes and nose are red as if he’d been crying. I ignore everyone else in the hallway as I sling an arm around his shoulder and we head to the library upstairs. 

The library is quiet and desolate as Jinho and I walk in. The librarians’ counter was empty. We occupy a four person table, our usual spot, near where I studied with Hyojong a few days ago, and I sit facing Jinho. Jinho looks at me, and bursts into quiet tears, stuffing his face in his hands. I immediately move next to him, holding him as he sobs as quietly as he can. I rub his back, whispering comforting words as Jinho shakes in my arms. 

I hear hurried footsteps running near us and I swiveled my head to see Hongseok standing there, out of breath. Jinho peeks through his fingers and starts sniffling. I look between Jinho and the similarly red-eyed, weary Hongseok, and I realize what happened. 

They probably had a huge fight, and now they’re sad at each other. Usually, they just ignore each other for a day and make up later, but it has to be something huge if they’re both like this. I stroke Jinho’s hair, which I know he likes despite denying it many times, as Hongseok starts to shake.

“I’m sorry, I’m not that kind of person, I’m sorry, Jinho, Jinnie, I’m so sorry-” Hongseok’s face crumples, but he manages not to cry. I stop comforting Jinho and stand up. Jinho peeks through his fingers, his shakes slowing. I give Hongseok a clap on the back and he slips into the seat next to Jinho, wrapping his arms around him tightly. I think I can count on them to resolve their issues on their own. I turn and walk away, giving them some privacy. 

Nobody ever comes to the library, except for “nerdy” people and during exam season. I spot a few people as I wander around. I stop by the science section, picking up a book and flipping through to find the chemical reactions section. I sit down on a red beanbag nearby, reading on exothermic reactions like the formation of snow in clouds. 

I read for a few minutes before I close the book and put it back where it was. I stand up, walking over quietly back to Jinho and Hongseok. Hongseok is leaning close to Jinho’s right cheek, and from this angle, it looks like he’s giving him a peck on the cheek. When they see me, he immediately pulls back, and I slip into my seat across from them.

“Looks like you guys stopped fighting about whatever you guys were fighting about.” I smile, Jinho’s face turning a faint red. 

“We’ve been meaning to tell you-”

“It’s not what you think-”

“What were you guys whispering about?” The three of us speak at the same time, and we look at each other in confusion. Jinho and Hongseok exchange a look and start laughing. I look at them blankly, a smile still on my face. I never know what’s happening between those two.

 

I wait eagerly outside the science lab, along with a couple of other people. Seunghee is chatting with one of her friends, and I’m standing next to Jinho. I scan the hallways, searching for a familiar brown mop among the sea of people. Jinho looks at me with a raised eyebrow. Our classroom was next to the stairs, so there was a constant flow of people walking in and out of the hallway outside. 

“How is your project going with Hyojong?” Jinho asks, turning to face me. I look at him and shrug. I’m not sure how I can describe it to Jinho, because Jinho really doesn’t seem to like him, and I don’t want to listen to him bash Hyojong. 

Luckily, Ms. Hyuna arrives and lets us in the classroom, and Jinho shuffles dutifully to his seat next to a bored Seunghee. I sit in my seat, staring at the clock. There was only a minute left. Hyojong slithers through the doorway and class starts, with Ms. Hyuna talking.

“Okay class, today you’re going to start your experiments. Grab your equipment and I’ll come by to give each group the green light to start.” Ms. Hyuna starts coming around as the sounds of paper shuffling and people walking around fills the air. I grab my stack of notes and papers related to the experiment and spread them out on the table. 

Hyojong reaches in his bag with a sigh and tosses out 2 hot packs on the desk. I look up at him, slightly surprised he remembered. He raises an eyebrow when he catches me staring, but I look away. 

Ms. Hyuna chooses that moment to appear, looking over our materials so far.   
“Okay boys, get your safety equipment and the rest of the things you need and you’re good to go!” She shoots us a smile and I beam back. She leaves us, and I turn to Hyojong. He’s wearing a gray t-shirt and a white jacket, coupled with his signature ripped black jeans. 

“I’m gonna go grab the other stuff we need,” I say, and I head off to the cabinets at the back that everyone’s crowded around. I peek around the other people, searching for the cabinet marked beakers and tweezers. I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn, Hyojong standing behind me holding two lab coats in his arms and two goggles. 

“Thanks,” I put a lab coat on and hang one of the safety goggles from the pocket of my lab coat. Hyojong does the same silently.

“What are you looking for? I’ll help.” Jinho interrupts us, shooting me a grin. He seems to have recovered from this morning, his eyes only faintly red. I return his smile politely. 

“Two 50ml beakers and tweezers, please!” I rattle off two items from a list in my head, and Jinho sets off. I flip back to look at Hyojong who smirks at me. 

 

“What?” I ask because he’s staring at me with that dumb smirk. 

“Nothing. Your boyfriend is whipped.” Hyojong says with a snort. Boyfriend? I don't even like guys, but I feel my face flare up. I look away from Hyojong. 

“We’re just best friends. I don't like guys.” I retort, turning back and approaching the now barren cabinets. Almost everyone else has grabbed their equipment, and Jinho is standing over at the drawer of beakers, tweezers in hand. 

“Hey, I found the things you needed.” Jinho hands me the things and I thank him before walking back to my desk with the items in hand. I place them on the table gently when Hyojong comes back with the rest of the materials in hand. 

“I found everything else while you were flirting.” He smirks again, putting on his safety goggles and threading his fingers through the scissor handles. I put on my own pair of safety goggles.

“I told you, I’m not interested in Jinho!” I exclaim, pink spreading across my cheeks. Hyojong looks up at me, awe in his eyes and a smile on his face.

“You’re really easy to rile up, you know that?” He chuckles and goes back to cutting the hot pack open. That was true, as much I hated admitting it, I was always teased for that. I start the hot bath, adding in the water in a big beaker and some sodium acetate in another one, dissolving the sodium acetate.

“What do you do in your spare time, teacher’s pet? Practice the piano and study?” Hyojong talks as he spills the contents of the hot pack in a beaker. I think for a moment. That was actually all I did in my spare time. I stir the sodium acetate, watching it melt.

“Well, what else did you expect from a nerd like me?” I ask sarcastically, turning off the water bath and letting the sodium acetate cool to room temperature. I peek at Hyojong from the corner of my eye to see him smiling at himself. I look back at the sodium acetate, trying to ignore the twitch in the corner of my mouth that threatens to curl up.

Hyojong gets up and walks over to the other side of the desk across me, leaning across the table to watch. I measure the temperature with a thermometer and scribble it down in my notes. I pick up a solid sodium acetate crystal with the tweezers and drop it in the solution. 

The solution crystallises, white snowflake like patterns spreading across the liquid, and turns back into a solid. I glance up to see Hyojong staring at it with a childlike curiosity, brown eyes wide. I look away, fumbling for the thermometer and measuring the temperature of the solid, which has almost doubled from room temperature. My face feels like it’s double the room temperature as well.

Ms. Hyuna comes by, admiring our experiment. She gestures to Hyojong when his back is turned and walks away. She probably wants Hyojong to do something to help. I dispose the solid in the solid wastebasket and start to repeat the process when Hyojong interrupts.

“Can I do it?” He asks quietly, fingers snaking over to grab the beaker. I let him take it, and watch on as he repeats the steps I took. I write down the temperatures that he took, and wonder flickers behind his safety goggles once more when he drops the solid sodium acetate. I spot Ms. Hyuna watching as well from her desk. Hyojong looks up and grins, reminding me of the Cheshire cat. I take the beaker instead, not saying anything and measuring the temperature. 

The lesson ends, just as I finish up the third trial. Hyojong has been helpful with the third trial, scribbling down the temperatures and notes in his barely legible scrawl. Ms. Hyuna insists that we stay to clean up.

“You play any sports?” Hyojong asks cheerfully, as he wipes down the table. I empty out the beakers we’ve used and place them in the sink. Hyunggu was a soccer player, but I prefer the piano over sports. Hyojong is in an unusually good mood today. He’s spoken to me more today than in my whole life.

“No. I play the piano.” I respond as I take off my goggles and lab coat. He laughs, a sound that rings in my ears and sends chills down my body. I offer to take his and he peels off his safety equipment before handing them to me. I walk to the closet in the corner of the room and hang up the lab coats. I place the goggles in the tray they sat in next to the closet, glancing at the clock. I usually have 5 minutes to get to class, and now I only have a minute left. 

I walk back to the table and swing my bag over my shoulder. I wave goodbye to Ms. Hyuna who gives me a warm smile. I burst out the door into the empty hallway, eyes searching for something. Hyojong was already gone. 

 

I walk into the music room, finding the door unlocked. I’m the first one there today, so I turn on the lights and fans. I wander in through the aisles of chairs in the middle, and I find a black folder. It lays on the seat of one of the uniform black chairs, blending in so well that I didn’t notice it at first. I don’t mean to snoop, but I feel the urge to return it, so I pry it open and search for a name. 

I open up the folder with care, finding a few pages of composed music. The first page is labeled “piano version.” I read over it, humming the melody. The person who wrote this also scribbled down some lyrics, printed somewhat messily at the bottom of each page. I place it back in the folder, holding it carefully as I make my way over to the teacher’s desk. I look at the piano next to the desk, and I get an idea. 

I perch on the piano seat, opening up the sheets of music. I lift up the black cover and reveal the glittering piano keys, ready to be played. The music fills the room, a sweet melody ringing from the piano. The person who composed this really put thought in it. I glance at the lyrics and start to sing. I don’t belt from the top of my lungs, but instead, I sing softly, matching the delicate lyrics of the song. 

I turn from my spot, and Hyojong is standing at the door, face pale and mouth slightly open. He strides over in a hurry, and I glance at the top of the sheets of music.   
On each page, marked in a signature scrawl, is written, “Kim Hyojong.”

 

“Where did you get these?” He snatches the pages furiously from the piano stand, face flush. I look up at him with wide eyes.

“I- I just found them, I swear, I didn’t know it was yours-” I stumble over my words. Great, now Hyojong’s pissed at me. He moves forward, and instinctively I brace myself for a blow with both arms. He paused for a moment. 

“Dude, did you think I was going to hit you?” Hyojong reaches past me and grabs the black folder. He stuffs the papers back in, faces unreadable. 

“I don’t know, I’ve been hit before,” I mumble, and Hyojong looks at me with a raised eyebrow. I turn away under his gaze, fiddling with my fingers. He goes back to the black folder, tucking it under his arm. 

“They’re not done yet, so uh. They’re not that good. These, I mean.” Hyojong gestures to the folder awkwardly. He’s probably shy about it. I grip the edge of the piano chair.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snooped-” I manage to make out some words, and Hyojong shrugs.

“It’s fine. You play pretty well.” He scratches the back of his neck, looking embarrassed. I shut the piano cover, resting my fingertips gently on the top. 

“I like the lyrics. You can refine the song, though.” I try my best to offer constructive feedback, standing up from the piano. Hyojong gives me a strained smile and starts going back to his usual seat for music, at the very back right of the rows of chairs. I watch as he unhooks the sides of the hard leather case. He takes out the brown instrument with care, placing the case on the floor next to him. Hyojong looks down at his guitar, his mahogany hair falling into his eyes. I’m sure he’s about to look up and moment catch me watching, but I can’t take my eyes away from him.

The door creaks open once more and a few of my classmates walk in. I finally drag my gaze from him and dart back to my seat near the piano. The teacher walks up to his desk, coughing and ready to start the lesson. 

“Before I start the lesson, I have an announcement. After looking through your playing tests again, I think some of you will benefit from some extra practice on Friday after school.” Our class groans at the thought of having to stay after school for practice and our teacher holds his hands up.

“I’m sorry, but I think you guys really can use the practice.” He says as people start to protest, saying they have other plans and team practices. I shake my head. I’m probably going to go to school practice because if I go home, I’m going to be playing the piano anyway. I sneak a look at Hyojong, whose face is unreadable as always.

 

I sigh under my breath. I was stuck. I glance up at Ms. Hyuna, who is marking some other tests today. Today, our class is writing up our lab reports, in silence. I’ve gotten to the start of the analysis but I don’t feel like working today if I have, to be honest. I look at Hyojong, who was scratching words down furiously. I decide not to keep staring at him in case I throw him off. I look up at the digital clock in the corner instead, showing me that there were 10 more minutes until class ended. I sulk, reluctantly getting back to work, noting down some qualitative data. 

 

The bell rings, and everyone hands in their work, to be continued, next class. I stretch my arms, relaxing a bit because the most difficult part is over. I grab my bag then look over at Jinho who’s still working. I spin around and Hyojong is waiting for me. 

“Hey, can I write down something on your hand real quick?” I flinch at the strange request and narrow my eyes at him. He shoots me a smile and I feel compelled to extend my left arm out to him for some reason. He pulls out a marker from one of his jean pockets, uncapping it. Hyojong holds my hand, scribbling down a series of numbers on my palm. His left hand is rough, his grip firm but not harsh. I try my best to relax in his hand, and look at it when he’s done. Did… Hyojong just give me his number?

Jinho walks up from behind me, clapping my back. I clench my fist to hide the numbers and walk with him to lunch. Luckily, Jinho doesn’t notice and starts chatting about something else, and when I look back, Hyojong vanished into the hustling crowd. Jinho glances at me and giggles. 

“You’re red, dude. Was the lab report that stressful?” Jinho asks, chuckling all the way to the cafeteria as I shake my head, trying to force the red on my cheeks to recede. 

I sit across Jinho and Hongseok, who are whispering at each other and snickering as I stare idly at the walls. I shift the sandwich I was holding to my right hand and scratch my head with my other hand. Jinho perks up and nudges Hongseok.

“Hey Hwitaek, what’s that on your hand?” I glance down at the numbers and close my palm, hiding it from their view. Jinho and Hongseok exchange smirks, and start trying to pry my hand open.

“Gah! Stop!” I try my best to curl my fingers inwards but they pull them open, revealing 8 digits written in slightly smudged black marker. They lean back and laugh, prompting some people near us to look over.

“Wow, Hwitaek, finally getting some girls!” Jinho teases as Hongseok wipes at his eyes. I blush furiously. I’m finally making new friends, and they laugh their butts off at me.  
“It’s not like that!” I protest, but they keep teasing me and I fight the urge to look at the other side of the cafeteria where a certain brunette usually sat. 

 

I sit at the desk in my room, my phone in my right hand. My curtains are open, natural light shining in from outside. I open my left palm and open up my contacts on my phone. I tap to add a new one and input the 8 digits into a new contact. I shift the phone back to both hands and type “Kim Hyojong” in the name field. This feels so strange. About a week or so ago, we wouldn’t even have talked before.

I think for a moment, and open up Line. I used Line to chat with Jinho, Hongseok, my parents, and Hyunggu. I don’t talk to a lot of people. I tap on Hyojong’s contact and the keyboard pops up, ready to enter a message. I hesitate. I see his status flicker to online for a moment, and I immediately turn off my phone, placing it face down on the corner of the table far away from me. Maybe not today.

I hear a ding and I jump. I reach and take my phone cautiously, turning it over to check my notification. Hyunggu texted me, reminding me about him starting his soccer training next Wednesday. I answer him quickly and put my phone back. I don’t touch my phone for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont have a beta reader and because of its length, i only briefly correct my chapters with grammarly!! sorry for any mistakes;;
> 
> leaving a kudos or comment would be nice but just knowing that you read this is great to me!
> 
> bless <3


	4. Chapter 4

I talk to Yanan a bit in math class. He’s actually pretty smart, but just not that social. I can relate to him a lot, actually. We work on problems together, helping each other on parts we don’t get. We finish the classwork a bit early, so we quietly chat for a bit.

“So, how’s school going so far?” I ask. It’s not easy being a new kid sometimes. He perks up.

“It’s alright. I’m great friends with Changgu. And Elkie and Shinwon. And you.” He gives me a genuine smile, one of those smiles that make you feel warm inside. I touch my heart, returning a smile.

“Haha. How did you meet Changgu?” I ask because I can’t really imagine how they would’ve met under normal circumstances. He thinks for a moment.

“Well, I remember walking into English class late because I got a bit lost, and the teacher put me next to Changgu and he became my guide around the school. He was talking my ear off!” We chuckle a bit. Changgu’s infamous reputation for being overly chatty was, well, pretty infamous. I was in the same class as him a year ago, and that guy talked nonstop during class. 

The bell rings, and we pack up our stuff. We bid each other goodbye and leave the classroom to our next separate classes.

I walk into the cafeteria, holding my lunch bag. Hyunggu didn’t want the leftovers last night so I’m eating them today. I slide into my normal seat across Hongseok, who was already starting to eat. Jinho went to grab his lunch at his locker, so I start to eat too. Yesterday’s leftovers are beef and rice, cooked by my mom. Hongseok and I eat instead of talk, and there’s an air of awkward silence hung in between us, so I look away.

I spy Hyojong entering the cafeteria from the doors. He looks around the cafeteria as if searching for something. I usually only have music with him on Tuesdays, chemistry on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, so I don’t see him on Thursdays. He is wearing a white hoodie I’ve seen him before and paired with his black jeans as always.

Hyojong sees me and smirks. I look back at him, blinking twice. He goes to his usual spot and sits down next to Changgu, who starts talking to him. Jinho sinks into the seat next to Hongseok and starts talking about some topic I don’t really care about.

He doesn’t look back at me, as if teasing me, no matter how many times my gaze is drawn back to him.

I exit the school, feeling the icy air poking at my skin. I survey the area. Crowds of people are talking and walking around, either running to the bus or walking to the streets. I follow the crowd who files into the streets outside. I have some free time today, and I’m heading to the convenience store near the school. My octopus was low on money, and my mother told me to go refill it.

I’m about to leave when I see Changgu walking out of the building, a trail of girls following him. He’s accompanied by none other than Hyojong, who seems bored. I duck behind one of the very convenient trees nearby that line the school, and spy on them. They walk out the school casually, a few girls watching and swooning over Changgu. I wonder where they’re going to.

I continue making my way to the convenience store, the crowds of people thinning as I walk. The convenience store about a block away from the school was bustling with people, some from our school and some not. I walk in, the bell ringing throughout the store, but hardly anyone looks up. I walk down the drinks section, grabbing a fizzy lemonade. I pause for a second and grab another bottle for Hyunggu. 

I line up to pay for the drinks, people tittering near me and milling around. The two cashiers look tired, scanning items as quickly as they can and stuffing money in the registers. I glance around, seeing people in public school uniform. I see a tall person’s chestnut brown mop of hair peek from one of the snack aisles, and my heart leaps for a second. 

The boy walks down the aisle and turns, and my shoulders sink. I didn’t realize I was hunching my shoulders. The line shuffles in front of me, and I move along, the boy long behind me.

I reach home to find Wooseok and Hyunggu asleep on the couch. Hyunggu is curled up around Wooseok’s arm, his head leaning on his shoulder like a koala. I smile fondly and I place the drinks I bought in the fridge, before turning the TV off in the living room and going to shower. 

The class files in the chemistry classroom, quietly going to our respective seats. I continue writing my report half-heartedly, other thoughts on my mind. The lab report is always the boring part of science. I could’ve picked studying physics but Jinho persuaded me to choose chemistry with him. I glance at Hyojong for a quick moment. It’s not that bad.

I gather the three pages I’ve written and stand up. Ms. Hyuna looks up when I approach her desk, taking the papers with a smile. I creep back to my seat quietly, not to disturb anyone else who was still working. About half of the class finished already, but a few people are still working, like Hyojong and Jinho. I pull out a book I’ve been neglecting in my bag for a while, Our Times. It was a romance novel, not something I’d usually read, but Hyunggu lent it to me and I would feel bad if I didn’t at least give it a try. I haven’t gotten very far, so I open up to where my green leaf bookmark is, and continue reading. 

A few minutes later, I reach the part where the main character is about to run after the love interest when Hyojong stands up, papers clenched in one hand. He hands in his papers to the teacher, who accepted them without another word. Anything Hyojong wrote on seemed to get a bit wrinkled even if he’s not doing anything but writing on it. He comes back to our table, and I look back at my book quickly. I feel him walk up behind me and peer over my shoulder. His breathing unnerves me.

“What’s that you’re reading?” I turn my head to see his observant eyes scanning the pages. I close the book, but it’s too late as he starts smirking at me.

“Wow, didn’t know you were a romantic in addition to being a teacher’s pet.” Hyojong slides into the seat next to me, a little too close for comfort. He runs his fingers through his limp brown hair, his fringe flying up. I cough and look away.

“No, this was just a recommendation, I swear!” I say, resting my hands on top of the book. He chuckles, back shaking to contain his laughter. His eyes wrinkle up when he smiles or laughs.

The bell rings, saving me from being laughed at some more. I spy Jinho rushing to finish his work, as usual. I grab my bag but I don’t move from my seat, waiting for Jinho. 

“Waiting for your boyfriend?” Hyojong looks over at me as he teases, but I see his smile fading. I shake my head, unsure of why he’s so insistent 

“We’re just friends, as hard as it may be to believe,” I say in a matter of fact sort of tone. He looks over at Jinho for a moment, before turning and strolling out the door. Jinho walks over to me, stretching his arms. We head to the cafeteria, me asking him about the lab report until he gets sick of talking about it. 

“Hey, guys.” Hongseok greets us with a cough. He eats slowly as Jinho talks about his art project. While me tuning Jinho out isn’t that uncommon, Hongseok not being hungry like today is rare.

“Hey Hongseok, are you okay?” I interrupt their conversation when Jinho pauses to take a bite of his own lunch. Hongseok nods vigorously, before coughing. Jinho looks at him with concern, placing a hand on his back.

“I might have caught a cold or something. I should be better over the weekend.” Hongseok smiles weakly and finishes the rest of his lunch. Jinho fusses over him like a parent and I stare off into the other side of the cafeteria. 

I see Changgu talking to Yanan animatedly, while Elkie talks to her friend, across them. Her friends, the popular girls, took over the other half of the table. Shinwon looks bored as he eats from a takeout box, and Hyojong has faced away from me, staring at his phone. I look back at my lunch, another sandwich, and I wolf it down without another thought. I was starving more than I thought.

After school, I take my time as I stop by my locker, placing down a textbook I didn’t need for the weekend. I close the locker door, about to head to the buses when I remember about the extra band practice today. I rush quickly to the basement, dodging the flow of people going upstairs. The music teacher is strict about after school practices, meaning detention for people who didn’t go. I reach the discreet music room, out of breath. There was nobody here. I try the door, but it’s locked. I stand around, standing next to the door for a few minutes. Where was everyone? Was it canceled or did everybody choose not to show up? I’m not really friends with anyone in my music class, except maybe Hyojong now, and he’s definitely not coming.

“He’s not here today.” I flip around, to see Kim Hyojong, leaning against the wall a meter or so behind me. He is carrying his hard guitar case in one hand, his other hand clenching something. I’m starting to think fate has something against me. I’ve been bumping into him or seeing him in class for the whole week!

“Oh.” I sigh. I should have gone home to practice instead because, without the music teacher, the music room is locked. I walk forward, about to leave, when Hyojong stops me with an outstretched arm, knocking me in the stomach. 

“I have the keys to one of the practice rooms if you’re interested.” I blink twice, looking up at him. He unfurls his fist to reveal a set of gleaming keys, dangling from his index finger. I sigh and take the keys. He gives me a smirk, and I start walking to one of the practice rooms, Hyojong following behind me.

I unlock the door, turning the knob to a room filled with yellow. This was the room where Hyojong walked in on me last Thursday. It feels like quite a long time ago. I go to the shelf and grab a few piano songbooks while Hyojong drops his bag. I do the same, and slide into the piano seat. Hyojong walks to the black chairs in the center of the room, grabbing a stand and a chair and dragging them across the carpeted floor to the piano. He’s a bit close. He unclips the guitar case, pulling out his guitar and a few crushed songbooks. I spot the black folder at the very bottom of his case, and my face heats up again. Hyojong looks up after propping up a songbook on the stand and follows my gaze, shutting his guitar case quickly. 

“What do you want to play?” He asks, strumming his guitar idly. I shrug and flip through the songbook, finding an unfamiliar song titled A Little Happiness. I show him, and I can see something brighten in his eyes as if a switch has been flicked on inside him.

“I love that song!” He says excitedly and flips to a dog-eared page in his songbook. I put the piano version on the piano stand, getting ready to play. I glance at him and he gives me a short approving nod, letting me start. I start to play the notes softly, and the sound of his guitar chords accompanying my piano melody. I mess up a note or two, but he gives me a reassuring smile when I glance at him. His smile gives me a weird feeling, different from when I see Yanan or Jinho’s smile. I brush the thought aside for now and concentrate on playing the song. The lyrics are actually kinda sad, about a lost love kind of thing. The song lyrics are in Chinese, but a rough translation was written on the songbook. Maybe I can ask Yanan about it later. The last few notes ring out, and Hyojong turns to me. 

“That was pretty good. Was it the first time you’ve played that song?” I nod, resting my fingers on my lap. Hyojong sighs and looks down at his guitar.

“I’ve played this song a lot. Not very easy, but you’re good.” I turn a bit pink, unused to this kind of praise. I nod and mumble thanks. I should say something, but my brain feels like it’s in scrambles. Have I been sleeping enough lately?

“Do you wanna practice another song? I’ll pick one, how about this one?” He points at a song I’m not familiar with, and I nod. 

We practice until 5 when the buses leave. I actually don’t live that far from school, but it would take me over half an hour to walk home if I had to. I glance at the clock, and my eyes widen.

“I need to go, the buses are leaving soon,” I say hurriedly, closing the piano cover and leaping across the room to stick the songbook back in place. I grab the music room key as Hyojong returns the stand and his chair to where they were before, packing up his guitar case and slinging his bag across his back. I grab my bag and we run out of the room, our footsteps echoing in the empty hallways. Our footfall bounces off the walls as we walk up the stairs, back to the main building.

“Bye.” I stop in front of my minibus, Hyojong about to head the other way. He smirks.  
“Text me.” He says that and bolts. I shake my head and climb on the bus, flopping down on a seat. I have a lot of questions.

Wooseok comes over on Saturday, spending the whole day at our house. He doesn’t have family problems as far as I’m aware, and I think he’s just really great friends with Hyunggu. I don't mind having him around, I consider him like a brother as well. They go out to play soccer for the whole afternoon with their friends, and I spend the day playing the piano, practicing A Little Happiness over and over. My mom is working again, and my dad is probably out drinking or something. Who knows what he’s doing? It isn’t until late afternoon, when Hyunggu texts me, that I realize I still haven’t texted Hyojong. I climb on my bed as I open Hyung's text about staying out for dinner, typing a quick reply saying yes. I go back to Hyojong’s conversation, staring at the keyboard. What should I type? 

Hi

I shake my head, deleting it. Too simple. I think for a moment.

What’s up?

No, too awkward. Then again, it’s going to sound awkward no matter how I put it.

Hey.

I push the send button before I can hesitate, and immediately stuff my face into my pillow. I just texted Kim Hyojong. It’s been too long since I’ve texted someone outside of my friend group or my family. I sit up straight. I shouldn’t be so awkward, it’s not like I’m texting a girl or anything. My phone dings with a reply and I feel like shoving my head into the covers. I peek at the conversation.

Lee Hwitaek  
Saturday, 3:30 pm:  
Hey.

Kim Hyojong  
Saturday, 3:31 pm:  
whats shakin' bacon

I scratch my head. What does that even mean? I’m going to take a wild guess and assume it means what’s up.

Lee Hwitaek  
Saturday, 3:32 pm:  
Nothing much.

Kim Hyojong  
Saturday, 3:32 pm:  
dude you even type like a teachers pet omg

I roll my eyes. Well, I’m sorry I don’t type like trash. 

Lee Hwitaek  
Saturday, 3:33 pm:  
No, I don’t. I just text with proper syntax and grammar.

Kim Hyojong  
Saturday, 3:33 pm:  
lol ok

Lee Hwitaek  
Saturday, 3:34 pm:  
I can feel you smirking at me through text.

Kim Hyojong  
Saturday, 3:34 pm:  
you must be psychic then ha

I stare at my phone. What should I reply with?

Lee Hwitaek  
Saturday, 3:36 pm:  
You just smirk at me an awful lot.

I panicked.

Kim Hyojong  
Saturday, 3:37 pm:  
thats true  
i gotta go ttyl

Lee Hwitaek  
Saturday, 3:38 pm  
Bye.

I let out a sigh of relief. That was emotionally taxing. I switch off my phone, placing it on my desk. I walk into the living room, the whole house empty except for me. I flop on the couch, turning on the TV to a superhero movie, something I like. I watch it idly, smiling when the superhero goes and rescues the love interest. 

I wake up to Wooseok shaking me a few hours later, an animal documentary playing on TV. I jump off the couch, apologizing for falling asleep, even as Wooseok smiles and says it’s fine. He’s wearing sports clothes and shins, a bit sweaty from running around all day. Even though Wooseok’s close enough to our family that it’s not necessary, I run to the kitchen anyway and grab some water for Wooseok, despite his protests that he’s not thirsty. 

“Where’s Hyunggu?” I take a tray of three glasses of water out and place them on the coffee table, handing one to Wooseok that he accepts politely. I take a sip of another glass, sitting down next to Wooseok on the couch. 

“He’s in the shower already,” Wooseok replies, looking at me kindly. He looks tired, and I wonder what my brother was thinking, dragging him here when he should’ve gone straight home.

“You should’ve gone home instead of coming here! You’re going to get sick if you go home like this.” I say, patting him on the shoulder. Wooseok smiles at the ground.

“It’s fine, hyung. I wanted to come over anyway.” He says, and yawns, covering his mouth with one hand. I hear the shower turn off, and Hyunggu exits the bathroom. He’s in casual clothes, purple hair still wet and a towel draped around his shoulders. 

Wooseok looks up, smiling. Hyunggu sits down next to his other side, grabbing the water. I roll my eyes. 

“Wooseok, do you want to shower here? You’ll catch a cold if you don’t shower.” I say in a tone of concern. Wooseok looks back at Hyunggu nervously, who was casually sipping some water. He looks back at me.

“No, hyung, it’s fine-” Wooseok starts to protest like the nice kid he is, and I smile, looking past him at Hyunggu. Hyunggu sighs and gets up, dragging Wooseok to the bathroom and stuffing him inside, before returning to the couch lazily. I flick through a couple of channels before settling on a romance movie Hyunggu wanted to watch.

Wooseok peeks out of the bathroom 10 minutes later, a towel wrapped around his waist. He seemed kind of embarrassed. Hyunggu stops watching the movie, attention stuck on Wooseok.

“How does the hair dryer work?” He’s careful not to drip any water outside of the bathroom. I chuckle.

“I can show you-” I start to say until I’m interrupted by Hyunggu.

“I got it... Hwitaek, uh, you stay and watch your favorite rom-com.” He springs up from his seat and walks to the bathroom, not taking his gaze off of Wooseok. I shrug and keep watching the rom-com, despite the fact I don’t like rom coms at all.

Sunday passes by uneventfully. Hongseok texts me while I’m practicing the piano in the afternoon, saying he’s sick. I pause my practice to tell him to get well soon and open the chat with Hyojong. I’m not sure if I should try again, or leave it for next time. I’m interrupted as Hyunggu knocks on my door, kind of unusual as he never really comes in my room. 

“Come in,” I say, turning around to the other side of the piano chair. Hyunggu enters my room, managing a small smile. I can tell he’s down. He takes a seat on my bed, facing me. 

“What’s the matter, Hyunggu?” I ask with concern. Hyunggu’s mouth twitches as if he was struggling with what to say. I take my phone with one hand, and shift to the bed, trying to get closer to him.

“I wanted to talk to you about a problem, Hui,” Hyunggu calls me by a nickname he hasn’t used in a long time. I perk up. This must be serious.

“You can tell me anything, I won’t tell mom or dad if you don’t want me to,” I respond, and Hyunggu nods as he reaches for my phone. He holds my phone in his hand.

“Well, I’ve been thinking a lot lately.” He starts to look at my phone when I realize what he’s doing. Hyunggu just wanted to spy on my phone.

“Hey! Don’t use that dumb psychology stuff to snoop through my phone!” I exclaim as I try to grab it back. Hyunggu fights me off and accidentally clicks on a random sticker of a Line character in my conversation with Hyojong. We both stare at it for a moment.

“Hyunggu!”

“Hwitaek!”

Hyojong’s status switches to online, and I am prepared to ram my head into the wall. Hyunggu starts laughing at me. I glare at him, my cheeks burn up in embarrassment. My phone dings and we both stick our faces to the screen.

Kim Hyojong  
Sunday, 4:00 pm  
u use stickers??

Hyunggu looks up at me for a moment and starts laughing again. 

“Hyunggu! Why did you do that?” I whine, putting down my phone to shake Hyunggu’s shoulders. My phone dings again and I freeze as Hyunggu wipes a tear from his eye. I look at my phone. Hyojong sent me a sticker.

“That was hilarious. I should do this again.” Hyunggu claps me on the back, a large smirk on his face. I stuff my face in my hands. Hyunggu grabs my phone and starts typing. I sigh and flop on my bed. I’ll just tell Hyojong it was Hyunggu later. 

“Hui, look! He hasn’t figured out it was me yet!” I groan and peek through my fingers as Hyunggu stuffs the phone in my face. 

Lee Hwitaek  
Sunday 4:03pm  
Yeah! They’re hilarious!

Kim Hyojong  
Sunday 4:04 pm  
great for you!!

I can see they’ve sent a couple of stickers back and forth. I roll my eyes and Hyunggu drops the phone next to me. I groan, sitting up. He still has a stupid smirk on his face, getting up. 

“Have fun cleaning that mess, Hui!” Hyunggu sings, leaving my room. I fumble for my phone, seeing Hyojong has gone offline. There’s no point now. I’ll see him tomorrow anyway. I place my phone down on my desk and flop back on my bed. 

I yawn and shut my locker door, careful not to let anything spill out. Mondays are horrible. Jinho and Hongseok were at Jinho’s locker a few lockers down, muttering about something. I walk over to them and they stop, smiling at me. I smile with a bit of unease. Were they talking about me or something?

“Hey, let’s go to the library!” Jinho says, voice a bit squeakier than usual. I nod slowly and follow them. On the way there, they exchange more looks I don’t understand. I’m not the best at picking up on hints, but I can tell something is up. 

We get to the library, and I sit across them. Jinho looks away from me until Hongseok coughs. 

“So, we- I mean, I was wondering if you guys were free to hang out tonight?” Jinho says with a smile, looking between Hongseok and I. I look at Hongseok, who looks composed.

“Sure.” He shrugs, a soft smile on his face. He takes drama, so his acting was much better than Jinho’s, obviously. They turn to look at me, almost at the same time.

“I don’t mind. Where should we go?” I say, trying my best to appear calm and act like I don’t suspect anything. Jinho looks at Hongseok, pretty obviously. Jinho takes art. 

“Why don’t you guys come over? It’s been a while.” Hongseok says, looking at me.

“Yeah!” Jinho says, his smile spreading wider.

“Okay. Let’s go together after school.” I say, and I start reading my book, pretending I don’t see the happy looks Jinho and Hongseok exchange.

I slide into my seat at Hyojong and I’s table. Hyojong isn’t here yet, probably late. I take out my chemistry textbook and notebook, as the bell rings. Hyojong bursts through the door, hurrying to our table. Ms. Hyuna gives him a brief glare but doesn’t say anything. He takes out a ragged chemistry textbook, and looks at Ms. Hyuna, a lazy grin on his face. She coughs and starts the lesson, talking about electricity. 

“Didn't take you as a person who used stickers.” Hyojong leans in, glancing at me. 

“You learn something new every day,” I say, clicking my pen to start writing notes. Hyojong leans back, a smirk on his face. 

“Where did this sass come from?” He teases and Ms. Hyuna looks at us. I don't answer, but I feel my face getting warmer. 

We talk a few more times in whispers, but other than that, the class goes by quickly. When the bell rings, I grab my stuff and rush out the door. 

 

The day passes quickly, lunch being more looks exchanged between Jinho and Hongseok. I'm becoming more curious about what they're hiding. I wait outside the building for them after school, the cold November air making everyone shiver. I hear the chatter of the crowds coming through, and watch as everyone spreads out in the courtyard. I even spot Hyojong and Changgu, talking to Shinwon and Elkie. Her posse of girlfriends was tailing behind them, whining about the cold. What was taking Jinho and Hongseok so long?

“Hey, Hwitaek! Sorry we took so long.” Jinho says, bumbling down the steps of the building and walking towards me. His cheeks are rosy, probably because of the cold. Hongseok follows behind him, face hard to read. We make our way down the streets outside the school. Hongseok lived closer to downtown, in an apartment complex. 

We stop at a red light, Jinho, and Hongseok standing next to me. I hear a very familiar voice behind me.

“You live near here?” Hyojong says, and all three of our heads whip around to look at him.  
I shake my head, and he turns to look at Jinho. 

“Going out with Jinho?” He smirks, and I roll my eyes. I see Hongseok and Jinho exchanging a look, and Hongseok shifting.

“Leave us alone, Hyojong,” Hongseok says, stepping forward with a stern face. The light turns green, but none of us cross the street. Hyojong looks at Hongseok, and I can see gears turning in his head although he doesn’t say anything. The light turns green and Hongseok turns to Jinho. Jinho blinks in confusion. Hongseok sighs. 

“Let’s go.” He crosses the street, dragging Jinho with him. Hyojong turns to me, confusion in his eyes. I shrug and run across the street before the light turns red. I jog to catch up to Jinho and Hongseok, who’ve already reached his apartment complex.

 

Hongseok unlocks the door, flicking on the lights. The lights gave his place a warm glow, and I can see how things haven’t changed since the last time I’ve been here, a few months ago. The walls are white, decorated with a few framed pictures of young Hongseok and a painting or two. The living room looks like any other living room, white themed and clean. The whole apartment is quite tidy, the shoe cabinet organized and the floor sparkling. Hongseok and his mom are both very tidy people. His mom is probably at work right now, leaving Hongseok alone at home often. Jinho and I make our way to Hongseok’s room, Hongseok heading to the kitchen to pour out some water.

His room has white walls, lined with shelves. Most of them held books, but some of them displayed a few action figures from Hongseok’s childhood. He liked Iron Man the most, I think. Jinho sits on the edge of Hongseok’s bed, on top of the dark red blanket. I look at the poster of Iron Man on one of the walls and take a seat at his desk, which was meticulously tidied. His stationery was organized in one corner, textbooks taking over another and notebooks sitting in a pile in the middle. I look around some more in silence until Hongseok opens the door, carrying a tray of three cups of water. I take one politely, and he sits on the edge of his bed next to Jinho. 

They exchange another glance that I pretend I don’t see. I turn my gaze to a framed picture of the three of us on the wall instead. We took that picture when we went to an amusement park once, about a year ago.

“So, you’re probably wondering why we asked you to hang out,” Jinho says, grabbing my attention once more. I nod slowly and take a sip of water. Hongseok clears his throat.

“Well, we’ve been meaning to tell you something.” Hongseok continues, as Jinho looks away. I take another sip of water as Hongseok gives Jinho a nudge, and Jinho sighs.

“Hui, Hongseok and I are dating.”

 

I nearly spat out my water, but I manage to swallow it. Jinho stuffs his face in his hands, and Hongseok watches me coolly. I blink.

“Oh.” That explains a lot. Why they always seem so close together, their secret smiles when they think I’m not looking, the way sometimes their touches linger for a moment too long to be platonic. Jinho clings to Hongseok, peeking at me. Hongseok looks at the ground for a moment.

“You probably don’t want to be friends with us anymore-” Hongseok begins with a huff, and I shake my head, eyes widening.

“No, it’s not like that! I’m happy for you guys! I don’t mind it at all.” I smile, and Jinho smiles back. Hongseok lifts his head, and I can see his watery eyes blinking furiously.

“Are you sure? We won’t pressure you to hang out with us if you’re uncomfortable.” Jinho starts, still unsure. I roll my eyes.

“No, Jinho, I still want to hang out with you guys. Nothing’s different, except maybe now I’ll just be third wheeling a lot.” I joke, and Hongseok laughs. His laugh is a bit odd, but there’s something in his laugh that’s just contagious. I laugh along, and Jinho manages a weak chuckle.

We spend the rest of the night hanging out, watching an action movie. I can see Jinho curling up to Hongseok, but I don’t say anything. They are pretty cute together actually. They act so married sometimes, that I wonder how I didn’t notice it earlier.

 

I get home a bit late. My parents and Hyunggu are asleep, I can hear Hyunggu’s snores through the wall. I change into my pajamas and turn off the lights in my room, wrapping my covers around me. 

Wow. Two of my best friends are dating each other, and I had no idea. Am I that bad at picking things up? I didn’t think that either of them would date until university or something, being so focused on work and stuff. Then again, I think Hongseok did get a couple of love letters over the years because to be fair, I’ve seen a few pairs of eyes glued to him when we head out. He didn’t tell me who confessed to him, but they were all obviously declined. I didn’t think of that as a sign that he wasn’t into girls at the time, I just thought he didn’t want to date in general. I sigh and turn to my other side. 

I haven’t gotten a single love letter before. I don’t have any female friends, actually. I’ve had a small crush or two before in middle school, but nothing came out of those. I’ve always liked the nice and sweet girls. 

Honestly, I don’t think anyone would like me romantically, girl or boy. I don’t mind, though, I’m content being alone. Although, it kinda feels too lonely sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha there y'all go there's the jinhongseok reveal!!! i feel like it's a bit early in the story for this but this kicks off a series of events later on ;) i think im going to chop off some smaller character arcs so i can actually finish this monster of a fanfic (i've only written another chapter of this so far zzz)   
> also there might be some formatting issues in this chapter sorry; ill fix it when i figure it out sometime soon!!
> 
> leave a kudos/comment if you liked it!! i can always use more feedback :D  
> (this might be worth bookmarking because i can't promise constant updates zzz)
> 
> bless <3


	5. Chapter 5

I drag myself to school, tired from staying up a bit last night. Hyunggu gives me a few side eyes but doesn’t ask any questions. I get to school, Jinho and Hongseok smiling like all of their burdens have disappeared. I grin back at them. I am genuinely happy for them, but I feel a bit sad for some reason, deep down. We head to the library and time goes by in a daze when I finish up a novel I’ve been reading. 

 

I run down to the music room early, eager to start class. The teacher is already inside, and he beckons me inside the room. I walk towards his desk, the lights glowing softly in the room. His table was scattered with piles of paper, and a few small boxes of musical supplies, like mouthpieces. 

 

“Ah, Hwitaek. I’ve been looking for you, actually.” He says, starting to flip things around on his desk, searching for something. Huh. He’s been looking for me?

 

“Here it is. Hwitaek, I’ve noticed your potential in music. Are you interested in pursuing a music career?” He takes out a piece of paper and looks up at me. He is a middle-aged man, black glasses resting atop the bridge of his nose. I can see the weariness in his eyes and a few strands of gray peeking from the top of his head. 

 

“I’m not sure, sir.” I haven’t really thought about what I wanted to do in the future. I’m no good with languages, mediocre at math and humanities. I’m not that interested in chemistry, but I wouldn’t mind studying it. I like music, but as most people know, it’s not an easy career. The music teacher nods tiredly.

 

“If you’re interested in music, you can consider taking this part-time job at this CD shop downtown. It might sway your opinion, and get you some extra pocket money as well.” The music teacher hands me the piece of paper,  _ Neo Culture Technology _ printed at the top. I scan the page. The CD shop was hiring people to work part time. I’ve been to this CD shop before, actually. I wouldn’t mind working a part-time job, it would fill up more of my free time. 

 

“Uh, sure. I don’t mind.” I say, folding the paper and tucking it away in my bag. The music teacher gives me a small sad smile. The bell rings and I rush back to my seat, people filling in the room.  

 

Hyojong comes in, wearing a black jacket, a white t-shirt and ripped black jeans. He glimpses at me once or twice during class, but unfortunately, we don’t speak.

  
  


I head to math class, not in the mood for math. I take a seat next to Yanan, who looks at me with a gummy smile. I shoot one back and yawn as class starts. Our teacher liked to just give us work to do during class and leave us to our devices. I start on the assigned work quietly and so does Yanan until he pauses for a moment.

 

“Do you have line?” He asks, a sheepish grin on his face. I nod, and discreetly take out my phone. The teacher is marking assignments, not looking at us. Yanan gives me his ID, I add him, and quickly turn my phone off. 

 

We chat a bit during the lesson, but nothing particularly interesting happens. Yanan tells me about Changgu, who I’m not that close with. He says that Changgu is really chatty, but really kind as well. I’ve only talked to Changgu a few times in passing, but he seems cool.

  
  


I unlock the house door, Hyunggu behind me. He’s been quiet today. We shuffle in the house, closing the door behind us. I shuck off my shoes and Hyunggu follows suit, flopping on the couch. I go inside my room, putting down my stuff and walking out to the kitchen. Hyunggu is on the couch, looking at his phone again. I grab an apple from the kitchen counter, walking to the couch and settle down, biting into the apple. I turn on the TV, flicking through the channels to find something good to watch. 

 

“There was a new kid at school today.” Hyunggu begins, turning off his phone and placing it next to him. I look at him for a second, nodding and settling on a channel playing an old black and white movie. 

 

“His name is Adachi Yuto, though he says everyone calls him Yuto. Wooseok became friends with him, and he sits with us at lunch now.” Hyunggu says. He’s staring at the TV, eyes out of focus. I can tell there’s something more to this new guy.

 

“Oh. You don’t like him?” I ask, turning my head to look at Hyunggu. He turns to me. 

 

“Well, he seems like a nice guy, but I just have some sort of bad feeling about him,” Hyunggu replies, turning back to the screen. He seems to be in deep thought, so I don’t prod any further.

  
  


Wednesday comes, and I wake up feeling alert for a change. Hyunggu seems more or less back to his normal hyper self. I breathe an internal sigh of relief. It unnerves me when he’s not as perky as he usually is. I head to class after hanging out with Jinho and Hongseok at the library. Sometimes, their closeness only reminded me of how lonely I was. Jinho is still texting him as we walk into the chemistry lab, barely noticing when he almost bumps into one of the tables. 

 

I shake my head and perch on my usual stool as the bell rings again. Hyojong is late, again. Ms. Hyuna sighs and flicks her long brown hair. After a few minutes, she starts doing the attendance at the front of the room, giving up on waiting for Hyojong. To her credit, she did wait a few minutes. 

 

Hyojong sheepishly slips into the classroom five minutes later, holding a late slip and handing it to Ms. Hyuna. She looks at him sternly but doesn’t say anything. He walks to our table, taking his sweet time. He’s wearing a black hoodie, his usual jeans, and a sad face. I watch him as he sits on his chair next to mine. I spot faint dark traces on his arms, and a scratch half visible on his leg, peeking out from a rip in his jeans. Did he get into another fight? I sigh under my breath, and Hyojong glances at me. 

 

I’m suddenly aware of how close he is. I can hear his breathing next to mine. I look back at Ms. Hyuna, who’s writing on the whiteboard right now. She’s teaching us about electricity and energy for this unit. I open up my chemistry notebook, ready to take notes. Hyojong is silent next to me, something that I thought is a bit rare now. 

 

We get through most of the lesson without saying anything to each other, although I long to ask about his injuries. However, I don’t want him to snap at me, so I don’t say anything. He looks at me a few times, but I pretend I don’t see his stares. 

 

Ms. Hyuna pauses to play a video for us about energy generation, and she gives me a nod to dim the lights as the video starts. I walk up to the panel of switches next to the door, finding the right ones and flicking them off. I slip back into my seat just as the video starts, and pretend I’m immersed in it when I can’t stop thinking about Hyojong’s bruises. 

 

“Aren’t you going to ask me about my bruises today?” Hyojong purrs, softly so only I can hear. I freeze. I really wanted to know, but I thought he would want me to leave him alone.

 

“I- was. But I thought you wanted me to leave you alone.” I breathe back, the bad quality music from the video blaring around the room. I notice Hyojong smirking. 

 

“You’re learning not to be such a snoop. That’s good.” He retorts, and I feel the corners of my mouth quirk up. I force them down again, gluing my eyes to the screen.

 

“When have I been a busybody?” I murmur. I don’t think anything I’ve done to Hyojong was that snoopy. He looks at me from the corners of his eyes.

 

“Joking, joking. Jeez, you should know me better by now.” He purrs again, a small chuckle escaping his lips. I look back at the screen, watching the rest of the video in silence, forcing the blush on my face to cool. 

 

The bell rings, and I head to my next class hastily, not waiting for Jinho or Hyojong. 

  
  


I yawn. There are only a few minutes left for class, but I’m exhausted for some reason. I can’t wait until I can go home and hide under my covers. I stare at my English teacher, reading out something from a book, before looking up. The bell rings throughout the room, and I shovel everything into my bag, eager to leave. He dismisses us, and I dart out of the classroom when my phone buzzes. I push past the crowded hallways, chatter filling the air. I get to my locker, opening it and stuffing a textbook I didn’t need and pull out my phone for a split second. Hyunggu texted me about something.

 

Kang Hyunggu

Wednesday, 3:31 pm

btw i have soccer practice today

 

I type out a quick reply.

 

Lee Hwitaek

Wednesday, 3:32 pm

Can I come watch?

 

Kang Hyunggu

Wednesday, 3:32 pm

no please don’t

 

I smile to myself. They usually went to the public soccer field for soccer practice, and that’s within walking distance from the school. They usually let people hang around, I’ve been to peep at his soccer practices a few times, but I’m not close to anyone on the soccer team. Ko Shinwon is on the team, I think. I’ll drop by today anyway, I don’t have anything to do. Wooseok tried out this year but didn’t make the team, I think he’s better suited to basketball anyway.

 

I walk out of the main building, people still talking and walking near me. I’m not the one for crowds. I put on my earphones as I head out of school, walking towards the direction of the soccer fields, playing some pop music as I stroll down the streets. I spot a couple of girls in my school’s uniform, giggling and chattering. A few of the middle schoolers liked to go watch the soccer practices because of Shinwon. I thought that would’ve stopped after he started dating Elkie but some of them are just persistent.

 

I reach the soccer field, the gate unlocked. The coach is standing near the bleachers, seemingly tired. Nobody was on the field, probably still changing. The bleachers are bare, a group of girls sitting together on the edges and Elkie Chong sitting near the middle. She is probably here to watch Shinwon, although she’s on her phone at the moment. I take a seat in the bleachers, a few rows below Elkie, the flock of girls giving me a brief glance before getting distracted by Shinwon leaving the bathrooms. I notice Seunghee in the midst of the crowd.

 

I put my bag down, and watch as more people leave the changing rooms. Hyunggu comes out, talking to someone I don’t recognize when he spots me and starts storming towards the bleachers with a huff. 

 

I jump off the bleachers, greeting Hyunggu with a smile as he walks over to me.

 

“What are you doing here?” He hisses, looking a bit surprised. He’s in his soccer clothes already, wearing cleats.

 

“I’m here to watch you practice. Think of it as payback for Sunday.” I smile smugly, and Hyunggu pouts. He turns around, scanning the grassy area behind him for a second. He turns back with a grin and I feel uneasy. He is definitely up to something. He whips back and makes a beckoning motion to someone behind him. I try to peer around him to no avail.

 

I hear footsteps in the grass coming closer, and Hyojong’s brown head of hair peeks from behind Hyunggu. He stands next to my brother, a slightly surprised expression spreading across his face as he looks at me. Hyunggu smiles smugly.

 

“Hyojong, this is Hwitaek.” He says, pulling me closer. Hyojong turns to Hyunggu.

 

“You two know each other?” Hyojong asks, looking between Hyunggu and I and trying to make the connection. We don’t look very alike for brothers.  I’m about to say something when Hyunggu interrupts.

 

“Oh, you didn’t know? Hwitaek is my brother.” He places an arm around my shoulder, giving me an extremely puffed up smile. I shrug off his arm and shove at his side. Hyunggu is so annoying sometimes.

 

“Wow. Never would’ve guessed you two were related. Geez, Hyunggu, you should’ve told me so I could tease your brother.” Hyojong laughs, slapping my brother on the back. Hyunggu joins in, and the coach blows the whistle for practice to begin.

 

Hyojong wiggles his fingers, eyes crinkling at the sides as he turns and jogs off. My gaze lingers on him a bit longer than I have to, and Hyunggu gives me a pat on the back.

 

“Your eyes look like they’re about to pop from staring at Hyojong.” He smirks and sneaks away before I can hit him. I head back to the bleachers, the group of girls still fixated on Shinwon. Elkie looks up from her phone for a moment, but I don’t say anything as I slip into my spot next to my bag.

 

I rummage through my bag, pulling out my math textbook and workbook. I might as well get some work done while I was here. I hear the sound of shoes tapping on the bleachers above me, and they get closer, thumping down closer to me. I look up to see Elkie standing next to me with a grin. She’s wearing a white top that fits her snugly, and a black pencil skirt, paired with a black jacket. I wonder how she’s not cold, wearing a skirt. Elkie sits down next to me, turning to me for a second.

 

“Another Shinwon admirer?” She asks teasingly, letting out a giggle. I shake my head with a chuckle, turning back to my work.

 

“No, I’m here to embarrass my brother. Hyunggu.” I say, and I start picking up my pencil and flipping to the page of the math homework. Elkie nods understandingly and goes back to texting on her phone. She doesn’t seem that interested in watching the boys practice, but then again it seemed like she was only here because of Shinwon.

 

I hear the occasional giggle from Elkie, the cheers of the group of girls, and the yells of the boys practicing. I try my best to concentrate on my work, but I can’t resist looking up every few minutes. The guys are doing drills, dribbling, and shooting. Our team wasn’t that bad, I know that Hyunggu is one of the best players on the team. Last year, our school placed 2nd in the district, a large part contributed from Hyunggu and someone I don’t know. I clear my thoughts and go back to work. I’m almost done with the math homework. 

 

When I finish my math work and look up. I can tell practice is about to end. The coach makes everyone run a lap and stretch. I put my things back in my bag, and Elkie stands up, stretching her arms. I glance over to where the group of girls is, but they’re getting up, ready to leave. Elkie’s shoes clunk on the bleachers as she walks to the lowest part of the bleachers, watching the guys. I climb down to where she is and stand at a respectable distance away. 

 

Elkie is pretty, but she’s dating Shinwon, so anyone chasing her is making a death wish. Her hair always combed neatly, lips parted slightly and covered in gloss, eyelashes thick and fluttery. She’s friendly as well, and I can see why Shinwon would date her. I turn my attention back to the guys, who have stopped and are heading back to the changing rooms. I spot Hyojong, who waves at me, shooting me a smirk. I look away. Elkie looks at me, eyebrow raised, but she doesn’t say anything.

  
  


Half of the team and Hyojong come out of the bathrooms, laughing and talking amongst themselves. They pick up their bags, and Hyojong looks over at me. He starts walking towards me, and I panic a bit on the inside. 

 

His hair is slick with sweat, his cheeks rosy from the exercise. His plain white shirt sticks to his slender figure with sweat, and I can see his muscular arms swinging at his side as he walks with his bag hanging from his shoulder. His bruises have faded. The grass crunches as he walks over, wearing a towel around his neck and a smirk on his face.

 

“You look nothing like Hyunggu. At least not visibly.” Hyojong says, eyes lowering. Elkie watches with amusement. My cheeks flush, and I snap back at him.

 

“Don’t do anything to my brother, you perv!” I say and slap his arm. He laughs, and I stare at the ground in embarrassment. Hyunggu saunters up to us, a grin on his face, a little too wide to be genuine. He pulls my arm, bag on his shoulders and ready to leave.

 

“Hui, we’re leaving. Goodbye, Hyojong-hyung and Elkie-ah.” Hyunggu states, and drags me away. I wave goodbye to them, both of them trying to contain their laughter. 

  
  


Hyunggu and I chat on the way home. About school and other things.

 

“Since when did you become good friends with Kim Hyojong?” I ask, and Hyunggu laughs suspiciously.

 

“Since I started playing soccer.” He replies, looking at me for a second before keeping his eyes back on the road. He’s never told me about Hyojong before.

 

“Why didn’t you say anything on Sunday?” I asked, and Hyunggu laughs again. He slaps my shoulder and steadies himself.

 

“That was so hilarious. I didn’t say anything because I was laughing way too hard.” Hyunggu answers, and I fluster in embarrassment. Hyunggu treats me like a younger brother sometimes and that’s annoying. I hit him on the arm lightly.

 

“I’m the superior sibling here, don’t forget,” I say, and Hyunggu collapses in giggles. He’s never going to take me seriously, but that’s Hyunggu.

  
  


“Hwitaek, please!” Yanan is still wearing a sheepish grin, and he rests his right hand on my shoulder. I pretend to muse for a moment as he looks at me expectantly. The clock in the math classroom ticks by quietly while his eyes gleam. The rest of the class are either working or talking amongst themselves again. Sometimes, I wonder how anyone learns anything here. I turn my attention back to Yanan once more.

 

“When is it again?” I ask innocently, pretending this is the first time I’m asking. I see Yanan struggling to be patient.

 

“Sunday. Please come to the fair on Sunday with Changgu and me.” Yanan says it again with a smile, but I can see the agony in his eyes. He’s really scared of being alone with Changgu.

 

“Ok. Alright.” I sigh, and he sighs in relief a bit loudly. Some people around us look at us weirdly but turn back to what they were doing a second later. Yanan smiles brightly. His smile isn’t like Hyojong’s, whose smile is more like a smirk. 

 

“Thanks! Changgu says he’s going to bring a friend too, so it’s not going to be awkward like we’re on some kind of date or something.” Yanan laughs, but it’s the kind of awkward, nervous laugh that I would make. I narrow my eyes at him and try to force my smile down.

 

“Are you afraid of being alone with him?” I ask, and Yanan looks at me, all serious. He looks like he’s contemplating something, but sighs after a moment. He leans in a bit closer, and I inch forward.

 

“I haven’t told anyone this, but I think Changgu has a crush on me or something,” Yanan says in a hushed tone. I lean back. This wasn’t what I expected him to say. Yanan looks around in a panic and shushes me although I haven’t said anything. 

 

“Shh. His reputation would be ruined if you say anything!” Yanan looks serious, the most I’ve seen him been. Well, I do see Changgu talking to him a lot in the cafeteria. He seems to always be around Yanan or Hyojong. I can’t say for sure because I’m not friends with Changgu and I don’t really see them interact in person, but I can’t entirely rule it out if Yanan thinks so. I know that Changgu has rejected every girl that has confessed to him, but it’s not always a sign that he’s into guys. I think for a moment, Yanan staring at me hopefully. 

 

“I can’t really say, but I guess it’s not out of the question? How long have you suspected?” I ask him. Yanan ponders for a minute.

 

“Around two weeks. He started like putting his arm around me and stuff like that around two weeks ago.” Yanan replies, in thought. I nod. That kinda borders on best friends and something more, although not always. It varies between people, and I really don’t know much about Changgu.

 

“I guess we’ll have to find out at the fair. Maybe he’ll say something then.” I say, and Yanan nods enthusiastically. A silence starts to hang between us, but the classroom is loud with chatter. I decide to say something to lighten up the mood a bit.

 

“So, do you like him back?” I ask teasingly. Yanan rolls his eyes, but he shifts as if he’s uncomfortable. 

 

“Well, I guess I don’t mind if he likes me? I mean, we’re pretty good friends and I think he’s a nice guy. He’s… Handsome as well, I guess.” Yanan says, and I see his cheeks redden a bit. Just a tinge. I decide to keep it to myself, but a smile plagues my face anyway. Yanan flusters when he sees my grin.

 

“Stop it!” He hits my arm playfully, and I chuckle a bit. Sunday is going to be interesting.

  
  


I yawn as I slam the door to my locker. It’s Friday, my favorite day of the week. The hallways are populated with the same old people, people I don’t talk to. Jinho and Hongseok were talking quietly at Jinho’s locker a few lockers down. They’re smiling at each other and I see Jinho’s cheeks redden. I roll my eyes. They’ve been doing that nonstop, staring at each other all sappy and stuff. I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone figured it out sooner or later. I lean on my locker, pulling out my phone to check the time. It was still too early to head to class. 

 

I open up Line. I chatted to Yanan a bit last night, talking about our plans for Sunday. Earlier, he said that Changgu was going to bring another friend, and he just sent me a winky face. Could it be that Yanan is trying to set me up with someone? It’s going to be one of Elkie’s friends, I’m pretty sure. I’ve never been on a date, much less a double date. 

 

I breathe in for a moment. I should stop overthinking it. I’m about to switch off my phone and head back to Jinho and Hongseok when someone slams their arm on the locker on my left with a bang. 

 

I jump and look up to see Hyojong in front of me, craning his neck to try and read my screen. I switch off my phone, cheeks burning from embarrassment. I stuff my phone in my pocket as I look around Hyojong. A few people turned to look at us for a split second but look away, except a few girls in the corner giggling. I can’t see Jinho or Hongseok from here, but they probably don’t care. Hyojong is looking at me now as if waiting for me to say something.

 

“You’re the one being nosy now,” I mumble under my breath, compelling my cheeks to return to their normal color. Hyojong laughs, taking his arm off the locker next to me. His laugh is melodic and rings between my ears. 

 

I can see dark circles under his eyes, and his hazel brown hair looks a bit greasy as if it hasn’t been washed in a few days. He’s wearing a white hoodie that I’ve seen him in before, and signature ripped black jeans. He looks back at me and I realize I’ve been staring.

 

“Is there something you wanted?” I ask, standing up straight and straightening the plaid shirt I’m wearing. I really should get back to Jinho and Hongseok. He doesn’t flinch or pause, and instead smirks at me.  

 

“Can’t I say hi to one of my friends?” He teases back softly, putting his hand on my shoulder. His hand is warm, but I flinch anyway.

 

“See you around, teacher’s pet.” Hyojong drops his arm and starts walking away, wiggling his fingers at me as he strolls down the hallway. He is overly dramatic. 

  
  


I sigh a sigh of relief and turn back to Jinho and Hongseok, who are watching me with wide eyes. I walk over to them and they exchange a glance but don’t say anything. They probably didn’t need to anyway. I stand in front of them, and they keep staring at me.

 

“Let’s go,” I say, and both of them blink again, nodding slowly and starting to walk along with me. 

 

They don’t mention it for the rest of the morning, but I can see them exchanging worried glances when they think I’m not looking.

  
  


I wait outside the classroom with Jinho, listening as he talks about the latest Iron Man movie that he wants to go see with Hongseok. I don’t really care about whether or not Iron Man is a supervillain or not, to be frank, but I smile politely and listen anyway. Ms. Hyuna arrives in a flurry, her long brown hair mussed up by the breeze and high heels clicking on the hallway floor. 

 

“Sorry, I’m late guys.” She smiles and unlocks the door, letting us inside the lab. I switch on the lights and fan on my way in because I sit next to the door. I find my spot, sit down and set out my things on the table. Hyojong creeps into the classroom a minute after the bell rings, but Ms. Hyuna doesn’t say anything. I don’t say anything to him other than a greeting, which he replies with a grunt and we sit in silence as Ms. Hyuna does the attendance. He seems to be in a contemplative mood today, so i leave him alone for the most part. He gives me an occasional glance, but other than that, we don't talk. 

  
  


The bell rings, and I start shoveling my things back in my backpack. I’m really hungry today, for some reason. The teacher says something I can’t really hear over the bell and people talking, but I slip on my bag and I start heading downstairs to the cafeteria. The hallways were crowded as usual, but I don’t see Jinho or Hongseok’s familiar heads of hair as I shuffle down the sea of people. It’s loud on the stairs, but it always has been. I spot Elkie’s distinct long black hair near the cafeteria doors, and I slowly make my way over, maybe to say hi. By the time I get inside the cafeteria, she’s already slipped away to the other side.

 

I buy a hot meal today, rice and beef. School food isn’t that bad if I had, to be honest. I bring my tray to the table, sitting down in my usual spot across Jinho and Hongseok. They're snickering about something but quiets down when I sit. Another reminder about my singleness. I start spooning food into my mouth, mindlessly looking at a certain corner of the cafeteria as Jinho and Hongseok talk quietly about something. 

 

Hyojong isn’t on his phone for once, talking to Changgu. They seemed to be talking quietly, or at least compared to Shinwon and Elkie, who were shouting to talk to the girls at the other end of their table. I actually don’t really see Changgu talking to any girls other than maybe Elkie.  Yanan seemed to be quietly eating, observing Shinwon and Elkie as well. 

 

“Earth to Hwitaek. What’re you looking at?” Jinho says, waving a hand in my face with amusement. I blink, looking back at the two of them. Jinho is trying to stifle his laughter, but Hongseok looked dead serious. 

 

“Hwitaek. Don't fall in love with him. I can already tell it's not going to end pretty.” Hongseok says it in a deadly serious tone, his face stern and fatherly. He reaches across the table to grip my shoulder as if to emphasize his point. Wait, was he insinuating that I was falling in love with Hyojong?

 

“What?” I ask in disbelief. I have never mentioned crushing on Hyojong, nor do I feel any sort of romantic interest in him. 

 

“Dude. It's pretty obvious.” Jinho chimes in, looking more serious. Hongseok nods along, giving me an are-you-serious look. I shake my head. 

 

“No. What? I'm not in love with Hyojong. Why would I fall in love with him? No offense guys, but I'm pretty sure I'm not gay.” I say, trying not to look at Hyojong’s side of the cafeteria and stare at my plate instead. Jinho and Hongseok exchange a knowing look. 

 

“Well, what girls have you been in love with? That 2-week crush on Sorn last year didn’t mean anything and you know it, Hwitaek.” Jinho pipes, smirking. I habitually glance over where the rest of Elkie’s friends are, and a girl whom I used to admire in the middle. I shake my head and turn back. Jinho is kinda right, though. 

 

“We’re two gay guys in love, Hwitaek. I think we’re a pretty reliable source to hear this from.” Hongseok says, albeit a bit quieter so the people next to us don't hear. Jinho turns a bit to look at their table. I knit my eyebrows in confusion. Am I close enough to Hyojong for Jinho and Hongseok to assume I'm in love with him? I mean, Hyojong is somewhat conventionally attractive, but I would say the same about Hongseok or Changgu or Shinwon. Besides, I barely know Hyojong. 

 

“Guys. You're probably mistaken. I don't even know him that well.” I say with a small huff, and look them in the eyes.

 

“Fine. You can keep thinking that.” Hongseok says, rolling his eyes. Jinho giggles. They are delusional. I turn to look back at Hyojong’s table. Hyojong’s brown hair bobs a bit when he talks, and his eyes crinkles when he smiles, which he's doing as he talks to Changgu. 

  
I turn back to Jinho and Hongseok, who were both smirking at me. I feel my cheeks heat in embarrassment. Despite what they think, I'm not in love with Kim Hyojong and I'm not going to ever fall in love with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry the formatting is off this chapter;; im still getting used to ao3 haha!  
> this chapter is mostly setting up events for the next chapter, so get ready for that!! im gonna be busy with a few school assignments, so expect the next chapter to come out around next wednesday or thursday ish?
> 
> im sorry for the wait TuT but if u wanna catch me outside (haha) of ao3, im on tumblr as @marciee (although im not on it that much) and instagram as @pentacrazy!
> 
> as always, leave a comment/kudos/bookmark and i'll catch u lovely people next time!!  
> bless<3


	6. Chapter 6

I open the door to the cozy CD shop, the bell at the top of the door ringing. I weave through aisles of CDs to find a pretty young guy with a mid part and tall stature managing the counter. The music shop seemed relatively quiet today, only one or two other people browsing in the store. The counter that separated us stretched along the back of the store, with various posters and CDs in the glass display case. The guy stands up from a wooden stool behind the counter, brushing off his blue apron as I walk over. He wears a polite smile on his lips. 

“Hi,” I start, clutching my application in my right hand. My first job interview is about to start, so it’s natural to be a bit anxious, right?

“How may I help you?” The guy asks sweetly, his voice rich like honey. I glance at his name tag. His name is Johnny and his name tag identifies him as an employee of the store. I’m a bit disappointed that he isn’t a manager because that meant I had to talk to even more people. 

“I'm… here for a job application.” I try my best not to mumble and hold out the paper in my hands. Johnny takes it, scanning the contents for a moment, but he gets interrupted by the doorbell. He glances up to the customer and back at me. 

“Hold on,” Johnny says to me with a charismatic smile that I nod my head to, and turns to the door behind him that says employees only. 

“TAEYONG. GET OUT HERE.” Johnny shouts at the door and turns back to me with a grin. The door behind him bursts open by a guy who’s wearing the same blue apron as Johnny, a name tag labeled Taeyong and manager. His hair is mussed up, cheeks flushed and he straightens out his button up shirt under his apron. He glares at Johnny as he storms over to our side of the counter. 

“Johnny, I swear to god- Oh. Hello there.” His features soften the second he notices me. I notice that he has a really defined jawline, a smooth deep voice, and intense eyes. Johnny smirks and slinks away, stuffing the paper in Taeyong’s palm. 

“I'm going to go tend to the customers like a good employee, Taeyong-nim.” Johnny puts extra emphasis on the honorific that followed Taeyong’s name. Taeyong rolls his eyes at him but turns to scanning the piece of paper in his hand. 

“Hmm… Another one of Mr. Yang’s students. Looks like you're all set to start. Come into the back room, I'll show you around right now!” Taeyong shoots me a warm smile, and I return it a little nervously. Was this it? No job interview? I walk to the side of the counter, crawling under the flap door. Taeyong greets me with a smile on the other side and I realize he’s a bit taller than I am. I peek back at Johnny, who was standing at the other side of the store, ringing a customer up. 

“I'm Taeyong. That was Johnny, he’s usually a brat. Nice to meet you.” Taeyong says as he pushes open the employees only door and motions for me to follow. 

“Likewise,” I respond with a nod. The employee’s room is quite different from the main store. While the main store is painted a soft blue and carpeted with gray, the back room is painted white with a tiled floor. The store room contains shelves of boxes of CDs and records, a round table with a few chairs pushed into it, and a sofa near the back entrance. A few bags lay on the floor near the sofa, where Taeyong leads me.

“Hey, honey- I mean. Taeyong.” A new face peeps out from one of the storage shelves. He notices me and his face immediately flushes. I look back at Taeyong, who beckons him over. I see that the guy is wearing an identical blue apron, a friendly smile and blonde hair that looks like it was quickly smoothed down instead of combed through. His name tag identifies him as Jaehyun and another employee of the store. Even though it seems like business was slow, there’s quite a lot of people working here. 

“Jaehyun-ah, meet the new part-timer, uh…” Taeyong places a hand on my shoulder and glances back at the job application in his other hand while Jaehyun gives me a soft smile. 

“Hwitaek, sir. Nice to meet you.” I bow a bit, and Jaehyun flusters. Taeyong smiles at him. They must be great friends. 

“Ah, I’m not that much older than you, there's no need for the formality! Nice to meet you too.” Jaehyun says with a friendly smile and looks back at Taeyong, who jerks his head to the shelves, implying that Jaehyun should go back to whatever he’s doing. 

“I'm going to get an apron and name tag for Hwitaek and right back to work after that, Taeyong,” Jaehyun rattles as he dashes back to the shelves. I look back at Taeyong, who walks over to the table and motions for me to come over. I sit down next to him, and he pulls out a stack of paper from under the drawer. 

“Okay, I’ll brief you on your duties and shifts. Currently, we have a bunch of part-timers. It feels like Mark and I are the only full-timers here sometimes. Anyway, there are two shifts per day and on this shift, we have Johnny, Jaehyun and me. We can switch Johnny to the night shift if you want to come in on this shift regularly. I'm sure Johnny won't mind, Ten is on the second shift on Saturdays.” Taeyong looks seriously as he consults a table showing who works each shift. I scan the table, seeing names like Ten and the Mark that Taeyong was talking about. It looks like each shift requires at least two people, and I'm starting to wonder where they get the money to pay all of these part-timers. 

“Okay, it looks like the only spot we need to be covered is this shift. Oh wait, are you free on Tuesdays? We can use your help on the Tuesday night shifts.” I nod, and Taeyong scrambles for a pencil to mark it down. I hand him one that was in the middle of the table and he gives me a smile. He crosses some names out and writes in my name while mumbling something to himself. 

Jaehyun bumbles towards us, a folded apron in his hand and a name tag placed on top. He places them on the table, looking expectantly at Taeyong. Taeyong looks up, nods and Jaehyun flitters back to the shelves, where I see him opening boxes and organizing CDs. 

I turn my attention back to Taeyong, who rummages through the pile of papers. He grabs a list and scans it quickly before handing it to me. It’s a list of rules for employees, and I read over them briefly. Most of them seem to be common sense, but a few standout. For example, “No drinking soup in the break room.” Taeyong looks over my shoulder when he sees the confusion on my face, and he shudders. 

“That rule was put in place after the Johnny soup incident. I had to wash my apron 5 times to get rid of the smell and stain.” Taeyong says, rolling his eyes. He takes the apron and name tag in front of me, unfolding the apron and dusting it off. He tuts at it as he tries to smoothen out the creases. 

“Here, try this on.” He hands it to me with a caring smile, and I stand up to wear it. I slip through the top and Taeyong rushes to help me tie up the back. He seems to be a pretty caring person. The apron fits me perfectly, and I try to soothe the crinkles on my apron. This apron clearly has been folded away for too long, leaving prominent creases. 

Taeyong grabs a marker from the drawer under the table and scribbles my name on the name tag. He hands it to me, and I pin it on my apron. Taeyong smiles warmly and stands up as well. 

“Okay, leave your bag here and I'll take you outside to show you around.” He walks back to the main store, bringing me along. I see Johnny wandering around the store, tidying up some of the CDs. Taeyong settles on the cashier stool and I follow him. He shows me how to open and use the cash register, then sends me back into the back room so Jaehyun can show me the storage shelves.

I peer back into the staff room. It’s lit with a few cozy overhead lamps, but the storage shelves have ceiling light fixtures instead, giving them a bright lighting. Jaehyun looks up from a box of CDs when I find him in one of the aisles. He gives me a smile and beckons me over. I come closer towards him, and he shows me how the shelves are organized in the back, by alphabetical order. Then, he hands me a stack of CDs and instructs me to reshelve them outside. 

I struggle with the pile of CDs in my hands, but I manage to make it outside the store room when Taeyong walks in through the door, holding it open for me as he takes his break. I look back to see him tutting and grabbing a broom to sweep the back room. Taeyong does seem like a leaderly and tidy type of guy. 

Outside the storeroom, I make it under the flap and wander up and down the aisles, occasionally placing CDs back in their place. The shelves are organized in alphabetical order, so it seemed simple enough to sort them. My footsteps are silent against the gray carpet of the store, and I feel the stack of CDs in my arms become lighter with each one I shelve away. Johnny is manning the cashier, although he’s currently flipping through a magazine on the countertop because there’s nobody inside the store. I’m really having trouble seeing how this small CD shop can possibly afford to pay so many part-timers.

The bell rings, signaling a new customer. Johnny nods to me from the cashier, signaling that I should continue on with my work. I continue down the aisle, scanning the labels of artists and leaving Johnny to take care of the customer. 

“Johnny, my best man! What’s shakin', bacon?” I freeze as I hear a familiar phrase, repeated by a familiar high-pitched voice. I face away from the counter as I gingerly place a CD into its place as footsteps come closer. I hear Johnny laugh and close his magazine.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite customer, Hyojongie!” Johnny replies in a saccharine voice, grinning and biting his lip. I turn back to work, hoping to finish up this aisle and creep away before he sees me. 

“Very funny, Johnny. Where’s TY?” I hear Hyojong settle in front of the cashier spot, and I can imagine his arms crossed on top of the counter. I silently shuffle to the opposite shelf in my aisle, sticking a CD into its appropriate section.

“In the back, so making out with Jae. Where else would he be?” Johnny answers sarcastically. Hyojong snorts, and I try not to choke. That was not the answer I expected. I’m almost done with my CDs, only a handful left to go. 

“Oh yeah, Hyojong, meet the new part timer. One of the youngest here, I think. Well, next to like, Jisung.” Johnny says, and I freeze. I whip around, and the pile of CDs I’m holding proceed to fly out of my hands and onto the floor.

 

Johnny laughs, but Hyojong rushes to help and collects all of the CDs on the floor before piling them onto my arms. He stacks the last one on top and makes eye contact with me. His jaw proceeds to drop, and my eyes feel like they’re about to pop.

“Seriously?” Hyojong asks in an incredulous tone, and I nod slowly. He turns back to a puzzled Johnny for confirmation. Johnny leans over the counter slightly, a smile spread across his face that reminded me a bit of a shark.

“You two know each other?” Johnny’s expression was a mix of confusion and amusement, and I nod as I turn back to reshelving the CDs. I have a strange sort of feeling that Johnny will also be teasing me about Hyojong, like Jinho and Hongseok. I let out a soft sigh. There is no escape.

“Yeah, Hwitaek here is a music nerd in my chem class.” Hyojong slaps a hand on my shoulder and I flinch for a second before looking back at the work I had to do. Hyojong didn’t seem like the type to hang out around CD stores, but judging by how he knows the employees well enough to joke around with them, I was wrong.

“I’ll help you with that.” He turns to me and snatches a CD called Coming Over, turning it around to see the cover with an amused smile. Hyojong darts to the appropriate section and plants it in before For Life. He helps me shelf away most of them, and every time his fingers brush against my arm, I feel a bit of a buzz.

When the pile runs out, Hyojong shoots me a grin but leans back on the counter opposite Johnny. Johnny glances at the blue clock on the wall next to the door, and something comes over his face that I can’t read. I make my way over the counter, and I can see Johnny giving me another strange look and wearing the same shark-like grin. 

“Why don’t you be a sweetheart and get TY out here? The afternoon rush is about to start!” Johnny says, and I nod in response. I try my best not to look confused about the “afternoon rush” part, and make my way to the back room. 

 

I open the employees only door softly, and I see something that I regret seeing. Jaehyun is furiously making out with Taeyong against one of the walls and I stop in my tracks in shock. I feel my eyes widen and I begin to take steps backward when Taeyong sees me and immediately breaks apart from Jaehyun. They both go extremely red, but Taeyong walks over to me slowly. I see Jaehyun scurry back into the depths of the storage shelves without another word.

“Hey, uh, what’s up?” Taeyong says casually and smoothes down his hair. His face is starting to come back to a normal color instead of being a flushed red. I feel my voice coming back and I manage to speak after a moment.

“Um, Johnny wants you outside. He said something about the afternoon rush?” I mumble, and he immediately turns to the clock hung on the left wall of the staff room. He faceplants, sighing deeply.

“Oh god. I forgot about that. Okay, you should probably come with me, this is pretty important.” Taeyong sweeps to the door and walks out, motioning for me to follow. I follow and outside, I see Johnny and Hyojong talking about something. Johnny’s grin spreads even wider when he sees Taeyong.

“Hey princess, glad you could make it. Sorry for interrupting you from sucking off Jaehyun in the back room, this was kind of important.” Johnny says sarcastically, and I think my eyes are actually about to fall out of my head from all the eye-widening things I’ve experienced today. Taeyong rolls his eyes as Hyojong sniffs. 

“Shut up Johnny, I have to sit through your horrible flirting with Ten and watch you two fuck with your eyes. Hey, Hyojong.” Taeyong says as he opens the cash register and double checks the money inside. Hyojong grunts back in greeting and Johnny clutches his heart dramatically.

“I can’t believe you would call my flirting horrible! On that note, the afternoon rush is about to arrive any second now. Taeyong, fill the new kid in.” Johnny says and takes out a pocket mirror. Hyojong watches him in amusement as he combs through his hair. I turn back to Taeyong, who is doing the same thing.

“Okay, Hwitaek. Our gorgeous little prince here, Johnny, has a group of female admirers who come in whenever he’s working a shift. We tolerate them partly because they buy stuff and generate business for the store, and partly so our precious Johnny can let out his sexual frustration and terrible pickup lines on them instead of us.” Taeyong says, flicking a few stray hairs from his face. Johnny snorts, and Hyojong chuckles.

“That’s pretty much it, but of course, our store is known for not just me, but also our charming employees. Especially our modest manager, Taeyong himself. Almost everyone has admirers, actually. Heck, even that twerp Jisung has a few.” Johnny says, a smirk on his face. Taeyong turns to me and flattens my hair, brushing my fringe with his fingers. I knew Johnny and Taeyong are attractive, but to the extent of having admirers was a bit extreme, wasn’t it?

“Wow. Wait, what does that have to do with me?” I ask, as Taeyong stops fixing my hair and looks me up and down. Johnny raises an eyebrow as he turns to me. Hyojong tries to hide a smile, but I see it before he makes his expression neutral again.

“What do you mean? We’re gonna get you a “cult” of your own.” Johnny says, looking at me innocently. Before I can protest, the doorbell rings, letting us know of new customers.

 

“Binnie! Arin!” Johnny calls out, a smooth smile on his face as a group of girls flit into the store. There are squeals and calls of “Johnny-Oppa!” and “Taeyongie!” as they make their way closer to the counter. Taeyong puts a hand on my shoulder with a sigh and looks me in the eyes.

“Sometimes you just have to let go of your dignity, kid.” I nod slowly in confusion as Taeyong breathes in and exhales. He turns to the girls with a bright smile and I see some of them swooning already. Hyojong looks like he’s about to explode from laughing but the girls don’t seem to acknowledge him. I watch as the girls giggle at Johnny and Taeyong as they start bickering again about something, but one of the girls spot me and they start muttering to themselves seriously. There is something pretty nerve-wracking about being judged and analyzed on the spot, and I’m starting to seriously admire Taeyong for this.

“Taeyongie, who’s that?” One of the girls with long brown hair asks in a soft voice. She seems to be the leader of the group, standing in front of all of them. I feel my heart racing from nervousness. Taeyong puts an arm around my shoulder, which was easy because he was pretty tall.

“Good question, Hyojung! This is our newest part-timer, Hwitaek. He’s a very sweet guy, but don’t overwhelm him, ladies.” The girls giggle again as Taeyong introduces me. I see a few of them mumble to each other, and this time, Johnny changes the topic.

“Looking for anything new to listen to, ladies?” Johnny gives the same sweet smile to them, and about half of them swoon. They split up systematically, half with Taeyong and half with Johnny. I hang around Taeyong and mostly just observe him talking to the girls. He talks about the latest store inventory and the reshelving system here, but with the way the girls look at him, you would think he was talking about curing cancer or space travel. Then again, I did understand. Taeyong is quite handsome, with a smile that could clear the skies and a jawline that you could probably use to cut through a wall. I glance at Hyojong, who was wearing black headphones and listening to something. I rather listen to whatever he was listening to instead of Taeyong droning on about how his house rent has gone up. 

 

After half an hour and a few purchases, the girls leave the store. Taeyong sighs a loud sigh of relief. I could tell that this was probably emotionally taxing for him, having to keep up a smile for half an hour. Hyojong left at some point and returned with a bag of chips, which we were all sharing. Jaehyun also came out of the back room soon after the girls left, and he seems quite content eating chips along with us. I also see Jaehyun’s hand brush against Taeyong’s, and their fingers interlace beneath our vision. I turn away to Hyojong, who was tapping at something on his phone again. Johnny is talking about a new pickup line he thought of today, when the door opens again, signaling the arrival of someone new. Johnny looks over to the door and pauses mid-sentence.

“Miss me?” A handsome stranger breezes through the door, smirking at Johnny. He walks over to the counter, standing in front of Johnny. Johnny laughs and props his head up with his hand. I see Hyojong and Jaehyun snickering behind Johnny, but Taeyong just looks unamused.

“Wow, someone’s early to work for once,” Johnny says, picking another chip from the bag on the counter and placing it in his mouth. The corner of Taeyong’s mouth twitches like he’s about to smile, but he forces it down sternly. 

“Only for you, sweetheart.” The guy pecks Johnny on the lips and I see a faint blush on Johnny’s cheeks. I look away out of habit and see Hyojong miming a puking action. Jaehyun laughs and Taeyong coughs, separating them. The guy leaps over the counter next to me and looks at me quizzically. 

“And who’re you, cutie?” He asks, glancing at my name tag. I blush in embarrassment and in the corner of my eye, I see Hyojong flinch. Taeyong steps in and introduces me.

“This is Hwitaek, our new part timer. Hwitaek, this is Ten. He’s basically a second Johnny, so I would stay away from him. Speaking of which, get your apron on, Ten. Jaehyun and Johnny, take Hwitaek into the back and debrief him.” Jaehyun nods and Johnny rolls his eyes. I follow Jaehyun into the store room as Johnny and Ten follow behind us. 

Jaehyun informs me my shift has ended and instructs me to leave the apron folded on the table. Johnny and Ten start making out in the background and I try not to look at them, or puke. Jaehyun doesn’t seem fazed at all, probably because this is not the first occurrence. Jaehyun shows me to the door, tells me to sign out on the card hanging next to the door that I didn’t see before. I scribble my name and the time down, giving Jaehyun a wave before leaving through the door. Taeyong smiles at me from the cash register, and I smile back as I pass through the doorway. 

 

I feel the cool air blow past me the moment I step outside the store. It is almost dusk already, the sky is starting to change into a purple color. I hear a cough next to me, and I turn to see Hyojong leaning on a wall next to the store. He smirks when he sees me.

“I knew you were a music nerd, but working here is a bit extreme isn’t it?” Hyojong says, coming closer. I chuckle for a moment and cross my arms. I didn’t expect him to stay for the whole duration of the shift, or for him to have come at all. It seemed like he came here in his spare time, to browse or talk to the workers.

“I didn’t know you were such a fan of Johnny-oppa.” I tease him back with sarcasm, and he pretends to be taken aback.

“How dare you insult my Johnny-oppa!” Hyojong mocks in falsetto, mimicking a crazed fangirl. We collapse into giggles for a moment, and I can feel my cheeks flush, although not of embarrassment. A moment passes and we lapse into a comfortable silence.   
Hyojong glances at his phone and shoves it in his pocket.

“I have to go. See you around.” Hyojong waves and saunters off before I can say another word. I watch his silhouette disappear into the streets, standing in my spot for a while. It feels like whenever I get closer to Hyojong, he pulls away from me. 

 

I close the main door behind me as I kick off my shoes. Hyunggu is lounging on the couch, watching another rom-com with a bowl of popcorn next to him. He looks up when I plop down on the couch next to him. He grins at me. 

“Where have you been all day? On a date?” Hyunggu’s grin morphs into a smirk. I shake my head as I scoop a handful of popcorn into my mouth. 

“No… The opposite, actually. I was at work.” I say proudly, and Hyunggu raises an eyebrow before realizing I was serious and laughs his butt off. I roll my eyes. Hyunggu finds almost everything hilarious. I get up, taking my bag inside my room and taking off my jacket before walking back to the living room.

“Don’t- Don’t tell me you were working on that- music store or whatever,” Hyunggu wipes a tear from his eye, shaking from laughter. Was it that funny? I choose not to answer his question because if I do, more laughter will come. 

“Don’t you have work to do?” I ask instead, walking into the kitchen and rummaging through the cupboards. I take out some vegetables to prepare for dinner. Hyunggu groans from the living room.

“I’ll do it later,” Hyunggu says in an unconvincing tone. I sigh to myself and continue to start chopping vegetables for my mother to cook when she came home. There is still about half an hour before she comes back, and nobody knows when my dad will come back. I’ll make Hyunggu do his homework after dinner.

The door jiggles and unlocks with a click. I peer out of the kitchen to see who it is, and surprisingly, it was my father. He closes the door behind him, jacket and briefcase in hand. Hyunggu grunts to him in greeting, and he grunts in return. I greet him politely and 

He stumbles to his room, not in a drunken stupor, but in a nervous way. I look closer and he seems to be sweating, sweat stains on the back of his button up shirt. I go back to chopping my vegetables as my father locks himself in the bathroom. At this point, I’m so used to his antics that I can’t bring myself to care. I chop the rest of the vegetables harder than I had to, and I can see Hyunggu sitting up to watch TV, no longer in his relaxed position.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI IM SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE! I'VE BEEN SWAMPED WITH SCHOOLWORK SO THIS CHAPTER IS SLIGHTLY SHORTER THAN USUAL, I WAS PLANNING TO HAVE AN EXTRA LONG CHAPTER INCLUDING WHAT HAPPENS ON SUNDAY BUT THAT WOULD BE TOO LONG AND I WANTED TO GET THIS OUT FIRST SO HERE YALL GO 
> 
> i accidentally introduced like 5 new characters to people who arent nct fans but like if ur an nct fan this was probably great for u lmao im low key an nct fan thanks to @youngjaehyuns ;) thanks bro
> 
> s/o to tiff (one of my irls) if u reading this ;)
> 
> ps: don't forget to leave a comment/kudos/bookmark if u liked this chapter (it would really make myself feel better (jk)) i would love to hear feedback!!
> 
> love yall bless


	7. Chapter 7

I rummage through my bag to make sure I have everything I need again. I have my phone, my water bottle, my wallet, my charger and a mini umbrella. I rush outside my room, waving goodbye to Hyunggu who is once again, lazing on the couch, and burst out the door. I am going to be late if I don't catch the next bus. I jog to the bus stop conveniently at the end of my street and stand by, waiting. I check my phone and see a text from Yanan saying that he was going to be a bit late, but Changgu is already there. The bus arrives as I text a reply, and I board it quietly. I pick a spot next to the window and watch the cityscape go by as the bus speeds its way to the park near downtown. 

 

The bus zooms away behind me as I get off. The park looks transformed, its large open space filled with carnival booths and stalls. Music is blasting from game booths and smells of delicious food breeze to where I am. People stroll past me as they go in, screams and chatter ringing in my ears. 

I scan the area looking for Changgu, and I spot him leaning on a tree, looking at his phone. He's wearing a shirt with a black logo and jeans with black sneakers. I make my way over to where he is, cautiously. I haven't spoken to Changgu in a long long time, so I’m positive that he doesn't remember me. 

“Hey… I'm Hwitaek, Yanan’s friend.” I call out, bringing a smile on my face. He looks up and gives me a friendly smile. I see him look at me and his eyes flicker in recognition. 

“Hey! Yeah, Yanan told me you were coming. You and I, we haven't talked in like, a year or two? How are you doing, man?” Changgu shoves his phone into his pocket and starts talking to me as if I was his best friend. I can see why people seemed to like him so much, he is a pretty nice guy. 

“Yeah. I'm not up to much these days, how are you?” I respond politely, and Changgu seems to light up even more. He starts talking about his dog and part-time job at a pet store, which led to a rather one-sided discussion about school and work. 

I am content to listen to Changgu talk about his life, but I feel relieved anyway when Yanan arrives. There was only so long I can listen to him talk about methods of cleaning dog poop. Did the guy ever stop talking? Changgu seems to smile even wider when he sees Yanan, and I remember what Yanan said about Changgu having a crush on him. It’s hard to tell if he did because he seems to always be smiling.

“Hey Yanan, you’re finally here! Let’s go inside!” Changgu says excitedly, and in that moment he reminds me of a delighted smile. He grabs Yanan’s wrist and tugs him, and I watch them curiously. Yanan smiles back at him but doesn’t move, gently pulling Changgu off of him.

“No, Changgu, we’re still waiting for your friend,” Yanan says, looking back at me and patting me on the back with a knowing smile. Changgu makes the connection and exchanges a beam with Yanan. He even winks at me for a moment. Knowing them, they’re probably trying to set me up with one of Changgu’s female friends.

“Ohhhh, right. Oh, there’s my friend!” Changgu calls out to someone behind me, and I whip around to see an all too familiar mop of brown hair. I throw my head back and sigh. How many times can I bump into Hyojong on a weekend?

 

“Changgu! When you said someone was coming along, I thought you were gonna hook me up with one of Elkie’s hot friends.” Hyojong complains to Changgu, while I glare at Yanan. Yanan shrugs at me with a sheepish smile, while Changgu laughs and slings his arm around Hyojong.

“Don’t be rude, you’re the one who overslept and was late! Besides, I never said anything, you just assumed things. Who said Hwitaek isn’t one of Elkie’s hot friends?” Changgu winks at me and Yanan slaps a hand over his mouth to hide his smile. I feel my cheeks redden. Changgu is shameless, isn’t he? Hyojong looks me up and down with a sharklike grin, one that echoed Johnny’s. He shrugs off Changgu’s arm and moves closer to me.

“Hey!” I wince as Hyojong puts his arm around my shoulder. Yanan shoots me a smirk from Changgu’s right. Changgu wears a proud smile as Hyojong turns to me.

“Why don’t we leave the two lovebirds in front of us alone, Elkie’s hot friend? Come on, let’s go to the fair, I’ll treat you.” Hyojong laughs as Yanan and Changgu fluster. Hyojong moves his arm down to grab my wrist and drags me away, as Changgu chases us into the crowd, yelling about how he’s going to get him back later. My heart races when we run, as the sound of Hyojong’s laughter, fills up my ears. He seems like he’s in a good mood today.

I make it through the gate where I pay for my own ticket, and see Hyojong waiting for me on the other side. He smiles a little, which I return. I turn around to wait for Changgu and Yanan, who burst through the gate, laughing at each other. Jeez, they look like they’re a couple already. I spy a flush on both of their faces, and it looks like Changgu’s crush isn’t one-sided after all.

“Should we eat lunch before we visit the attractions?” Changgu asks us in a cheerful voice. Yanan and I nod, and I see Hyojong roll his eyes impatiently. 

“Okay, okay, let’s go get food now then!” Hyojong says, dragging me off again to the sounds of grills sizzling and food cooking. I don’t bother trying to protest and let him drag me by the wrist, looking back to see Changgu and Yanan trailing behind us and snickering. 

 

A short while later, the four of us are sat on a wooden bench and table in the crowded shade. People and families are chatting away while eating, and I hear a baby crying a few tables down from us. It's a good thing that the fair is set up during winter and not summer, or we would be sweltering in the heat instead of not sweltering in the heat. I am sitting with Yanan, who is taking delicate bites of his burger, while Hyojong and Changgu seem to be competition get to see who can eat the fastest and messiest. So far, Changgu is winning. 

“Haha! Brow meh… Hyojung!” Changgu says, muffled from stuffing the last piece of his burger in his face. He looks proud, with ranch sauce all over his face and Hyojong looking defeated in front of me. I see Yanan wince and grab a tissue from the center of the table, handing it to Changgu. 

“You guys eat so messily,” Yanan says, taking the wrapper Changgu placed on the table carelessly and folding it in half. Hyojong rolls his eyes as he finishes his burger, barbecue sauce on his lips. 

“It's not about how you eat it, it's about beating Hyojong,” Changgu argues as he wipes away the ranch sauce from his own lips. I take a few bites, watching to see what happens. I rather not get involved if I don't have to. Hyojong nods in agreement, folding up his wrapper and chewing his last bite. Yanan and Changgu start bickering about how to eat burgers, with Yanan arguing that normal people eat in a civil way. 

I reach out to grab a tissue from the stack to hand to Hyojong, but he reaches out at the same time I do. Our fingers brush, and I feel something tingle in me. Stupid static, probably. He pulls away, looking up at me while Yanan and Changgu argue next to us. Hyojong starts chuckling, fringe falling into his face. 

“You have sauce on your chin.” He smirks. I blink at him. He grabs a tissue and wipes it off of me. I wasn't usually a messy eater, at least not when compared to Hyojong, who has sauce almost everywhere. I feel my cheeks redden with embarrassed at being treated like a baby.

“S-So do you.” I manage to reply, grabbing a tissue and throwing it at his face. He grabs it, looking vaguely disappointed as he scrubs at his face. I turn to Yanan and Changgu, who are staring at me with stunned expressions on their faces. Changgu slurps at his drink, still watching Hyojong and me with wide eyes. What are they so surprised about? I turn my head to the side for a moment, and Hyojong coughs when the silence starts to suffocate us. 

“Let’s go if you two are done arguing.” He says a smirk resurfaced on his face like it never disappeared. Yanan stands up a bit abruptly, grabbing our trash and walking over to the trash can. Hyojong follows, stuffing his drink in the trash. However, Changgu grabs his drink and walks with me as we follow Hyojong and Yanan. 

“You’re pretty cool, Hwitaek. Why don’t you come sit with us at lunch tomorrow?” Changgu says, then takes a sip of his drink. We walk to the attractions, a roller coaster full of screaming people next to us. I hear Hyojong and Yanan walking and discussing what we should do next. 

“Uh, sure,” I say absentmindedly, and nearly crash into Yanan’s back when he stops. Changgu stops in his tracks as well in order to not crash into Hyojong, drink seconds away from being spilled but still safely in his hand. Yanan looks pale, but Hyojong looks excited.

“Why don’t we ride the rollercoaster?” Hyojong chirps, slapping a hand on Changgu’s back. Changgu looks content, looking at the roller coaster. Yanan’s eyes widen for a moment.

“Eh… I rather not.” I say, looking up at the top of the roller coaster. There is a group of people screeching along the ride. I clutch my stomach. Yanan moves closer to me, and I can see him looking a bit green, in addition to being pale. 

“...Yeah.” Yanan mumbles, standing next to me and looking at the ground. He seems scared of the roller coaster. I look back at Hyojong and Changgu, who are whispering to each other. My guess is that Hyojong is helping Changgu spend some alone time with Yanan. I turn to Yanan, who looks at me with a quizzical expression.

“I think Changgu likes you, dude. I think he’s trying to be alone with you if you get what I mean.” I whisper in his ear. Yanan blushes lightly, but not too noticeably. 

“That wouldn’t be too bad… I guess.” Yanan says, a small smile spreading on his face. I look at him in part shock and part amusement. Changgu nods as Hyojong talks, and they pull apart after a moment. I turn my expression back to neutral.

“Um, I don’t really feel like going either. Wow, looks like you’re on your own, Hyojong.” Changgu says stiffly, obviously coached by Hyojong. Yanan looks relieved, and I hear him sigh quietly. Hyojong gives me a look, and he bumbles over, whispering something in my ear.

“You’re going on the roller coaster with me and that’s final.” He murmurs in my ear, then pulls away with a cheesy grin, putting an arm around me.

“Hey Hwitaek, don’t you want to ride the roller coaster with me?” Hyojong asks sweetly, deliberately putting a show for Changgu and Yanan. I glance at them and notice they’re snickering.

“Sure.” I roll my eyes for extra effect and Yanan giggles. Hyojong gives me a smirk, dropping his arm back to his side.

“Alright, we’ll meet back here later or something.” With that, Hyojong whisks me off to the line for the roller coaster, which is actually really short. I roll my eyes again, but the next train car comes before I can say anything. I get on the roller coaster, strapped in next to Hyojong. He seems content, happy, even. I’m not a big fan of roller coasters, but for Yanan’s sake, I’ll stomach it.

 

The ride starts, and I feel my stomach fluttering as we reach the top. It doesn’t help that Hyojong shoots me a grin before we drop and I feel my stomach quiver. I shut my eyes and grip onto the safety rails for my life as Hyojong shouts gleefully into the wind. He shakes me out of my stupor when we have to get out, my body still trembling. 

 

“That was pretty fun!” Hyojong says, stretching his arms out to the sky. He reminds me of some sort of cat. I feel a bit nauseous, trailing behind Hyojong. He turns to look at me because I don't reply. I cough and manage to hold in my urge to puke. 

“Can we never ride a roller coaster again?” I mumble and clutch my stomach. He stares at me for a moment before nodding in understanding. 

“Sure, sure. Hey! Look at those cute headbands!” He dances over to a nearby vendor selling headbands. I follow him, and I feel my stomach going back to normal slowly. Hyojong puts on a black headband with a little dog plush sat in the center. He turns to me with a gummy smile. 

“Don’t I look cute with this on, oppa?” Hyojong says in a falsetto tone, pretending to be one of those younger girls who love calling their boyfriends Pappas. I snort and look at some of the other headbands. I find a red one with a little cat plush, and I try it on, glancing in the mirror. I see Hyojong grinning behind me.

“Let’s get these matching ones!” I can’t help but laugh at Hyojong’s silly idea, but I agree anyway. The cashier beams as we pay separately for our headbands.

“Aren’t you two just adorable together?” The cashier says as she hands Hyojong his change. My cheeks flush, but Hyojong merely smiles and wishes her a good day. We walk away from the vendor, ridiculous headbands on our heads.

 

“Hwitaek, check it out! There’s practically nobody at the Ferris wheel!” Hyojong says, pointing at the Ferris wheel a few meters ahead. There are only a few couples lining up to go on. Hyojong looks at me expectantly like a puppy.

“Wait, what about Changgu and Yanan?” I sputter, remembering about Yanan. I hope he’s doing alright being alone with Changgu. Hyojong shrugs.

“They’re probably making out somewhere. Come on, you know how hard it’ll be to get on the Ferris wheel later.” Hyojong grabs my wrist again and starts dragging me to the Ferris wheel. I don’t even resist at this point, totally not because I secretly want to go. 

 

The man in charge of the wheel barely looks at us as a cabin lands on the ground and he lets out the giggling couple who were inside. He motions to us to get in the cabin expressionlessly, and Hyojong strides forward and hops in. I follow slightly reluctantly. The guy slams the door and we start going upwards. I sit across from Hyojong, who’s looking out of the glass windows around us. I peek out the windows to see the rest of the fair booths spread out beneath us. The trees and concrete jungle of our town become more visible, and I can even see another city in the distance. 

Then I make the mistake of looking straight down. The ground suddenly feels way too far, my legs start shaking and I can feel a familiar mix of nausea and terror. I turn away from the window, grabbing my shirt in a weak attempt to calm myself down. 

“Hwitaek?” He stands up and tries to sit down next to me, but the cabin starts swaying instead. I curl up into a ball and let out an involuntary whimper. The Ferris wheel is still moving, the ground getting further away from me and my breathing speeds up. He sits back down to stop the cabin from swinging, slowly taking hold of one of my hands as I shut my eyes.

“It’s okay,” Hyojong says in a hushed tone, rubbing his thumb in my palm in a cliché attempt to calm me down. As much I’d hate to admit it, it is kind of working. I focus on breathing slowly, relaxing back to a sitting position. I open my eyes again and the first thing I see is Hyojong staring at me with concern written on his face. My face heats in embarrassment for what seems like the fifth time today, and I turn away.

“I… I’m okay,” I say to try and convince myself, my voice shaky. The Ferris wheel decides to stop at that moment, suspending us in mid-air. An uncontrolled mewl escaped from my mouth and I bite my lips, a flush returning to my face. Hyojong’s face doesn't change, and he continues to rub my hand. His fingers are calloused, probably from playing the guitar, but his hand is warm as it wraps against mine. 

I control my breathing again with a sigh. This is probably the most embarrassing thing that can happen to me today, having a panic attack in a Ferris wheel with Hyojong. I see him flick his fringe out of his face and clear his throat. 

“Are… you feeling better?” Hyojong asks softly, the gentlest I’ve seen him. I would never have imagined him being so soft and gentle with anyone. 

“Ah, yeah.” I manage to answer and look back at him properly. I can see he’s curious but he doesn't want to pry. 

“I, uh, have a fear of heights.” I stammer, and Hyojong looks up to meet my eyes. He nods slowly as if encouraging me to go on. 

“It started after a childhood game gone wrong. Some older kids beat me up and stuck me in a tree. I was sobbing for ages, but Hyunggu and Jinho managed to coax me down somehow. It seems like forever ago, honestly, but I guess I owe it to Hyunggu and Jinho for saving me.” I retell the story, hoping it wasn't too long of a spiel. Hyojong nods in understanding and leans back on his seat. Nobody knew this story except for my parents, Hyunggu and Jinho, not even Hongseok. The seats seem to get closer, and our knees barely brush against each other. I try not to think about it. 

“Sorry for making you get on this,” Hyojong says with a small sheepish smile. I smile back, shaking my head. The Ferris wheel starts moving again after what felt like an eternity. 

“It's fine, I wanted to check out the view anyway,” I say as I look out the window into the distance. I could see almost the whole town from up here, and as long as I don't stare too hard at the ground, I’m not going to be scared. 

“Hwitaek honey, I know you love me, but can you not squeeze too hard?” Hyojong says in a playful tone, and I look down to see our hands are still interlocked. 

“Sorry!” I apologize as I blush. I see Hyojong smirk as I pull my hand away gently. Our cabin reaches the ground, and we exit smoothly, although I'm still a bit quivery. Maybe because the cabin was way too small and Hyojong was basically breathing on me.

 

“I’m sick of the arcade games. I swear they’re rigged!” Hyojong says, walking leisurely next to me. He barely spent anything on the arcade games, but I rather not bicker with him. I rack my brains for something to do when we reach the food stalls again. 

“How about let’s grab something to eat?” I say as I look around to see what was available. My appetite was ruined earlier with Changgu and Hyojong’s eating contest. I wince as I think about it. 

“Sure.” Hyojong is already distracted by the smells of various different fair foods and cuisines. I spot a fair food booth that was emitting a greasy smell. I nudge Hyojong, who’s staring at a menu for Chinese food, and he looks up to the fair food booth. I watch him scan the list of food before turning to me. 

“I want a funnel cake.” He whispers, and I furrow my brows. I look back at the menu before seeing it listed under corn dogs. 

“What's that?” I mumble, looking around to see if anyone was eating it. I have never heard of it before.

“You seriously don't know what it is?” Hyojong asks in disbelief and turns to me. I shake my head in confusion and he smiles. He jogs up to the cashier and buys a funnel cake. 

To my dismay, it is not actually a cake. It looks like a pile of fried grease covered in sugar. Hyojong licks his lips and I force my attention back to the funnel cake. Hyojong grabs one of the two forks and starts stabbing it and shoving it in his mouth. I grimace as I look at the funnel cake, caked in sugar. Hyojong nods at me, handing me the plate. 

I stab my fork into it, cutting off a piece and putting it in my mouth hesitantly. I chew it, feeling its warm but sugary fried texture. It tastes like doughnuts covered in sugar. In other words, it basically tastes like a bunch of junk food sprinkled with more junk food. Somehow, I could tell this is the type of food Changgu and Hyojong would eat messily, although I’d admit that it isn’t horrible.

“Let’s walk around and try to find the two lovebirds while we’re at it. I won’t gain weight if I walk and eat at the same time, right?” Hyojong snatches the plate again, taking another bite of the funnel cake. Obviously, digestion did not work that way. However, I’m too tired to correct him, so I follow him as we make our way to the sides of the fair, behind the booths.

Behind the fair laid a world of silence and trees, away from the crowd and people. The winter sun is starting to set already, casting a romantic shade of purple on the sky. Hyojong and I walk slowly, Hyojong stuffing his face with the funnel cake. I hear a ruffle in near the trees nearby and nudge Hyojong. He swallows his last bite of the funnel cake and moves towards the noise fearlessly. I follow him reluctantly, our footsteps quiet on the grass. Hyojong pauses and grabs my wrist again, pulling me to his left and dragging me to see what was behind the tree.

 

For the second time this week, I walk into two people making out. In this case, it’s Changgu and Yanan. I immediately shield my eyes from the sight of Yanan grinding and making out with Changgu against a tree. How are all my friends gay and in a relationship? Hyojong starts laughing hysterically, while I imagine Yanan blushes very noticeably. 

“H-Hyojong- Hwitaek- It’s not what you think!” Changgu exclaims, and I open my eyes to see both Changgu and Yanan blushing and standing apart. Hyojong calms down from laughing, wiping a tear away from his eye. I look at Yanan, who is averting our gazes and staring at the floor.

“We totally called it, right, Hwitaek?” Hyojong smirks at Changgu, who desperately fumbles for an excuse, but gives up. Hyojong slaps a hand on Changgu’s back, still chuckling. I place a hand on Yanan’s shoulder to comfort him, and he looks up at me with a shy smile.

“Your secret is safe with us,” I say to them reassuringly, looking back at Changgu. He seems more relieved when I say that, but Hyojong pouts as he drops his hand from Changgu’s back. I do the same with my other arm, dropping it back to my sides.

“I was going to make Changgu buy me snacks tomorrow. God, Hwitaek, you’re no fun.” Hyojong says, and I snort at his joke. I see Yanan nudge Changgu, and they start snickering. Hyojong looks at them curiously.

“Not if I blackmail you two first!” Changgu grins, pointing to the space between Hyojong and me, and our heads. Hyojong is still gripping my wrist and wearing the matching headband. He looks at me and smirks, releasing my wrist only to grab my hand.

“Oh yes, Changgu! Hwitaek-oppa and I are totally dating!” Hyojong squeals in a shrill voice. I feel my heart pound, but I play along. Yanan looks amused, his blush already fading. Changgu’s eyes are wide like pies, to the point that I’m afraid they’ll pop. He does seem like the gullible type.

“Oh, Hyojongie, you’re the cutest!” I say in a low voice, pretending to be years older than I am. Hyojong bursts in laughter and his hands separates from mine as he moves to put his arm around Changgu. He seems to have caught onto the joke, laughing along. My hand feels a lot colder in the lonesome winter weather. I stuff it in my pocket and move towards Yanan.

“Time to go home!” Hyojong says, and we go back into the crowds, making our way to the exit. At the exit, I say goodbye to each of them. Yanan gives me a sweet smile and Changgu reminds me of his offer tomorrow. I promise to him that I’ll be there, and Hyojong gives me a grin, and tells me again we’ll see each other in Chemistry. I smile back weakly, and my bus home promptly arrives. I wave goodbye to them hastily and ride the bus back to my part of town.

 

I take off my headband souvenir in my room and look around to see where I can put it. My shelf is stuffed to the brim with pictures and figures, so I decide to place it on top of my piano for now. I smile fondly at my headband. I made great memories with Yanan, Changgu, and Hyojong today, and I hope to make much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS!!! I KNOW I KNOW, SORRY THIS TOOK LONGER THAN I EXPECTED! TuT (i was quite busy watching weightlifting fairy kim bok joo (which gave me major inspiration for this chapter and the rest of the story!) and pentagon videos uwu) ALSO TRIPLE H I LOVE TRIPLE H OH MY GOD MY WIG FUCKING SHOT OFF MY HEAD AND INTO THE SUN HYOJONG'S TATTOO IS MY FUCKING KINK AND HWITAEK WITH FRECKLES IS KJASLKDJS;KLS HYUNA IS THE BOMB.FUCKING COM ILOVE TRIPLE H FIGHT ME
> 
> also im not sure if i wrote the panic attack scene on the ferris wheel correctly;;; please correct me in the comments, i dont mean to offend anyone and im just trying to explore hwitaek's character and my writing;;
> 
> im going to make some amendments to earlier chapters because i think i cut off some bits in the past two chapters that i'll fix in the next two days!
> 
> since im on easter/spring break rn, i think i can churn out another chapter before it ends! im so glad you guys enjoy my fic so much and leave comments and stuff and that makes me super happy :3 my dream is to have 1k hits one day but thats gonna be quite a long time away TuT i wish i could update you guys on my update statuses or something on ao3 but i guess ill leave my social media here!
> 
> instagram: @pentacrazy (hmu w a dm!)  
> tumblr: @marciee (i dont use this a lot but u can stalk me if u want to lol)  
> twitter: im planning to make one tmr with the handle @pentacrazy so check if its there tmr!
> 
> s/o if u came here from my instagram (whats up ally!! and hi franzi ;)) and to my loveliest official unofficial beta @youngjaehyuns (ily bro)
> 
> as always, leave a comment/kudos/bookmark if you enjoyed this and have a lovely day/night!!! il y'all<3


	8. Chapter 8

I wake up to the sound of my alarm and fulfill my morning routine in a daze. Just as I get dressed for school, I realize Hyunggu is still asleep. I glance at the clock. If he wakes up now, he's going to be late. 

I open the door to Hyunggu’s room, buttoning up my jacket. Hyunggu turns on his bed and coughs. He’s usually an early bird, so this is unusual. I climb onto his bed and pull down his covers. His hair is messy, his cheeks flushed although it’s winter right now, and the band tee he wears to sleep is wrinkled. 

“Hyunggu, wake up!” I jostle him a bit, and he groans in response, trying to shove me off. 

“I'm,” Hyunggu coughs in the middle of his sentence before continuing, “Sick.” I brush my hand against his forehead. Sure enough, it’s warm to the touch.

I make sure that Hyunggu isn't trying to play hooky (to which he responds with a groan), before calling in sick for him and grabbing my bag. I made a mental note to buy soup after school, kiss Hyunggu on the forehead and burst out the door to catch the bus. 

 

I stare at them in the library. Jinho and Hongseok are making lovey faces at each other again, and I'm reconsidering my choice in friends. I take out my phone to text my mom and let her know I called in sick for Hyunggu already, before turning it off and looking up again to see Jinho and Hongseok full on kissing. I wince and stuff my face into my hands. 

“God, I’m so single,” I mumble and they pull apart. They both look at me with a mixture of embarrassment and concern. I sit back up properly, trying to avert their gazes. I didn’t expect them to hear me.

“Are you alright?” Jinho asks, reaching across the table to pat my forearm. Hongseok looks concerned as well, leaning forward on the table. I suddenly feel guilty for being whiny and interrupting them.

“It’s… Nothing. I’ve just been surrounded by couples lately, and it makes me feel… lonelier.” I say in a quiet tone. It’s not just seeing Jinho and Hongseok, but it’s also Changgu and Yanan, and even the guys at the store. Actually, it’s a bit scary how many of my friends are in relationships, considering that all of them are also guys. I look up to see Jinho and Hongseok exchanging concerned looks. 

“I’m sorry that you have to go through this… Hongseokkie and I don’t have many friends and we don’t want to lose you either.” Jinho says in a remorseful tone, and I feel ten times guiltier than before. I didn’t want to ruin their relationship or anything. Hongseok nods along.

“Yeah… I’m sure you’ll find someone. I can introduce you to a few of my female classmates. Or male classmates.” Hongseok suggests, winking at the last part. I grimace. Blind dates only work out in movies and books, not in real life. 

“I’m lonely, not desperate,” I reply, earning giggles from both of them. I decide not to mention my singleness again for now because although the sappy looks Jinho and Hongseok exchange are gross, they’re also somewhat heartwarming. I’d hate for anything to happen to them or their relationship.

“Changgu wants me to eat lunch with him and his friends. See, I have friends.” I say, trying to change the topic. Jinho and Hongseok look at me incredulously. Jinho’s jaw drops open.

“That’s… Random,” Hongseok sputters, and I can see them wondering how the debatably most popular boy in school became friends with me to the point of inviting me to eat- no, dine, at their prestigious table. Jinho’s eyebrows furrow, a habit of his when he’s thinking that I’ve picked up from hanging out with him ever since we could walk.

“I hung out with Yanan, Changgu, and Hyojong yesterday. They seemed to like me.” I say, secretly proud of the fact that I made a new friend in Changgu yesterday. Jinho and Hongseok exchange looks. They seem to be able to read each other’s minds, which actually isn’t a new thing. They’ve been doing that since day one.

“Well, go eat lunch with them. Just don’t get too attached to them, we’re still your best friends!” Jinho teases, and I laugh. Although the others are nice people, I’ve stuck with Jinho and Hongseok since forever, and I don’t plan on changing that.

 

I shuffle down the hallway after lunch starts, holding my math textbook in my arms. I had a few questions to ask my math teacher, so after waiting for the hallways to empty out of people going to the cafeteria or other places, I walk down the seemingly desolate corridor to find my math teacher. Lunch will have to wait until I’m done.

As I’m walking, I spot a rather tall guy standing in the middle of the hallway, squinting at a numbered plate next to a classroom door. I don’t think I’ve seen him before. He seems to be confused for looking for something and clutching a piece of paper in hand. I go over to him cautiously. I try to help out people when I can, and this guy doesn’t seem dangerous, although I’m not sure if I would call anyone at school dangerous.

“Hi… Are you looking for something?” I ask in a soft tone as I walk up to him. He turns to looks at me like a frightened deer, and I can see that he’s wearing a black graphic tee with a small man swinging a baseball bat. It’s something sporty Wooseok would wear. The thought of Wooseok wearing that shirt automatically makes me beam, and I try to force it down to a small smile, because how would you react to some random stranger going up to you and smiling like an idiot?

“Ah… Can you tell me where the guidance counselor’s office is, please?” The guy has a surprisingly deep voice, but it’s soft at the same time if that made sense. He looks a bit wary of me but then changes his expression back into a neutral one with a small polite smile. I have to look up to keep eye contact with him, that’s how tall he is. Based on the fact he is looking for the counselor, his height, and deep voice, I assume he’s a transfer student. Maybe a senior.

“Sure. The guidance counselor’s office is one floor up from here,” I turn around and point to the set of stairs on our left. “If you take these stairs, it should be... the second- no, third, room on your right. I think.” I spin back around to the guy to make sure he got it. He nods slowly and uncertainly. Although he seems to be at least 10 cm taller than me, there’s something about him that makes me want to protect him like a lost puppy. 

“Actually, I can take you there. I’m not very good at explaining things.” I offer. He nods again normally and looks a bit more relieved. He seems like the quiet type, a stark contrast from Wooseok and Hyunggu. I wonder what it’s like to have a quiet little brother because I cannot imagine either Wooseok or Hyunggu being quiet for more than a few minutes.

 

We walk up the stairs and chat a bit along the way. His name is Yuto Adachi, but he tells me to call him Yuto. His name feels familiar, although I can’t place where I’ve seen or heard it. I also learn that he is in fact, a transfer student from Japan. The only other transfer student I’ve ever known is Yanan. I wonder if they know each other, being transfer students at around the same time. He doesn’t talk much, so I do most of the talking for us and ask the occasional question. I hope I don’t sound like I’m prodding too much, but he seems content with answering my questions. He likes baseball and soccer, and I can see him being good friends with Hyunggu, even though he feels older than me.

We reach the door of the counselor’s office before I can tell him about Hyunggu, and he smiles at me, this time warmly and not just for politeness. I return the smile. I’m glad I made another friend. I’ve been making a lot of friends recently, maybe this is a sign from the gods or some destiny related thing. Maybe fate has just written me in a story where I just so happen to make a bunch of friends in a short time period to make my story more interesting. I’m overthinking this.

“Well then… Yuto-hyung… You should get going.” I say with a tone of finality. He blushes and stammers something in reply.

“Ah… I’m actually a sophomore.” Yuto says, a sheepish smile on his face. I look up at him in surprise, my eyes wide. I know I’m short, but Yuto is a giant, touching at least 180cm by the looks of it. Almost as tall as Wooseok. His voice is also probably twice as deep as mine. I didn’t expect him to be younger than me, but most people wouldn’t expect Jinho to be a junior either. 

“Wow. I’m a junior and I feel tiny next to you.” I say, looking from the floor and back up to him. He chuckles a bit softly. Despite Yuto being so tall, I feel some sort of need to protect him like I protect Hyunggu. Meanwhile, Jinho and I are clinging to the idea of one last miracle growth spurt before we graduate.

“I get that a lot. I should probably get going now, you have places to be too.” Yuto says, and I nod. I had to hurry to lunch now, I’ll save the math questions for tomorrow. I bid my goodbye and Yuto returns one, tacking on “Hwitaek-hyung” at the end. I smile, satisfied as Yuto disappears into the counselor’s office. 

 

I rush to the cafeteria, the hallways empty from people because everyone has somewhere to be. I walk into the cafeteria, and Changgu immediately waves me over. I walk over to their table attentively, because almost everyone in the room is staring at me like they were staring at Yanan a few weeks ago. The noise in the cafeteria temporarily quiets down, and immediately blows up again in volume after I sit down next to Shinwon, across from Yanan. 

Next to Yanan is Changgu, and next to Changgu is Hyojong, who looks up from his phone for a moment to acknowledge me, before going back to typing something. He seems distant today, or maybe it’s because he’s sitting so far away from me. Shinwon looks at me inquisitively, and Elkie, who’s sitting on his right, cranes her head to identify me and greet me with a recognizing smile.

“So, who’re you? I seem to be the only person here who doesn’t know you,” Shinwon pauses from eating to give me one of his infamous dashing smiles, and I can suddenly feel the jealousy of every Shinwon admirer blasting at me at maximum force. 

“I’m Lee Hwitaek of junior class 1,” I reply back to Shinwon’s question steadily. He seems satisfied with that answer and goes back to eating. Inside the inner circle’s bubble is actually quite quiet when everyone is eating. If you asked me two weeks ago, I would never have guessed, much less imagine, that I would be eating here, right next to Ko Shinwon in the flesh. 

Everyone is eating hot food either bought here or brought from home, except for Hyojong who is munching on a piece of bread. I take out my lunch, leftovers from yesterday’s dinner, and start eating. I think the only reason why Changgu isn’t filling the air with conversation is because he’s trying to fill his mouth with food. Yanan, however, is eating slowly, munching through every bite of rice. They seem like such opposites that I really wonder how they can stand each other. I’d have to ask them some other time though because we’re obviously in a public place. I think they’re keeping their relationship a secret for now, from what they said yesterday about keeping it a secret. I see them glance at each other when Shinwon isn’t looking, though. I see their pink faces when their hands brush against each other. I wonder what would happen if they became public with their relationship. Since they were already friends, it wouldn't be that big of a surprise, but there is the fact that they're gay. Our school community doesn't contain a large population of LGBTQA+ people, so I guess that would isolate them. It'll also be pretty tough to come out and explain to the parents. But it doesn't concern me, I'm not in their relationship, nor am I gay.

The moment Changgu finishes his food, he starts talking. He starts talking about his day at school, and Shinwon slips in the occasional snarky response. Hyojong is on his phone, Yanan listens contently and Elkie chats with her friends on the other side of the table. Other than sitting together, I don’t see Shinwon and Elkie interacting. They exchange a few looks but I don’t see them talking. Shinwon talks to Changgu instead about food and now they’re arguing about whether or not burgers are healthy.

“You can stick lettuce in them! That makes it healthy!” Shinwon says in a heated tone, but a smile spreads on his face. Yanan looks amused but doesn’t intervene. Hyojong looks up for a moment, deems the situation unworthy of his attention and goes back to whatever he’s doing on his phone. 

“Yeah, but do you know what those beef patties are made with? Probably not beef!” Changgu argues back, crossing his arms. He looks serious for a moment, but he ends up cracking a smile before going back to a serious expression. Shinwon looks around, then turns to me.

“Burgers are healthy right, Hwitaek? Come on, you know I’m right,” Shinwon says, nudging me with a smirk. I nod along unsurely. Changgu bursts in laughter and tells me to not be such a sheep. Then the conversation continues to soccer practice and the game soon. I tune it out, looking around the cafeteria instead. 

It’s the same old cafeteria, but it feels different somehow when I’m sitting here. It’s not the angle, but the atmosphere, in general, feels different. Yanan notices me looking around and touches my forearm with a smile and concern in his eyes, checking if I’m alright. I nod back with a smile. I shouldn’t concern Yanan. I turn back to the conversation Shinwon and Changgu are having. 

“Why don’t we go hang out in our spot a bit early?” Changgu asks in a quieter tone. Yanan nods, Hyojong shrugs, and Shinwon gives me a sideways glance. I’ve never actually thought about hanging out with them after eating. I usually spent my lunchtimes in the library on my phone or talking to Jinho and Hongseok. Everybody knows where Changgu and his friends disappear to during lunch, they run around and play soccer on the soccer pitch. They split it with the younger kids, like my brother and his friends. Maybe they played together. I’m not sure, I don’t spend my time watching them unlike the Shinwon and Changgu admirers. 

“Does this guy even play soccer?” Shinwon says, finishing the last bite of his meal. Changgu stares at him. Shinwon gives me a sideways glance.

“What?” Shinwon asks, pushing away his tray. Hyojong looks up, nudging Changgu who’s staring at Shiwon.

“Yeah, I play sometimes,” I respond, finishing my own food and putting it away. Shinwon nods approvingly. Changgu and Yanan turn to look at me in confusion, but they don’t say anything.

“I didn’t know you played,” Yanan says, looking amused. I shrug with a smile. I play with Hyunggu and Wooseok, but I didn’t really play competitively. I don’t think Yanan and Changgu are on the soccer team, I didn’t see them at practice last week. I vaguely remember Changgu is on the basketball team with Wooseok, but as far as I know, Yanan didn’t play any sports. Herds of girls went to cheer the basketball team on at games, even though they have a cheerleading team for a reason.

“Well, let’s go,” Changgu says with a new smile on his face and stands up, grabbing his tray. Shinwon and Yanan follows, so I do the same. We empty out our trays and I turn to get a glimpse of Jinho and Hongseok behind me. They are talking to each other, and Jinho gives me a nod when he sees me looking. I return the nod, then follow Changgu out to the soccer field. 

 

I walk into the grocery store and the bell chimes, alerting people of my arrival. I pick up a gray basket next to the door, scanning the store. It’s relatively full for a weekday afternoon, groups of people milling about. Schoolgirls down the magazine aisles, mothers, and fathers shopping for food and small kids looking for snacks. I make my way down the familiar aisles to the canned foods aisle. I locate the alphabet soup, placing it in my basket. That one is still Hyunggu’s favorite, one childhood habit he never grew out of. After a moment of staring at the cans, I take a chicken soup one as well for good measure. On the way to the cashier, I pick up some cold medicine and a fever pack. The medicine and fever pack shelves are bare, it’s flu season after all. I pay for my purchases and leave the store a bit colder than before.

 

Hyunggu is sleeping on the couch when I come back, a blanket hastily draped over him. I put down my groceries in the kitchen and start making the soup for Hyunggu. He hasn’t been sick for a while and now that I think about it, neither have I. I should be careful not to catch it from him. I’m about to start heating up the soup when the doorbell rings. I turn off the stove fire, making sure Hyunggu is still asleep and go to get the door.

“Hwitaek-hyung!” I open the door to see a distressed Wooseok, a bag of groceries in hand. I smile and let him in when I realize there’s someone behind him, covered by Wooseok’s tall figure. 

“Yuto-ah?” I ask, and Yuto just smiles lightly in response. I let him in as well. I didn’t know Wooseok and Yuto are friends, or that Yuto and Hyunggu are friends. I close the front door and follow them into the living room, where Wooseok is crouched over the sofa. He puts the back of his hand Hyunggu’s forehead, and I see Hyunggu’s face flush, though his eyes don’t move. Auto stands around behind Wooseok, looking concerned but also uncomfortable. I tell him to come into the kitchen and he follows obediently.

“Yuto-ah, I didn’t know you were friends with Hyunggu,” I say cheerfully, pouring out four cups of water and placing them on a tray. I wanted to know how Hyunggu and Yuto met because sometimes, I worry that Hyunggu relies too much on Wooseok. He has a few other friends, but nobody as close as Wooseok. I turn to look at Yuto, who shifts but tries to smile.

“Ah, when I first transferred here, I became friends with Wooseok,” Yuto says, looking down at the floor with fondness in his eyes. “Then he introduced me to Hyunggu.” Yuto looks back up at me, and I blink again.

“I see. Oh, that’s right. Although I probably don’t look like it, I’m Hyunggu’s brother.” Yuto’s eyes widen when I say that, but the rest of his face doesn’t change. I take the tray, and Yuto immediately leaps forward to take it for me, and I insist on taking it out to the living room, where Wooseok is sitting on the couch and talking to Hyunggu, whose eyes are open and focused on Wooseok.

“Hyunggu! You’re finally awake.” I say, and Hyunggu rolls his eyes at me, telling me to shut up in a raspy voice. Wooseok laughs and stands back up. I put down the tray on the coffee table, and Wooseok politely takes a cup of water. Hyunggu tries to reach for one, but Wooseok hands him his own cup and he smiles. 

“I’ll make you some soup. I bought alphabet soup, your favorite!” I sing and dodge Hyunggu as he tries to slap me. Wooseok offers to help and follows me into the kitchen. I turn to see Yuto staring at Wooseok before sitting down next to a stiff Hyunggu and talking, making conversation. 

Wooseok hands me the can of soup, and I start making it while chatting to Wooseok. He tells me that he was worried because Hyunggu didn’t show up to school or text him. He also brought Yuto along because the three of them were going to hang out today after school, but Yuto suggested to bring along some groceries. I open the bag to see that Wooseok bought a few of Hyunggu’s favorite candy, and put it on the kitchen counter gently. 

Wooseok has always been very sweet to Hyunggu. He stirs the soup while I stare at him idly. I remember him always coming by whenever Hyunggu missed school, bringing homework and candy. Jinho used to do the same, and vice versa, and now I’m starting to feel guilty about not going to check on Jinho after school when he was sick. 

“Hyung, the soup is ready!” Wooseok turns my attention back to the soup, which I pour out into a bowl. I bring it to the kitchen table, setting it down to cool and run to grab a spoon. A blanket wrapped Hyunggu shuffles over to the table, accompanied by Yuto and Wooseok, who sit with him at the table. I watch them from the corner for a moment. They seem happy to discuss what happened at school today, so I leave them be and go back to my room to practice. 

 

That night, I check on Hyunggu right before I go to sleep. I take his temperature again, making sure he’s able to go to school tomorrow. He groans and turns in his sleep, so I stick a fever pack on his forehead and return to my room. I wonder if he's dreaming about something. I cough, switching off the light in my room and climbing into bed. I lie in bed for a while, trying to sleep, except for an occasional cough or sneeze. I hope I'm not catching something from Hyunggu. 

 

I probably caught something from Hyunggu. I wake up the next morning in a daze. I can make out Hyunggu in front of me, trying to take my temperature. His lips move but I can barely hear anything because I’m falling back asleep. I feel groggy like the world was moving in slow motion and suddenly my head feels too heavy for my neck and I fall back down on my bed. My eyes shut themselves, a cough bursting through my throat. I feel Hyunggu touch my forehead, his hand as cold as ice. I twist away from his touch, so he wraps the covers around me and I snuggle in their warmth. I drift back into unconsciousness, a dream starting to form inside my head.

 

I find myself in an unfamiliar palace of stone and cobble, gray stretching from the floor to the ceiling. I follow the only color I see, a red carpet on the floor. I follow it to a set of large wooden doors, delicately carved from sturdy wood. I open them with surprisingly little force to find myself in a room bathed in sunlight. The red carpet stretches on, so I follow it. I turn to observe my surroundings when people start appearing in line next to the strip of carpet. Jinho, Hongseok, Yanan, Shinwon, Changgu, Hyunggu, Wooseok, and Yuto are all standing next to each other on both sides of the carpet, like soldiers guarding a treasure. They don’t seem to move or change their expressions, dressed in metal plates and costumes. I walk along the carpet slowly, taking in the details. I haven’t heard a single sound in this place, and it doesn’t seem like there will be any. 

I reach the end of the carpet with Changgu and Yanan and look up to see steps leading to a cliché looking throne, an intricately carved golden chair with plush red velvet cushions placed on top. I must be inside the throne room of the castle or something. I twist my head around to look around at my unmoving friends, but when I turn around, someone is sitting in the chair.

Hyojong occupies the throne, fancy fur lined robes stretching past the steps, silk with detailed designs displayed on his body. His golden blonde hair seems to be radiate sunlight and his crown adorned with colorful jewels, sparkling under the sun on his skull. On his ethereal visage lays a smirk, one that seems to beckon me. 

I feel my legs move without me telling them to, slowing climbing up the stairs over his robes. I’m right in front of Hyojong, who stands at his full height. He’s barely taller than me, but he moves his hands to my face, fingers caressing my jaw. I feel eerily calm, Hyojong’s smirk a source of tranquility, something familiar. He moves forward.

 

I wake up with a start by my bladder. I needed to relieve myself. By the time I manage to get out of bed and relieve myself and crawl back under the covers, I had forgotten what I dreamed about. I feel cold but hot at the same time, and I wonder how Hyunggu could stand being sick. I rarely got sick as a child, but when I did, it was usually for days. I hope I don’t miss too much school because I have exams soon. With that, I drift back to sleep, this time without a dream.

 

When I wake up again, Hyunggu is in my room, tapping at something on his phone. He looks up when I groan, handing me a cup of water. I chug it down, not realizing that my throat was this dry. Hyunggu hands me my phone as well, informing me that I have a few new texts and that he was going to make some soup for me. 

Jinho  
Tuesday, 3:45 pm:  
Hyunggu tells me you’re sick. Get plenty of rest and stay warm okay, Hwitaek? I’ll bring your homework around tomorrow if you’re not better by then. Hongseok says get well soon too.

How nice of Jinho to think of me. It makes me feel guiltier for not helping him out when he was sick. I sigh and reply anyway. 

Lee Hwitaek  
Tuesday, 4:00 pm  
Thanks, Jinho, tell Hongseok I said hi and thanks. Feel free to come over, but make sure you have a mask.

Lee Taeyong  
Tuesday, 3:50 pm:  
Hey, are you coming in for your shift today? Hyojong says you weren’t at school today.

Ah, I forgot about work today. I did say I was coming in for Tuesday’s shift, but I didn’t plan on getting sick.

Lee Hwitaek  
Tuesday, 4:02 pm  
Sorry, Taeyong. I got sick today and can’t come to this shift. I should be fine by Saturday, I’ll be on the shift then.

I nod to myself, checking for any mistakes before sending it and turning off my phone. It’s too bright for my eyes. Hyunggu returns with a bowl of soup that he’s holding very carefully. He helps me drink it without saying much. The chicken soup he heated up is a bit cold, but it tastes alright. Hyunggu seems to be deep in thought or in some sort of mood, but I don’t push it. We’re both tired, he’s probably still sleepy from being sick yesterday. Hyunggu leaves with the bowl and a smile, instructing me to notify him when I woke up again. He closes the door and I turn to my bedside table to see fever packs and a cup of refilled water. Hyunggu is really starting to become a good kid. 

I wake up again for dinner, my mother fretting over me and giving me congee to eat. My father asks me if I’m alright, which I reply to in a raspy voice. He seems nervous, drops of sweat beading down his face. He exchanges looks with my mother, who gives him a smile. I stomach a bit more congee before I return to my room, where I sleep until the next day. The sleep is surprisingly therapeutic, making all my worries melt away with dreams and fantasies. I wonder what I dream about because I almost never remember any of my dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for the super late update kjasdlsfjd;aks i try to keep each chapter 4-5k long, but that means each update will be leaning more to the 7 days waiting period u-u school has also started again and the past few days have been stressful,,, i barely got time to check social media, let alone write zzz im sorry again i love this fic like it's my child and i want to get to the ending as much as you dear readers want to!!   
> (unrelated side note: i watched 13 reasons why and i REALLY want to write an angsty huidawn au involving ghosts or something)
> 
> also also its my birthday if youre reading this on april 22nd!!!! woohoo!!!
> 
> s/o to: the BEST official unofficial beta out there @youngjaehyuns <3, my supportive irl tiff!!!, jenna, franzi and ally (three v sweet fans!!), the minho fan always lurking in the comments and everyone who came here through my social media!!
> 
> again, im on instagram and twitter as @pentacrazy! dont be a stranger my dude, ill always make time to chat!
> 
> be sure to leave a kudos/comment/bookmark if you enjoyed this chapter and remember ily and have a great day/night <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THE END NOTE FOR TWO SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS!!

I drift in and out of sleep for the rest of the night and the morning after. I dream of weird fantasy-like lives that seem to fade away the moment I wake up. I manage to get out of bed and wash myself at around 10, coughing the whole time. I check my messages while I'm at it, and from my empty inboxes, I’m not missing much. 

When I wake up again after eating some leftovers for lunch, I see Jinho and Hongseok sitting around in my room. They jump when I open my eyes weakly and sit up, rubbing my eyes. They’re both smiling at me and wearing hygiene masks, some advice I'm glad they followed. Jinho immediately pounces on me, touching my forehead and readjusting my covers. 

“Hongseok and I were worried for you! We know you haven't been sick in ages, so we came over to check on you!” Jinho says happily, and I interrupt the moment by coughing. He hands me a glass of water and I smile in response. Jinho still knows what I want before I even say a word. 

I down the water quickly, my dry thrust rejoicing at the hydration. I place the cup down again on my bedside table and Jinho grabs his bag from the floor. He pulls out a Tupperware box and a thermos and places it on my bed. I pick up the Tupperware box to inspect it as Hongseok scoots closer. 

“We made soup and fried rice. I came up with this recipe myself and Jinho loves it, so I made some for you. Get well soon, man.” Hongseok says, pointing to the warm Tupperware in my hands. 

I open it up, and instantly I can smell the egg and seaweed in the rice. It smells incredible, my mouth is drooling and I'm struggling not to eat it. Jinho hands me a plastic spoon gently with a chuckle and I dig in, not caring that Jinho and Hongseok probably think I'm crazy.

I finish the Tupperware within minutes, and Hongseok hands me a napkin with a smile. His smile is soft, almost motherly in a way. It might just be the fact that the only thing I've eaten today was cold leftovers, but I've never tasted fried rice better than Hongseok's. 

“This was amazing, Hongseok. I didn't know you could cook!” I say, closing the Tupperware. Hongseok blushed lightly at the compliment. 

“Where are your manners, Hwitaek? I’ll let it slide this time because you’re sick. Well, I cook for my mom and me sometimes. If you liked my fried rice that much, I'll make more for you some other time.” Hongseok says with a grin, and Jinho nods along. I sit up straight more eagerly, much more energized after Hongseok’s lunch. I glance at the clock. It's actually around 5. They must have come here after school. 

Jinho asks me about the last time I was sick, interrupting my train of thought, and we start talking about old memories together for a while. It wasn't bad, spending time with Jinho and Hongseok outside of school. To be honest, it felt like I haven't seen them in ages, with them going out all the time and me at the CD store. 

“Ah, you guys must have homework to get to. I'll let you guys get going then. It was awfully kind of you both to come by, and hopefully, I'll see you guys at school tomorrow.” I say, after talking to them for an hour. They nod in unison and stand up to leave. Hyunggu butts in as they leave, giving them a polite wave as they head out the door. 

Hyunggu walks over and plops on my bed, checking my temperature. He fluffs my pillow and sits on my bed, talking to me about his day. I nod along and smile, listening to him talk about his misadventures with Wooseok and Yuto. I think they're starting to be great friends. Hyunggu twiddles his thumbs when we fall into a silence as if he’s about to say something. To my dismay, he gets up instead and leaves my room.

I play games on my phone, an idol one that Jinho got me into a few weeks ago that I never really had time to play. Time passes quickly and I find myself bored again. I manage to get up and take a shower before I get cold again and huddle under my covers. I check my messages, finding a few from Jinho and Hongseok reminding me to take care of myself. Yanan asks how I am and wishes me well with Changgu. I linger on the inbox screen, staring at a contact I haven’t texted in a while. I’m not hoping he would show up with flowers and soup or anything, but maybe a text would be nice. In a huff of anger, I turn the phone off.

After a usual meal with Hyunggu and my parents, I end up in my room again with nothing to do. I end up tidying my room when I find a form for a district piano competition, hidden in the corner of my desk, that I vaguely remember signing up for it during the summer. I’ve been too busy to deal with it, but if I’m accepted, I should have an invitation to the competition soon. I warm up on the piano, practicing another song before I decide to head to bed early. I’m still feverish and coughing every few minutes, but hopefully, I can get to school tomorrow.

 

My mother decides that I shouldn’t go to school today, which leaves me very bored at home. I feel much less feverish, but I’m still nonstop coughing and sneezing, so I suppose my mother’s judgment is better than mine. I end up practicing scales on the piano and every song in every songbook I have until my fingers are numb, which I took as a sign to eat. I find some ramen, which I cook and eat quickly. 

I check the newspaper and read an interesting article about teenagers and gangs. It says teenagers, especially from low-income families, may choose to join a gang as a fast way to earn money, at a cost of being exposed to the underground crime and violence. It’s terrible. 

I walk around the house, cleaning each room because I don’t have much else to do. I leave my parents’ bedroom alone, and I head into the kitchen. I peer inside the cabinets and shelves to see if anything has to be thrown out or reorganized. Everything seems to be in order, so I leave them alone. I’m about to leave the kitchen and take a nap when I spot a cabinet near the door that seemed out of place.

I opened it to see it empty. That’s strange. All the liquor in the liquor cabinet is gone, even the expensive wines. I dash to the fridge and tug it open. The top shelf usually littered with beer, but today it was all gone. I open the trash can, inspecting it before closing it. All traces of alcohol in the apartment is gone. 

I stand in the living room. Well. That explains a lot. Maybe my father finally decided it was time to quit. My vision blurs, my head spins and I grab onto the couch arm. I feel water dripping down my cheeks but all I could do is stand there in shock. I don’t know why I’m crying, but I wipe my tears away. If he hasn’t told me or Hyunggu yet, then I’ll wait until he comes clean to us. I won’t rush him.

 

I wake up again on the couch, shaken up by Jinho. Hyunggu doesn’t seem to be home from the lack of ruckus and the TV is off, so Jinho must have let himself in with the spare key. He sighs softly and drags me back to my room, tucking me into my bed. It feels uncharacteristically motherly of him, but I’m not in a position to refuse, so I let him fret over me for a moment. He puts down his bag, takes out some homework and places it on my desk. I smile weakly at him, and he grabs a chair to sit with me.

He talks a bit about his day, and I don’t make many comments other than a cough, sneeze or a shake of my head. Jinho looks weary today. Maybe it’s because he’s without Hongseok, or something happened to him. I sit up, opening my mouth to ask, but a weak cough comes out instead. He looks at me with concern, rubbing my back as I cough a few more times. 

After I'm done coughing a lung up, Jinho and I settle in a comfortable silence. 

“Jinho… You seem down. You alright?” I ask, turning over to him. He looks away for a moment but turns back to me. I can tell he’s about to spill what happened from the look in his eyes. I put a hand on his shoulder in comfort as he starts speaking.

“Hwitaek… Hongseok got another one.” Jinho says tiredly. I’m puzzled for a moment before I realize what he meant. Hongseok got another love letter, probably. It hasn’t happened in a month or two, but this wasn’t unusual. I rub Jinho’s back soothingly. He isn’t upset or crying, but his eyes look tired. 

“Jinho… You know he can’t control that. Have you spoken to him after that?” I suggest to him, and he shakes his head. I hold in my sigh. They are both so stubborn. 

“I'm so… tired of feeling this way. I can't do anything except smile when girls come up to me and ask me if he has a girlfriend, or beg me to hook them up with a date. I feel so horribly jealous when I see Shinwon walking around with his arm around Elkie’s waist. I hate hiding it.” Jinho seems close to tears, and I hold him closer. He is my best friend and I can't stand to see him so upset either. He looks up to me with a small teary smile. I return it in an attempt to comfort him. I can't stand to see him so torn up. 

“You have to go talk to him. Maybe you shouldn't hide it.” I say firmly, looking straight at him. It’s an absurd idea, but for a split second, I find it fair enough to pitch it to him. Jinho chuckles quietly. 

“I wouldn’t hide it if I had a choice,” Jinho says. He stuffs his face in his hands. I rub his back slowly, trying to think of a solution. Jinho shifts, raising his head to stare at me strangely. I look back at him. He doesn’t blink as he moves towards me, eyes wide as pie platters. 

I don’t have a chance to react before his lips press onto mine. My best friend’s lips are soft, but dry on mine, and before I can think about it, he pulls away. He blinks a few times before what he did sink in. Jinho stands up with eyes unblinking, sucking away the warmth. 

“I… I… Excuse me.” He mumbles before rushing out of my room. I hear the front door slam in the distance, but I don’t blame him. I lay back on my bed, closing my eyes. The event that just transpired replays in my head, as if on a loop. With each loop, something changes. Short and spiky dark brown hair lightens and grows longer, just about reaching his eyebrows and ears. His eyes narrow, turning half lidded instead of wide open. His lips thin out, and the corners turn up as if in a constant smirk. Jinho morphs into a different person, someone who chases me in my dreams relentlessly.

I shake my head. This is ridiculous. I twist around in my bed in a failed attempt to get him out of my head. I’ll take another nap until Hyunggu or my mother comes home.

 

I’m driving this time. I feel an itch on the bridge of my nose and scratch it for a second. In that moment, I lose control of the car and manage to stop it right before I hit something. Or someone. The person in the passenger seat gasps and I turn to see Ms. Hyuna in normal clothes. I don’t stop to think about it, I run outside the car to see what I hit. I look down on the floor to see a body lying there, long blonde hair covering the person’s face. I crouch down next to them, brushing aside their hair to see their face when I realize it’s Hyojong. 

Now I’m falling down. I can see the city streets and traffic down below, but strangely, it doesn’t seem scary to me. My hand is grasping another’s, and I turn to see Hyojong through a mess of flailing red hair. He’s screaming in excitement, which makes me smile and open my mouth as well.

 

“Hwitaek, it’s time for dinner.” My mother nudges me awake before leaving my room. I wake up, blinking around in disorientation. I smell dinner set out in the living room. I clamber out of my bed and into the dining room. I don’t remember what my dream was about, but it seemed to be wild. I rub dried drool off my chin and sit at my place. 

Hyunggu is sitting next to me quietly, barely touching his food. However, I’m feeling hungry, devouring everything on my plate. My father and Hyunggu remain silent throughout dinner, although they don’t seem to be out of sorts. I eat more than usual, maybe because being sick is draining my energy. My mother reminds me to slow down, so I pause and take a sip of soup. Hyunggu gets up and leaves the table after eating about half of what he usually eats. My dad does the same, leaving my mom and me to clean up. My mother sits in front of the TV while I finish washing the dishes. 

“Mom, I think I'm going to go to sleep early tonight,” I say, and my mother nods before turning back to the news. I should go to school tomorrow, I feel much better after drinking some of my mother’s chicken noodle soup. I shuffle to my room and sit down at my desk, automatically finishing up the homework I have. There isn’t much, so I finish it within an hour. I head to sleep, brushing my teeth and turning out the lights. 

I can’t sleep. I twist around my bed, uncomfortable no matter how I positioned myself. I can’t stop thinking about what happened. It wasn’t Jinho’s fault, I know how loyal he is to Hongseok. I bet he’s sobbing himself to sleep over it. In fact, maybe it was my fault. I did put him in an extremely intimate position. Jinho is definitely in love with Hongseok, he probably just got caught up in his emotions today. I can only think of him as a friend, seeing as he’s taken and we’ve already been friends for so long. So why does the kiss keep replaying in my head? Why does he keep changing into someone else, someone who I most definitely do not want to kiss? Why do I keep imagining Hyojong as the one who kissed me?

 

I lounge around on a saggy brown couch, outside of what seems to be a warehouse. I’m in brown clothes for some reason, and I turn around to my right to see Hyojong, dressed in the same clothes as me. He grins at me, running his fingers through his long blonde hair.

I’m on a roof now, trying to balance myself. I turn around to see Hyojong, brown jacket slung over his shoulder and casually standing behind me. He juts his chin towards me, and I take it as a sign to keep walking. I can see roller coasters, merry go rounds and other attractions that seemed to be calling out to me. It looks like Hyojong and I were at some sort of carnival. I turn to look at Hyojong again, and he smiles before everything fades to black.

 

Hyunggu shakes me awake, telling me to get ready for school. I get up reluctantly, and Hyunggu disappears without another word. I go through my usual routine, making sure I didn’t leave my homework on my desk. I feel almost completely back to normal, but something seems off about Hyunggu. He’s been quiet lately, so I decide to ask him about it at the bus stop.

“Hyunggu, you haven’t been yourself lately,” I say, looking over to Hyunggu. He looks up from the ground and shrugs.

“No, I haven’t.” He goes back to staring at the ground. After a few moments of silence, I try to coax an answer out of him again.

“...Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, trying to make eye contact with him. He avoids my eyes and shakes his head. I ease off, turning my attention away. Looks like he still needs some time. The bus arrives, and I take my usual place. I feel wide awake, so I look out the window on the way to school. Jinho doesn’t take the bus today.

 

When I get to school, I start by heading up to my locker. I start putting my things inside when someone interrupts me with a cough. My breath gets caught up in my throat and my shoulders clench. I close my locker door slowly and turn around to see a worried Hongseok. I let out the breath I was holding and relax my shoulders. 

“...Have you talked to Jinho yesterday?” Hongseok asks, looking concerned. I nod slowly. Jinho didn’t say I can't tell Hongseok after all. I don’t want Hongseok mad at me.

“Did he tell you about the latest one?” He asks again, and I nod again. He glances around, seeing people are around us. He motions for me to follow and we head up to the rooftop for a bit more privacy. 

“I let her down easy as always. As snobby as it sounds, I can’t do anything about all of them. I hope Jinho won’t be so mad this time, I know he gets paranoid or jealous about it.” He sighs, sinking down to sit against one of the fences on the roof. I sit down next to him and dip my head. It’s the middle of winter and I don’t have a jacket on, but I can tell this is important to Hongseok.

“...You know what will stop him from being jealous and paranoid?” I turn to ask him. He looks back at me curiously. Too late to turn back now.

“You should make your relationship public,” I say firmly, and Hongseok freezes up. He looks at me like I’m crazy. Then he stares off into space and I can tell he’s thinking from the look in his eyes. I assume it would make their relationship more stable, seeing as girls will back off of Hongseok. 

“...That isn’t what I expected, but it could work…” I nod along as Hongseok speaks. Jinho probably walked or took the public bus to school to avoid me. I should go talk to him after school or tomorrow. The bell rings before Hongseok or I can say another word, so we get up and leave for class.

 

I see Jinho during chemistry class. I try to ignore Jinho’s stare by staring at the board. I can feel him watching me. Ms. Hyuna goes on a tangent and starts talking about the composition of blood and hair. A strange topic, but I don’t question it. Hyojong is texting on his phone under the table. He hasn’t said a word to me and looks like he wouldn’t today, but I still feel uneasy and nervous. I try to focus on taking notes, but with both Hyojong next to me and Jinho watching me, I can’t focus. 

Somewhere during the lesson, Ms. Hyuna confiscates Hyojong’s phone and scolds him. Hyojong doesn’t seem fazed at all, and Ms. Hyuna seems tired of scolding him all the time as well. Jinho stops watching me. He turns his attention to me, and I can already tell he’s about to make a smart comment.

“You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?” Hyojong whispers to me. I start coughing out of the blue. Hyojong chuckles next to me. My cheeks are probably turning tomato red right now. Jinho looks over to me, but I keep pretending I don’t see him. His staring is a bit unsettling, to say the least. Ms. Hyuna pauses and turns to me with a concerned expression.

“Hwitaek, are you sure you should be in school? You still sound a bit sick.” I nod my head, my coughing fit stopping. She gives me another glance before turning back and teaching us how to clean up blood. 

“I was going to ask you if that pickup line was good but-” Hyojong starts with a smirk, but I cut him off, staring straight ahead.

“I can’t talk right now,” I say coolly, and Hyojong gives me a look. He looks me up and down, realizing I’m serious. He sighs a bit and leans on one of his arms, looking at the board with disinterest.

“You’re still red, know.” He mutters under his breath, and I clear my throat. My cheeks do still feel flaming hot. I make a point to start scribbling notes loudly, but I can see Hyojong smirking from the corner of my eye. 

 

I start heading to the cafeteria from my English classroom as the bell rings. I wonder what Hongseok’s planning to do. I might sit with him instead of Changgu and the others. I don’t think they’ll mind, and Jinho probably isn’t going to sit with Hongseok unless he wants to apologize or something. I walk into the cafeteria and I see Hongseok making his way through the crowds when he sees me. We meet in the middle of the cafeteria.

“Where is he?” Hongseok asks, a bit louder than necessary. A few heads turn to look at us, but most of them turn away after a moment when they realize we aren’t important. Hongseok scans the cafeteria, twisting around. I spot Jinho entering from one of the entrances and nudge Hongseok. 

“Jinho!” Hongseok exclaims, catching a few people’s amused looks. He runs over to an anxious looking Jinho, nearly crashing into a few people. I walk a bit closer to them. This must be what Hongseok had planned.

“Hongseok, people are-” Jinho notices the attention and starts whispering to Hongseok until he’s cut off by Hongseok. Hongseok’s lips, to be exact. 

His eyes look like they’re about to pop, but he seems more surprised than uncomfortable. I can hear the whole cafeteria drop silent and stare at them in amazement. Hongseok pulls away after a moment, never taking his eyes off of Jinho.

“I’m sorry, Jinnie,” Hongseok says softly, so soft that I can barely hear from 3 feet away. Jinho looks like he’s about to cry but luckily, he holds it together. He nods, starting to smile and Hongseok beams in return. Their hands intertwine naturally as if a sign everything was back to normal.

“Hey guys, why don’t you grab a seat?” Changgu stands up from his table to ask. I can hear the crack of every neck in the room turning to look at him. He gives them one of his signature, radiant smiles and Hongseok nods at him. They start making their way over slowly, Changgu and Yanan inching to the side to give them space. It seems like the whole cafeteria is frozen, but the second they sit down, time started ticking again.

I take my usual seat next to Shinwon, and all of us start eating relatively quietly. Changgu being Changgu, strikes up an easy conversation with Hongseok after they eat at lightning speeds. Shinwon joins in as well, while Jinho and Yanan watch on with content. Elkie starts texting on her phone with excitement. I notice Hyojong isn’t at the table when I hear a cough from behind me.

The whole table looks behind me, and I turn to see Hyojong. He looks straight at me and tilts his head. I inch a bit closer to Shinwon to make room for him. The moment he sits down at the table, I feel a tension form. 

I see Hongseok glaring at Hyojong, while Hyojong pulls out his phone without a word. Changgu clears his throat and starts talking to Yanan instead about something that happened in class. Jinho looks at Hongseok with concern, placing a hand on top of his. He smiles at Jinho. Shinwon turns to me with confusion.

“Is it just me or is the mood really weird here?” He says to me in what’s supposed to be a whisper. It ends up being louder than what he probably meant, and I bobbed my head in between bites of my sandwich. 

“Learn how to whisper, Shinwon,” Hyojong says without looking up from his phone screen. I swallow my bite of food. Changgu pauses his conversation and Jinho’s grip on Hongseok’s hand tightens. 

“Learn how to whisper, Shinwon.” Shinwon mocks Hyojong and continues eating. Hyojong doesn't seem to notice, and everyone visibly relaxes. Shinwon not taking anything seriously has its perks sometimes. Jinho and Hongseok seem to be at much more ease, but I’m aware of the looks everyone is giving our table and the whispering.

 

I’m doing some of my math homework in my room when my phone rings. I glance at the ID to see Jinho’s name. I put down my pencil and pick up my phone. I need a break anyway.

“Hello?”  
“...hey Hwi.”  
“What’s up?”  
“I would come over, but I know you’re busy and I don’t want to bother you for too long.”  
“What is it?”  
“I wanted to talk about… yesterday.”  
“Oh. Yeah?”  
“I… Told Hongseok about it.”  
“And?”  
“He’s fine with it after I explained, but I wanted to talk to you too.”  
“...I’m sorry, Jinho. I put you in that really awkward position.”  
“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. I should be the one apologizing. I’m sorry about doing that, I wanted to feel comforted by someone and I made a bad decision.”  
“It’s fine Jinho, as long as Hongseok didn’t have a problem with it. I don’t have secret feelings for you or anything, so don’t worry about it.”  
“Yeah, Hongseok said it was fine because he knows I… I’m committed to him. We both know you can’t possibly be into me anyway.”  
“Yeah. Wait, what do you mean?”  
“I mean… I’m pretty sure everyone can see your boner for Hyojong.”  
“Jinho!”

The rest of our conversation crumbles into jokes and banter, like usual. I knew it, everything would go back to normal. After talking for half an hour or so, I end the call and finish my homework. I feel totally healthy now, but I should still be getting a lot of rest. 

I climb into bed, stretching my back. It’s been quite a day. I can’t wait to get back to work, actually. Work shifts are usually the highlight of my weekends, as lame as that sounds. I go into a dreamless sleep, excited for tomorrow’s events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AJSKLJDLASDKLDS IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!! ive been enjoying the start of summer by binging persona 3 and oitnb and working on some of my other projects haha triple h and critical beauty was aMAZING I LOVE CRITICAL BEAUTY ACTUALLY such a shame nct overshadowed them :') (cherry bomb was great tho no hate) gosh i love them all they manage to win my heart every time i watch one of their mvs oh and im planning to watch produce 101 quite soon, so ill comment on that in the notes for the next chapter!
> 
> anyway special announcement 1:  
> so as u might know, i have a summer project planned!! its titled 45 days of fun and yes, its pentagon related~ im going to be writing a drabble for every single possible pairing in ptg, 45 in total! its gonna be a drabble a day, i have the pairings and prompts ready to start and i'm planning to start it right after this chapter is uploaded. updates for gbgb may be slowed down, but i dont think it would stop completely. if u would like to give me feedback regarding this, feel free to leave a comment here!
> 
> special announcement 2:  
> as a gift for yall waiting so long for this chapter, ive decided to share the spotify playlist of songs that inspired/inspires me to write gbgb! i hope yall enjoy this and get the mood/vibe of how gbgb is gonna go ;))  
> https://open.spotify.com/user/minanmacy/playlist/0rEhr6xZ9vm9hb8H5Mgxup
> 
> as always, my social media are listed here:  
> instagram/twitter: @pentacrazy  
> tumblr: @marciee
> 
> if you'd like, leave a comment/kudos/favourite! it'll really make my day!
> 
> ps: i would like to stick to a regular updating schedule, maybe every week or so?


	10. Chapter 10

I find myself up earlier than usual, probably due to a lot of naps I took yesterday. I get dressed, uneasy in the abnormally silent house. Normally, I’d hear my dad’s snores from the hallway, but it’s quiet today. My parents should still be asleep though. I glance at the time as I grab a slice of bread and an apple for breakfast. I’m going to be half an hour early for my shift.

I peek into Hyunggu’s room before I leave to see if he’s awake. He’s sleeping quietly, cuddling another pillow tightly in his sleep. I wonder what he’s dreaming about. I smile to myself, turning and leaving the house.

 

I open the door to the music store and I’m immediately greeted by Taeyong stacking some CDs by the door. He looks a bit different, with newly dyed pinkish hair. He comments on how early I am, unlike Johnny. He takes me to the backroom, and when we reach the counter, I see an unfamiliar employee with a black cap and neatly parted hair. He looks surprised to see me but manages a curt nod which I return. I glance briefly at his nametag, which labels him as “Winwin”.

Taeyong and I enter the back room, where another employee is unboxing some new CDs. He looks up at the sound of Taeyong entering, and I can see his long brown hair covering his eyes. It matches him quite well. He brushes his hair aside and gives a quick nod in our direction. Taeyong hands me my apron and nametag as he talks to the other employee.

“Yuta, this is Hwitaek. Hwitaek, Yuta. Yuta, have you started the inventory yet? It’s due by Wednesday.” He starts nagging Yuta, and I feel kind of bad for him. I set my bag down in the corner and put on my apron and tag. Taeyong looks at the time and Winwin comes into the room.

“Okay you two, stay safe on your way home!” Taeyong flops on the couch as Winwin and Yuta pack up their things. They give us both nods as they leave, chattering to each other quietly.

“Those two are usually pretty quiet, not like Johnny or Ten. God, don’t get me started on those two.” Taeyong says, sitting on the couch comfortably. I nod, unsure of what to do with myself as he talks. Taeyong tells me to man the counter while he takes his break, so I comply and head outside and sit on the stool in front of the cash register.

An old woman is browsing the aisles right now, so I set on reorganizing the cash register and receipts. The old woman comes up to the counter with a CD I don't recognize. She pays for her purchase and leaves slowly, shuffling down the aisles. I wonder if Hyojong is coming today.

Jaehyun arrives for his shift on time, hurrying to the backroom after giving me a polite smile. I try not to think about Jaehyun and Taeyong left alone in the backroom together. Johnny strolls in late and starts talking to me about how Taeyong doesn't care if he's late. Johnny had cut his hair as well, it looked quite stylish on him.

Taeyong stumbles out of the back room after a few minutes and Johnny goes into change, giving him a smirk while he's at it. I settle into my place at the cash register. Looks like I'm on cash duty today. Taeyong moves up and down the aisles, cleaning up and cataloging CDS.

At some point, business slows to a halt. Taeyong pulls up a stool next to me and takes out a magazine. It’s a scholarly journal about music. I look into the wall, allowing myself to daydream for a while. Taeyong reads for a while, then turns to me, closing his magazine.

“You know, you seem kinda down today. Are you alright? Are you still sick?” He looks concerned for me. I nod along, trying not to keep eye contact with him. Why does everyone think I’m depressed lately? Taeyong stares at me for a while more and leaves me be. I do feel a bit more tired lately, and perhaps pessimistic? I’m not sure what would cause it though. Maybe it’s how Jinho and Hongseok have been withdrawing from me lately? No, that has never bothered me.

The store bell rings, signaling a new customer. I clear my throat and clear my head. I’ll think about that later, this might be one of our followers. I turn to glance at storeroom. I can hear Johnny and Taeyong arguing through the wall, although a bit muffled. I turn back to look at the customer that just came in, and I have to use all of my willpower not to scream.

Hyunggu is strolling down the aisles, looking at CDs. Thankfully, he hasn’t seen me yet, but it’s only a matter of time. I duck under the counter and pretend to be picking something up from the floor. I am not going to hear the end of this. Please leave the store. Please leave the store. Please leave the store.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for an album called Ceremony? I forgot the name of the artist who released it, I was wondering if someone could help?” Hyunggu’s familiar voice rings out as he nears the counter. I pray that Taeyong and Johnny will stop arguing and help Hyunggu. For a moment, they stop yelling, and I can barely make out Jaehyun’s voice muttering something before Johnny interrupts him and they start arguing again. I sigh deeply.

“Hi, how may I help you?” I stand back behind the counter, facing Hyunggu and forcing a smile on my face. I am not going to hear the end of this.

Hyunggu’s jaw drops open. He looks me up and down, and squints. Then he starts laughing. I drop my smile, cross my arms and wait. This is probably worse than the time he found out Hyojong and I knew each other. He’s still wheezing when he manages to speak.

“H-Hwi. Oh my gosh. Am I dreaming? Is this real?” Hyunggu collapses in another fit of giggles. I roll my eyes and answer with yes. I turn to the storeroom door and I see Jaehyun’s face peeking out. He raises an eyebrow at Hyunggu and walks out to stand next to me.

“How may I help you?” Hyunggu finally stops when he sees Jaehyun. I smirk just a little. Hyunggu starts explaining whatever album he’s trying to find to Jaehyun, and Jaehyun nods walks over the counter and guides Hyunggu to his precious album. I groan quietly. Hyunggu is never letting this go.

 

When I get home, Hyunggu immediately starts laughing again. I tolerate his teasing only because he actually bought something from the store. The rest of the day goes as usual, except Hyunggu makes the occasional joke about me working at a retail job.

“Hwi, you know that place is notorious for hot guys right?”

“Wait what?”

“Seriously. Girls in my year love that place. Like Binnie, she told me she saw you, but I told her it definitely wasn’t you because why would you be working there?”

“...”

“But you do! I still can’t believe it. Oh my gosh, I think I’m tearing up.”

“I’m going to punch you, Hyunggu.”

“Oh, just wait ‘til I tell Wooseok. And Yuto.”

“Hyunggu!”

 

On Sunday, I wake up with a throbbing headache. I manage to stumble to the bathroom and grab a panadol, washing it down with water. I walk into the living room, expecting to be able to lay on the couch and watch the television all day, but Hyunggu is already there. He seems half asleep, but unwilling to budge from his spot. I clutch my head. It hurts even more.

“Hyunggu, let me have the couch please.” He looks up lazily at me for a moment and turns back to the television.

“Oh, you’re gonna have to offer something better than that.” Hyunggu groans. I grab onto the couch arms and shove him. Gently, of course.

“I’m not going to do you, but who should I arrange for you to make out with?” I joke as I lean back on the side of the couch. Hyunggu yawns again and leans on my side. He seems half asleep.

“...Wooseok. His lips are like, really soft. At least in my imagination.” Hyunggu laughs half-heartedly. I freeze. What? Hyunggu twists, curling up in my lap and falls asleep before I can gather my thoughts and ask him about it. That just confirmed my suspicions. Hyunggu likes Wooseok, doesn’t he? He seems distressed in his dream state. I stroke his hair for a bit while I watch the news, and his expression turns content. Hyunggu reminds me of the cat when he’s asleep.

My phone rings from my room, and I look down at Hyunggu. He’s still sound asleep, and I don’t want to wake him by getting up. I let my phone ring. People usually text me, it’s most likely a telemarketer or something. I continue watching the afternoon news, enjoying my chance to relax.

 

“Hwitaek! Mail!” Hyunggu nudges me and tosses an envelope on my lap. His hair is all ruffled. I fell asleep a while ago and he must have gotten up without waking me up. Hyunggu trudges back into his room after grabbing a banana from the fruits basket on the table. I inspect the envelope. It was sent from the district music center. It must be about the piano competition.

I open up the envelope carefully, and sure enough, inside was the acceptance letter for the competition and information about it. It’s taking place at the music center in about 6 weeks. It also says I can prepare my own piece of music until then. I get up from the couch and take the letter to my room. I should prepare as soon as possible.

I place the letter down on my desk, marking down the date on my calendar. I turn on my phone to put it in my phone calendar when I see who the missed call was from. It was from Wooseok. I open up my texts to see an influx of texts from him. He tells me he needs to talk to me about something important and that we should talk in person tomorrow. I text back affirmatively and turn to my shelf of music books. I should start picking a song for the contest. I set some books aside when my mother calls me to prepare dinner.

 

I feel wide awake during Chemistry class, the opposite of the person next to me. Hyojong is yawning, leaning on our shared desk. Miss Hyuna doesn’t seem to notice as she shows us a video about conductivity. Hyojong decides to take a nap I take notes eagerly. It’s the first time in a while I’ve been able to focus on Chemistry class. I turn to look at Jinho, who shoots me a brief smile. I turn back to my notes and add some more as the person in the video rambles on. It’s quite nice to finally be able to work without Hyojong interrupting or staring at me.

 

I swallow my bite of sandwich. Everyone is eating their lunch and it was eerily quiet. I can feel tension lingering in the air. Even Changgu seems at a loss for words today. It’s not just having Hongseok and Hyojong at the table, it’s the fact that everyone seems to be gossipping about our table. Probably Jinho and Hongseok in particular. I’ve had two people ask me about them today, and both times I told them to ask Jinho or Hongseok themselves. I don’t think anyone has dared to talk to them today though, and they seem quite content with each other. I think they’re probably too worried about our athletic Hongseok to pick on Jinho. Shinwon nudges me and mouths, “Say something.” I sigh a bit and look at Hongseok.

“So, Hongseok, I heard the new Iron Man movie is out, isn’t it?” He looks up and I can see the excitement grow in his eyes as he starts talking about it. Talking about his favorite superhero gets him fired up every time. Jinho smiles and places a hand on his. Changgu livens up as well, looking at us with interest.

Hyojong still looks uninterested, half asleep. I nudge him awake as Changgu says something about Captain America, Yanan nodding in agreement with him.

“Hey Hyojong, do you like superheroes?” I ask, and all of them quiet down. Hongseok glares at him and gives me a look asking me what is going on. Hyojong yawns and turns to me.

“The Hulk is better than Iron Man.” He says, turning to look straight into Hongseok’s eyes. Hongseok immediately frowns, and his eyebrows scrunch. His hand starts shaking and Jinho sighs. I close my eyes. Hyojong. Why.

“Okay, I’ve had it. You just want to push my buttons, don’t you? I know Captain America is your favorite, you just want to get on my nerves. You know fully well how I feel about the stupid Hulk.” Hongseok starts ranting about how much better Iron Man is, and I turn to Hyojong, who is trying to contain his laughter.

“Wait, you two know each other?” Shinwon turns to Hyojong and asks innocently. Hyojong rolls his eyes in response, leaving Shinwon confused. I’m about to say something when Hongseok kicks me under the table and I grab my shin. That hurt.

“I’m going to the bathroom.” He announces as he stands, Jinho looking concerned. He looks at me pointedly. I announce that I am going as well, and we both walk out of the cafeteria and into the bathroom. I can feel our table and probably the rest of the cafeteria staring at us. I hope whatever Hongseok had to say is important.

Hongseok makes sure nobody is in the bathroom with us, kicking open each empty stall to be sure. He locks the door and sighs loudly, running his hands through his hair.

“Hongseok, I-” I start.

“Hwitaek. I cannot stand that guy. He knows how to push my buttons. He is not going to stop rattling me. For Christ’s sake, he insulted Iron Man!” I put a hand on his shoulder. Hongseok seems in distress, taking deep sighs. He turns to look me in the eyes.

“You know why he’s doing this, Hwitaek?” Hongseok asks, in a very serious tone.

“No?” I reply in confusion. What is he getting at?

“Because he’s an asshole. Hyojong is an asshole, Hwitaek. This is also why I’m not friends with him anymore.” Hongseok says, looking down, and turns to unlock the door. I stop him by grabbing his forearm.

“Hongseok, wait! Okay yes, sometimes he’s an asshole, but you should give him a chance!” I find myself defending Hyojong for some reason. I can’t believe I’m saying this. Hongseok stares at me in disbelief. He shakes his head.

“Hwitaek. Jinho and I, wait no. I meant everyone. Everyone can see your boner for him. But because you’re my friend and I’m probably going to end up stuck talking to him at some point, I’ll try my best to give him a chance. Although I swear, if he snubs Iron Man again, I will not hesitate to knock him out.” Hongseok says in reply. I let out a sigh. It’s going to be much more comfortable at the lunch table now that they’re not constantly fighting in stares. Wait.

“I don’t have a boner for him, but thank you. Now let’s head back.” Hongseok leads the way back, and we sit down as if nothing has happened. Changgu and Shinwon are discussing the benefits of corn, and Jinho gives Hongseok a pointed look. Hongseok starts whispering to Jinho, and I try to look at something else. Yanan is watching Changgu demurely as always, and Elkie is talking to her friends quite loudly. To be honest, if you looked at Shinwon and Elkie at a glance, you wouldn’t be able to guess they were dating. Hyojong is on his phone as always. I try to peek at his screen to see who he’s texting, but the bell rings before I can do that.

 

I get home without Hyunggu. Yesterday, he grumbled something about hanging out with Yuto today. I wonder if Wooseok arranged that. The doorbell rings just as I take off my shoes. That must be Wooseok. I turn and open the door for him, letting him in. He looks a bit tired but relieved to see me.

“So,” I begin as I walk to the kitchen to get us some water. “What did you want to talk to me about?” Wooseok sits down on the couch, on the edge of the seat. He sighs as I put down two glasses of water on the coffee table. I take a seat next to him. I didn’t really expect him to come to me for advice, but I’d like to help as much as possible, of course.

“Hyung, I need to tell you something,” Wooseok says, turning to me with his worried eyes. He has big puppy eyes, the opposite of Hyunggu in some ways. Actually, I hope he says he reciprocates Hyunggu’s feelings, so I could get them together. I nod with a smile, leaning in to listen, and he takes a deep breath.

“Hyung, I met this really amazing girl.” I blink in confusion. A smile starts spreading on his face and he turns away. I thought he was going to tell me he was secretly in love with Hyunggu as well, like a cliche romantic comedy.

“Her name is Universe. She’s gorgeous, funny, smart, and just so beautiful. I can’t stop thinking about her. I… I think I love her. I’ve only told Yuto, who’s helping me chase her. I think I should tell Hyunggu, but I’m scared she’ll come between our friendship.” Wooseok confides in me, and I nod along, still in shock. I can’t believe it. Hyunggu would be devastated if he found out. Wooseok looks at me expectantly, and I realize I haven’t said anything.

“Ah. I see. Uh, I think you should really tell Hyunggu. He um, really treasures you, I’m sure a girl won’t get in the way. I hope you end up with your girl.” I cough. Wooseok seems relieved by my answer and takes a sip of water. Just when I feel like I have my life together, something always falls apart. He sets down his cup, and he looks much more at ease.

“Thank you, hyung. Can you keep this a secret from Hyunggu for now? I want to tell him myself.” Wooseok smiles, and I force a smile on my face while I nod. Now I can’t even warn him. Wooseok gets up, saying that it’s getting late and he has work to do, and I walk him out the door, my eyes still wide. He leaves with a wide smile, walking off as light as a feather. My heart sinks like a million pounds at the thought of how Hyunggu might react.

 

Hyunggu comes home and sits on his usual spot on the couch. I sit down cautiously next to him. He leans on my shoulder without a word, and I go rigid. He seems content, happy even. I really don’t want to tell him, but if he finds out I knew the whole time… I want to tell him, so he wouldn’t be heartbroken in front of Wooseok. But I feel like he wouldn’t believe me, and it might just cause a rift between us. I don’t want to do that. Maybe I’m making up excuses, maybe I’m selfish, but I’m not going to say a word. I can feel the building guilt as I sit next to Hyunggu on the couch. It’s insufferable.

 

Dinner passed without anything interesting. I can’t bear to look at Hyunggu anymore, or my dad. I know he’s been hiding from us as well. They all seem so cheerful during dinner. Hyunggu smiles and eats happily while my parents converse light-heartedly. I wonder when my dad will tell Hyunggu and me about how he quit his addiction. I think I’m the only one who feels terrible.

 

“So, how are you guys going? Are you two going to go official like Jinho and Hongseok?” I ask, putting down my pencil. Yanan shrugs with a blush. It feels like ages since I’ve talked to Yanan. He doesn’t say much at lunch, obviously.

“...We’re taking things slow.” Yanan smiles softly. I nod back. He is a great friend, but he should open up more. I think about conversation topics for a moment.

“Hey Yanan, hypothetically, if I knew that someone is dating my friend’s crush, should I tell them?” I ask, hoping to come off natural. Yanan stops and thinks for a moment before replying.

“Hmm. I suppose so. My friend’s crush is already in a relationship, so they can’t go out with their crush anyway. My friend will move on.” Yanan says and goes back to our classwork. He’s right. Hyunggu needs to move on, and I can’t keep feeling so guilty, or selfish. I sigh. Yanan is a great advice giver.

“Hwitaek, are you okay? Do you need help?” Yanan asks, looking concerned. I smile but shake my head. I am stumped on this question though, so I ask him about it. I take him up on his offer to show me how to do it. He really is a nice guy.

 

I look up from the piano keys when the teacher starts talking about how bad our timing is. I glance at the strings section out of habit and accidentally catch Hyojong’s eye. He looks at me blankly and turns away, looking down at his score sheet. I sigh internally. Great. Even Hyojong is making me feel terrible today. The bell rings, and I pack up my things, ready to leave when the teacher calls me over.

“Ah, Hwitaek, come have a seat. I wanted to talk to you for a few minutes.” I nod and sit across his desk at the front. I haven’t talked to him since he gave me an application for the CD store.

“Hwitaek… Ah, you’re the borderline depressed piano kid who applied to the CD store, right?” I nod slowly. Borderline depressed piano kid? “Right. I assume the interview went smoothly and you’re settling in alright there?” I nod again. There wasn’t even an interview.

“That’s good to hear. That’s not what I asked you here for though. Are you aware of the district music competition in about a month and a half?”

“Yes sir, I got the acceptance letter and information yesterday,” I answer affirmatively.

“Oh. You already signed up. Well, I was going to recruit you for the competition, maybe get you a duet with that quirky guitar kid.” I grimace. Quirky guitar kid probably means Hyojong.

“I keep trying to get him to sign up but he just brushes it off. He has the talent of a punk band guitarist, but the angsty soul of one as well, apparently. Oh, right, anyway. That’s basically what I called you here for.” I nod and start getting up to leave.

“Oh wait hold on, I just remembered something. I knew I forgot something. Borderline depressed piano kid, you seem a bit down lately, everything ok at home and stuff?” I nod, trying to stand up straight and look cheerier.

“Ah well, okay. Here’s a slip if your teacher asks you why you’re late, go to your next class now.” I nod meekly, taking his signed slip and leaving the music room. I can’t believe I have almost partnered up with Hyojong again. That does remind me though, I should get to pick a song for the competition when I get home.

 

Hongseok seems more at ease during lunch now, talking to Changgu calmly about horses or something. Hyojong seems bored as always, taking a nap on the table. I decide to have some small talk with Jinho and Shinwon, discussing the weather. I mention the music competition I signed up for, and Shinwon perks up.

“Oh yeah, I’m entering as well! The old music teacher made me do it, but I guess it can be fun.” I look at him in surprise. I never took Shinwon for a music person. I always saw him more as a drama person.

“Oh, that’s pretty cool. I didn’t know you took music. Which instrument do you play?” I ask in genuine interest. He seemed like a violin type of guy, maybe.

“The piano!” Shinwon sticks out his chest proudly as he announces it. I nod and smile. Shinwon is full of surprises. Then again, it could just be that I don’t know him very well.

“We should practice together sometime,” I say, and Shinwon agrees excitedly. I thought he is a cold type of guy, but it turns out once Shinwon warms up to you, he becomes an excited puppy. He reminds me a bit of Wooseok, actually, though I’m laughing at the thought of them ever meeting.

The bell rings, signaling the end of lunch, and I turn to Shinwon, asking for his number. I can feel the heated stares of a few of his followers on me as he enters his number on my phone. As weird as it sounds, I’m getting kind of used to it happening whenever I talk to Shinwon or Changgu.

 

The bell rings and people pour out of the school. I’m about to head home when I’m stopped by Shinwon and Elkie outside the main building. Elkie gives me a soft smile, and Shinwon asks me if I want to head to a coffee shop with him and Elkie. Before I can think about it, he drags me outside the school and towards the downtown district.

A while later, I find myself warming up from the winter cold inside the quiet coffee shop, a warm cup of hot chocolate in my hands. I don’t drink coffee often. Shinwon and Elkie are sitting across from me, discussing dinner plans. I text Hyunggu really quickly that I’ll be home a bit late, and when I look up from my phone, Shinwon and Elkie are staring at me.

“Hey, I’ve seen you before at soccer practice a few weeks ago, right?” Elkie asks, tilting her head at me. I nod in response, taking a sip of hot chocolate. She laughs, her long hair jostling with her. She’s wearing a jacket, but I wonder how she isn’t freezing in her skirt.

“Oh yeah, you were there. I forgot about that. Hyunggu is your brother, right? Great guy.” Shinwon chirps and takes a sip of his own complicated coffee order. I smile at that. I’m sure Hyunggu would be thrilled if he heard Shinwon call him a great guy. Elkie nods as well, zipping up her pink jacket.

“Well, did you guys bring me here for something?” I ask curiously, warming my fingers with my cup. They laugh in unison and shake their heads. They explain that they just wanted to hang out with me, and I feel kind of dumb now. I also feel like they have some sort of ulterior motive from the way they give each other glances. It’s like Jinho and Hongseok again. Why am I always the third wheel?

“So, Hwitaek, tell us more about yourself,” Elkie says, taking a sip from her simple matcha latte. I manage to fumble out some words about the piano and singing, and they nod along, looking a bit bored. I need to think of something good to let them think I’m interesting.

“I guess I don’t have a lot of interests, but I do have a nice group of friends,” I say, and I immediately want to slap myself. Elkie looks interested though, her eyebrow quirked.

“Ah. Well, who would you say is your best friend?” Elkie asks and nudges Shinwon indiscreetly. He turns his attention back to me, looking a bit sheepish. My suspicion that they are planning something increased by about 10 times.

“My best friends are probably Jinho and Hongseok. I mean, the rest of the guys at the lunch table are really nice too.” I say, hoping that it didn’t sound too lame. Elkie looks a bit disappointed for a moment but quickly smiles again. Shinwon sighs a bit loudly, but since there’s barely anyone here, nobody seemed to mind.

“What about Hyojong?” Shinwon exclaims, and Elkie bats at him. I feel my cheeks turning red, and not from the warmth of the hot chocolate. Shinwon and Elkie stop fighting and turn towards me.

“Hyojong is um… Some people say he’s kind of a bad boy.” I mumble, and Shinwon leans in forward.

“Are you into bad boys?” Shinwon asks, eyes wide and smile spreading. Elkie hits him and apologizes for his behavior. I groan. Shinwon really cannot be discreet.

“You two think I have a boner for Hyojong too, don’t you guys?” Shinwon bursts out laughing, and Elkie blushes while she tries to deny it. After a minute or two, they admit that yesterday when I was in the bathroom with Hongseok, they were talking about it. I freak out for a moment before they clarify that Hyojong went off to throw something away and wasn’t there when they were discussing it with Changgu.

“I don’t have a crush on him, you guys.” I sigh. Shinwon rolls his eyes and Elkie nods slowly, in a way that showed she is unconvinced. Nobody believes me, but at this point, I’m used to it now. Elkie picks up a phone call and says she has to go. We both bid her goodbye.

“He doesn’t even talk to me anymore,” I mumble, and Shinwon both leans in closer with a big grin.

“Are you sure? Well, now that I think about it, he’s been getting distant from me too. He never wants to hang out at the arcade anymore.” Shinwon says with a hint of disappointment. I sigh. Looks like Shinwon doesn’t know what’s going on either.

We spend the rest of the evening talking about school and the piano competition at the coffee shop. Shinwon is actually pretty nice to talk to and we have a few common interests, like the piano. When both of our cups are long empty, we go our separate ways to head home.

 

I flip through a pop music book, one that the school also has. I have a lot of practice with most songs in this book, so I should stick to it. I look through the worn out book, looking at various songs I’ve practiced before. Beauty and the Beast, Those Years… [A Little Happiness](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sQSXwdtxlY)? That’s a good one, not too difficult and nice to listen to. That’s also the song I played with Hyojong, wasn’t it?

Well, I did have a lot of practice with this song I happen to like a lot, so the logical thing is to play it right? I dog-ear the page in the book and set the book open on the piano stand. I sit in front of the piano, playing the tune once. It made me sad, it makes me feel nostalgic about old memories. I played it again. Then again, and again, until I feel like crying, for some reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM VERY SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE AFKJSDLFSKAJ  
> also! the song hwitaek wants to play is called [A Little Happiness](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sQSXwdtxlY) and its from this really great taiwanese movie! i highly recommend watching it, the music video is really sweet and i sobbed my eyes out at the end TuT the one i linked is in chinese, my native language, but i found one with eng subs [here!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkOgpyBJgr4)   
> please listen to it because it really is a terrific emotional song that inspired me to write this whole fic!
> 
> as always, leave a comment/kudos/bookmark if u enjoyed and catch me fangirling about pentagon on instagram as @pentaposts and twitter as @nochilluniverse!


	11. Chapter 11

“So class, I’m finally done marking your chemistry projects. I’m sorry for the delay, it’s been hectic these past few weeks.” Miss Hyuna says, carrying a stack of folders into the classroom. She seems tired, barely standing upright in her heels and her eyes droopy as if she didn’t get enough sleep. She calls us up pair by pair to get our grades. I glance to my right, where Hyojong is barely keeping his eyes open as well. Jeez, am I the only one getting any sleep in here? 

“Hwitaek and Hyojong!” Ms. Hyuna announces, shuffling through her folders and papers. I reach out hesitantly to wake Hyojong up when he leaps to his feet on his own. I follow him quietly to Ms. Hyuna’s desk, where she smiles at us. I’m reminded of the dream I had, where she appeared next to me, with striking red hair. I shake my head. She would never dye her currently black hair. Besides, it looks quite nice on her.

“Well done, both of you. This pairing worked out better than I thought. I should do this more often.” Ms. Hyuna says, beaming as she hands us our results. I peek at the papers. I did quite well on the lab report, and I assume Hyojong did as well. I glance over at him. He looks at his result and hands it back to Ms. Hyuna with a little bow of his head, his face indifferent. I hand mine back to Ms. Hyuna as well, smiling sheepishly. 

She smiles at us and calls up the next pair, so I follow Hyojong to our table. We sit down for a moment, and I start to wait for him to tease me about being a teacher’s pet or a nerd. He doesn’t say anything though, staring at the whiteboard blankly and yawning. I turn over to Jinho’s side. 

He tilts his head as if to ask about my grade, and I give him a thumbs up. Jinho grins back and returns my thumbs up. When I turn back to Hyojong, he’s slumped on the desk, presumably asleep. I watch him for a moment, his back rising up and down slowly as he breathes.

Hyojong has certain days where he’s perky and annoying for hours, but days where he drops to the table and snores the second he walks in aren’t uncommon either. I wonder why. I propped my face up with one hand, watching Hyojong for a moment. He’s a strange guy to figure out.

“Okay class, you all did very well with this project. I think we should switch up our seats again for the next few weeks!” Ms. Hyuna said, grinning as she speaks. I blink in disbelief. It felt like two days have barely passed since we started the project when it was really around a month. 

Ms. Hyuna starts giving us directions and places to move to before I can say a word. She directs me to Jinho’s seat and moves Jinho to the table in front of me. I pack up my things, giving Hyojong a quick look. He seems mainly indifferent, probably because he was half asleep. 

I slide into my new seat next to Seunghee when it sinks in. There’s no reason for me to talk to Hyojong anymore, with half the classroom between us. The worst part is that he doesn’t seem affected at all. Then why do I find myself caring? It’s not like I want to talk to him.

I blink out of my trance when Seunghee pops her gum loudly, giving me a glare. She didn’t seem to like me for some reason, although I don’t remember doing anything nasty to her. I try to avoid her gaze and focus on Ms. Hyuna’s lecture for the rest of the lesson. Even though Seunghee quietly glared a hole into my head, I managed to take better notes in just one class than in the past few weeks.

 

“Careful, Hwitaek, it’s hot,” My mother reminds me as I set down the bowls of rice on the table. I place each bowl down with caution and take my usual seat next to Hyunggu, who seems unnaturally quiet today. I squeeze his hand under the table, and he gives me a small, reassuring smile. My father coughs in front of us, and we pick up our chopsticks, ready to eat.

“Wait, children,” My father says, and Hyunggu and I exchange a look before lowering our hands. He seems nervous, but a smile from our mother reassures him. I’ve seen him anxious before, but never as bad as this. 

“Your mother and I have something to tell you,” He says, trying to give us a smile, “I… I recently stopped drinking.” 

I pretend to be surprised, raising my eyebrows. I knew he was going to tell us eventually. I look over to Hyunggu, who’s beaming like the sun. I let out a silent sigh of relief. Seeing a genuine, cheery smile on him is more reassuring than the pathetic one he gave me before. 

My mother places a hand on my father’s shoulder proudly, and Hyunggu starts congratulating him politely. I nod along as well, adding a few words here and there. The atmosphere around the table feels much cozier, and for once, it feels like we’re actually eating as a family. 

Hyunggu starts asking questions, and my father tells us a bit about how he stopped. The bar he usually drank at hired a new employee, a young man about my age, maybe older than me. He reminded my father of me and convinced him to quit drinking after my father told him about his family. I smile, wondering what kind of employee would convince their customer to stop going to their bar. Probably a kind one.

Hyunggu gets excited after that and starts asking more questions, all of which I tune out. I excuse myself from the table and go to my room. I sink into my swivel chair and sigh. I have a lot of chemistry homework to catch up on.

 

I swing my legs over the bench and under the table, taking bites of my sandwich. I’m still in a pretty good mood from the good news my father had. Shinwon notes how cheery I seem, and I smile quietly in response. Changgu starts up a conversation about soccer, and I take the opportunity to look around. 

The cafeteria is still in a buzz about Jinho and Hongseok’s relationship. They seem happier than ever, piping into Changgu’s conversation. I haven’t seen anyone bother them about it, mostly because Hongseok would beat up anyone who dared to terrorize them. Yanan smiles from the corner, and although he doesn’t say anything, I note the way his hand sometimes bumps against Changgu’s while they eat and the way his head nearly leans on his shoulder. Elkie talks on her phone, but half heartedly hooks her arm through Shinwon’s.

“Where’s Hyojong?” I blurt out before I could stop myself. All of them, except Elkie, look at me. Shinwon tilts his head to the side and thinks for a moment. The rest of them snort in laughter or try to conceal it weakly. I feel my cheeks heating up in embarrassment. I’m not sure why that thought popped into my head either. 

“I dunno, I haven’t seen him all day. He probably played hooky.” Shinwon replies nonchalantly and takes another bite of his lunch. Jinho, Yanan, and Hongseok give me knowing smiles that I make a point of ignoring. 

“Don’t worry, he’s probably just fine. It’s pretty normal, but it just hasn’t happened in a while, that’s all. If he’s gone as well tomorrow, I’ll check up on him,” Changgu assures me, and for some reason, it makes me feel more relieved. I nod in thanks and keep eating, hoping my cheeks will stop reddening. 

Shinwon gives me a confused look, one that says he’s trying to figure out what’s happening but can’t. He seems laughably clueless about everything that’s going on. I shrug at him, pretending not to know what Jinho and Hongseok are exchanging looks about. I wasn’t worried for Hyojong. Why should I worry?

 

“Hwitaek. We need to talk really quick.” Jinho says impatiently, Hongseok nodding in agreement with him. I turn to them, closing my locker door behind me. We could talk for a few minutes before we headed for the buses. I nod for him to go on, adjusting my backpack on my shoulders.

“We thought it was just a little project crush or something. Like, a fling you’ll get over after a week or so.” Hongseok says, putting a hand on my shoulder. I blink in confusion. Was this about Hyojong? This was unnecessarily cryptic. I laugh at their dramatic approach, but they keep their serious faces on.

“But it looks like things are getting serious with you and Hyojong. Hwitaek, I love you as a friend. I don’t want to see you get hurt by this guy.” Jinho said “this guy” like it was a curse word, a tinge of disgust in his voice. “I’m not saying he’s a bad guy, but don’t forget he has a reputation. Even Shinwon and the others keep their distance from him. I’m only tolerating him because we sit with him, you know, otherwise, I would have popped his face off already.” Hongseok continues, concern and anger evident in his tone. 

“Thanks, guys, but I know what I’m doing. I am pretty sure I don’t have a crush on Hyojong. He’s barely a friend to me. If he was one, he would talk to me, wouldn’t he?” I spill out my thoughts on him before I could think it through. Jinho and Hongseok look at each other before giving me what seems like expressions full of pity. 

I roll my eyes. These two are really insistent on their delusions. I think I’d know if I had a crush on someone. The only people who have crushes on each other without knowing are cliche couples in romantic comedies. I wave a silent goodbye to them and storm off to the buses. I’m getting a bit sick of their wild accusations. So what, I talked to Hyojong a few times. Big deal. It doesn’t mean there’s anything between us.

 

I perch on the edge of my piano seat, relaxing my arms at my sides. I should take a break. I’ve been playing nonstop since the moment I got home. I had a competition soon, I need practice up to speed if I wanted to win. I’m about to get up from the piano for a glass of water when someone knocks on my door. 

“Come in,” I reply, and Hyunggu pops his head in, a merry smile on his face once more. I can’t help but think wistfully about the last time he came into my room with a smile. It feels like months ago.

“Hwi… I gotta talk to you about something,” Hyunggu says as he sits on my bed. I leave my phone on the top of the piano, adjusting my position to talk to him better. “It’s serious this time,” Hyunggu adds on, a serious expression taking over his features. It doesn’t seem like the trick this time. 

“I want to do something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I’ve had a crush on Wooseok for heaven knows how long. I want to finally confess to Wooseok.” I can feel the warmth draining from my body. Hyunggu’s expression turns crestfallen when he sees my face, so I force a smile on. I mean, I already knew, and I’m totally fine with it except for the fact that he’s basically dating someone. Just when things seem to finally look up… 

“Uh, that’s great! I think you should… go for it if you want to.” I manage to choke out, blinking. Wooseok made me promise not to tell him. Hyunggu perks up again, oblivious to how I feel, and I can feel my heart sinking a bit more with each word he says. He seems as chirpy as Wooseok when he told me about his crush on that girl. 

“Oh, Hwi, I was so worried. I thought you were going to stop me, like Yuto.” Hyunggu says and sighs in relief. I keep my eyes on the floor. I feel terrible now. “Wooseok is free tomorrow, I think I’m going to do it then! Dad quitting alcohol made me feel like I can do anything.” Hyunggu stands up and pats me on the back lightly before leaving the room. I can’t help but feel like I’ve done something horribly wrong.

 

Hyojong isn’t here. His new spot next to Yujin is empty during chemistry class today. I take another bite of my food, chewing aggressively. I hope he gets caught for skipping class. I notice Jinho and Hongseok staring at me strangely when I look up. I turn to Shinwon instead, who’s trying to text with one hand while he ate.

“Hey Shinwon, wanna hang out sometime soon?” I ask, desperate to stir up some conversation. It’s so quiet that it’s suffocating. I was hoping school would be a nice distraction from Hyunggu. Shinwon faces me with a surprised expression. Changgu leans in, trying to listen in discreetly and failing. Shinwon puts down his fork and a grin appears on his face. 

“Sure, when should we hang out?” Shinwon asks, placing his phone down on the table as well. I glance at Changgu, who immediately turns and strikes up a conversation with Yanan. I spin back to Shinwon. “How about Sunday? We can hang out at the mall.” I respond, taking another bite of my food. 

“Hey babe, wanna come with?” Shinwon twists over to Elkie, who was texting on her phone quietly. She looks up, realizing everyone was looking at her and plasters on a smile. “Nah, I’ve got a thing. A family thing.” Shinwon nods, turning back to me. I catch a fleeting look of disappointment on his face before he grins again.

“Well, sure then. Let’s meet there then.” Shinwon says cheerily and goes back to his food. I hesitantly go back to eating. I’m not sure what just happened with Elkie and Shinwon. I should ask him about it later.

 

I blink awake from my position on the couch. Someone is ringing the doorbell aggressively. I must have fallen asleep on the couch while watching TV to distract myself from what Hyunggu was doing today. I’m not sure who it is because Hyunggu has his own key if he wanted to come in. I get up hastily, smoothing out my clothes before I open the door.

“Hwitaek-hyung, I’m sorry for ringing the doorbell so aggressively, but where’s Hyunggu? It’s an emergency!” Yuto asks flusteredly, panicked eyes darting around the room behind me. I take a deep breath, stepping aside and inviting Yuto in. “He hasn’t come home after school. I’m pretty sure he’s with Wooseok.” I keep my eyes on the floor as Yuto takes his shoes off politely and sits on the couch stiffly. 

“You know about Hyunggu, right?” I ask, although I already know the answer. He nods, looking as downcast as I feel. He already tried to talk Hyunggu out of it. “I tried to stop him. He wouldn’t listen though. He thinks I have a crush on him and I’m trying to sabotage him.”

My eyes widen as I take the seat next to him on the couch. This feels like a crappy rom-com love triangle or some sort of poorly-written fan fiction from a delusional fangirl. Yuto sighs tiredly. “It’s not like that at all. I just really treasure Wooseokkie and Hyunggu as friends, they are my only ones after I transferred here after all. I thought Hyunggu and I were just starting to get along too. I came here to try and stop him.” 

I nod, sinking back into the couch, the same spot I learned about Hyunggu’s crush on Wooseok. Yuto holds his head in his hands. I feel bad for Yuto. He just wanted his friends to be happy, I can tell how much he cares about the both of them. 

“There’s nothing we can do now. I didn’t stop him,” I say, and Yuto turns to me incredulously. “He has to face life. I rather have him confess and be heartbroken and move on than the alternative.” I continued, and Yuto nods in agreement. He stands up, and I follow him. 

“I guess Hyunggu’s going to want to be alone when he gets back,” I say, and Yuto hums in agreement softly. “I’m… sorry, hyung. I’ll come by tomorrow and check on him. I have to get home for dinner, my parents are expecting me.” Yuto’s expression looks gloomy, in contrast to the clear skies we keep getting lately. I tiptoe a bit and ruffle his hair in an attempt to cheer him up. 

“Don’t worry, Yuto-ah, I’ll keep an eye on him,” I say, in the most reassuring tone, I can muster. Yuto nods and gives me a sad smile before walking away. I close the door and let out a deep sigh. Maybe I should have done more for Hyunggu, instead of being selfish. I feel guilt washing over me like a cold tide. I put my own brother into this mess. I shut myself in my room and shiver. 

My skin is covered in goosebumps even though the house heater was on. I sit at my piano and pull out a few songs. I start playing, and when my mind started to wander after playing for what seemed like an hour, I got up and started to clean. I tidied my book, swept the floor and reorganized my closet. Anything to keep my mind occupied and away from the thought of Hyunggu.

At some point, I hear the front door open with a soft click, followed by the sound of someone chucking their shoes on the floor and sniffling. I head for my bedroom door, about to step outside when footsteps thunder past my room and into Hyunggu’s room next to mine. I stay still, listening to see what he was going to do. 

Barely audible whimpers and sniffles fill my ears. I find myself frozen, taunted by the ghostly weeping from next door. When I can find the strength to move again, I walk over to the piano stiffly, my eyes watery and my vision blurred. I rub my tears away hastily and dig through my books of songs before I find one of my oldest ones.

I haven’t touched this one since I was a beginner, and I can see the cover is laden with dust. I brush the dust off and flip through the book to the last page, a simple night lullaby. Hyunggu’s favorite when he was a kid. My mother would beg me to play it at night to lull him to sleep, and I gladly obliged like the good brother I am. 

I play it softly and slowly, my emotions whirling through the music. I embrace him like a warm blanket wrapped up around him, pleading him to stop crying. I sing along to the lyrics, gentle but loud enough so he could hear. He likes my singing as well. The music drowns out the sound of his sobs, and after a few minutes, I can barely tell if he’s still crying. 

I rest my fingers on the keyboard after the song, listening intently for any sound from his room. I’m about to play the song again when I hear soft snores, punctuated by an occasional sniffle. I spend the rest of the day practicing for my competition instead, playing scales until my fingers go numb.

 

I get up early the next day for my shift. I’ve gotten used to waking up early on Saturdays. I still feel dismal from yesterday’s events, don’t get me wrong, but there was nothing I could do for Hyunggu. He’s asleep, and I assume he’s going to stay asleep for the rest of the day. I can only hope he’s going to cheer up today, maybe with Yuto’s visit.

 

I slide into my apron at work, stocking up the new shipment of CDs. Taeyong and Jaehyun look at me as they talked near the back door of the back room. I brush it off as them being weird and carry the box of Japanese music to the front of the store. Johnny flickers through another magazine and turns on the radio. 

“Hey Hwitaek, where’s Hyojong?” Johnny shouted without lifting his head from his magazine. I put down the box on the floor, taking out the top half of the shipment. “Don’t know,” I reply coolly and clear my throat as I stacked it in. He’s been missing for a few days now, but Changgu had reassured me that he’s okay, so I can't be bothered to care. I am too busy to think about him. 

I finish unloading half of it and lift up the box again. The other half is going into the storage. I walk back over to the counter, where Johnny gives me a strange look. Something like pity. “What?” I ask sharply, slightly irritated that everyone kept giving me pitiful looks for no reason. 

“Did you two break up or something?” Johnny asks quietly, something I didn't know he could do. I roll my eyes and walk into the back room, shielding my eyes from whatever Jaehyun and Taeyong were doing on the couch. I file the other CDs away angrily, and I’m about to stomp out of the storeroom when Taeyong taps me on the back. 

“Hey dude, you’ve been acting off all day. Are you okay?” There it was again. Pity in his voice. I turn and sigh. I should make up some kind of excuse or they’ll assume it has something to do with Hyojong. “I have a piano competition coming up. I guess I'm stressed out from practicing.” I respond, keeping my eyes on the ground, hoping it’s enough to convince them. I mean, I am a bit worried about the piano competition, but Hyunggu is much more important. 

Taeyong nods, joined by Jaehyun. “I can tell you must have practiced a lot. I’m sure you’ll do great!” He says as he gives me a comforting pat on the shoulder. Jaehyun nods in agreement and wishes me good luck as well. I smile back at them. They really are nice people, nice enough to make me feel bad about lying. If I could choose, I’d worry about the piano competition but my mind keeps wandering to Hyunggu. Endless bad scenarios enter my head, and I excuse myself from the storeroom to clear my head.

I sit on the counter stool next to Johnny, who chews his gum as he texts on his phone. He hasn’t said anything to me since I sat down. I’m not sure if he’s even aware that I’m next to him. He glances up at the sound of the store bell ringing. Two girls peer at us through the rows of albums and records. Johnny smiles lazily and wiggles a few fingers, making them giggle. He nudges me and I force a smile on my face as well, even though I honestly can’t bring myself to act over the moon right now. 

They look through the American pop section, picking out boy band posters. Johnny nudges me again and gestures to their general direction. “You see that girl over there? The one on the right? Binnie told me she hooked up with a dude from your school apparently. Then she found out he has a girlfriend. Yikes.”

I grimace. That must suck. They start coming up to the counter, so I twist my expression back to a neutral one. I have no interest in talking to them, so I smile politely and scan their purchases as Johnny chats one of them up. The other one keeps staring at me with a weird smirk and plays with her hair. 

Johnny’s eyes flicker to me and discreetly nudges my knee with his knee. I realize she probably wanted to talk to me, so I talk about the first thing that comes to mind. 

“Hey… cupcake. You uh, come here often?” I try to mimic Johnny’s way of talking but I can see him facepalming from the corner of my eye. Well, I tried. The girl giggles and twirls her hair while shaking her head. Her friend rolls her eyes, picks up their shopping bag and drags her away. Johnny and I wave as they leave and the moment they exit the store, Johnny whips towards me. 

“Dude. What the hell was that?” He asks with a giant smirk, barely containing his laughter. I feel my cheeks reddening from embarrassment. “Hey, I tried!” I protested, and Johnny collapses into giggles. Johnny’s giggling is oddly comforting today, instead of annoying or embarrassing like usual. It’s nice to hear some laughter for once.

 

By the time I get home from my shift and buying some snacks for Hyunggu, I can tell Yuto has been around. I see his shoes in the doorway and distant muttering in Hyunggu’s room. I put down the bag of snacks in the kitchen. I’m glad Hyunggu at least has a friend to help him through it. 

Yuto walks out of Hyunggu’s room and sees me in the kitchen. I wave at him as he walks closer. “How’s Hyunggu doing?” I ask because Yuto’s expression seems weary. 

“He’s been moping all day. I had to reassure him I’m not dating Wooseok twice. I also had to wrestle his phone away from him a few times before he could make any rash decisions.” Yuto said with a sigh. I dig through the bag of groceries and hand him a small bag of candy. “Thank you for taking care of Hyunggu. He’s going through a lot.” 

Yuto blushes in embarrassment at my praise. He’s always so polite and modest. Hyunggu is the opposite of him in a lot of ways, he can probably learn a lot from him. I pick through the bag, taking out a few apples and bananas and setting them on the kitchen counter. I take out the cutting board as Yuto takes the candy back into Hyunggu’s room. 

I cut up the fruit carefully and split it into three bowls. Hyunggu seems to still be upset, clearly, but at least he stopped crying. I put away the cutting board and knife, balancing all three bowls in my hands. That’s good news. I walk down the hallway, announcing my arrival and nudge Hyunggu’s door open with my knee.

I don’t go into Hyunggu’s room often, but its layout is pretty much the same as my room. His bed is on the left, his desk on the opposite side of the room and a bookshelf and dresser across from the door. He didn’t have a lot of clutter though, unlike me. His room is pretty plain, though a few pictures of him and his friends are hung around the room. The lights are on but dimmed slightly, casting the room in a meek glow, just enough so you can see in there.

Hyunggu is curled up on his bed, Yuto sitting on the side of his bed and patting him on the back. I note the mess of tissues on his desk and crushed tissue box on his bed. Hyunggu glances up at me, and I can see he’s a mess. His hair is mussed up, his eyes puffy and red, and he’s still dressed in his pajamas. I knew that Hyunggu tends to overreact sometimes, but something convinced me he was serious.

“Hwi… He rejected me.” Hyunggu whispers hoarsely, and I can see him sniffling. He looks down at the floor. I look at Yuto, who gets up and grabs the tissue box from the table. “I know.” I put down the bowls, handing one to both of them. Hyunggu places it on his bed and huddles under his blankets, sulking.

Yuto eats up nearly of all his fruit in a minute. He must have spent all day hanging out or cheering up Hyunggu. “He has a girlfriend. He told me he loved her, and I could barely tell him I love him before I ran away. Maybe if I realized I loved him a bit earlier, told him a bit earlier...” Hyunggu’s voice shakes as he speaks like he’s about to break down into tears any moment now. Yuto pats him on the back gently.

“It’s okay, Hyunggu,” I say softly. He shrinks back into the covers wordlessly. I sigh and start eating some of the fruit. He’s definitely still going to need some time to get back to normal, but that’s what I’d expect. I’ve never experienced anything like this, so I don’t know how to help him. 

“I told Wooseok to leave him alone for a while, so don’t worry about that,” Yuto whispers to me quietly. I nod in acknowledgment. Good thinking ahead, Yuto. I take his bowl and excuse myself, getting up to put them away in the kitchen.

I leave the bowls in the sink with a thud. I feel terrible after seeing Hyunggu’s state. This was similar to how Jinho dealt with his crush a few years ago, some tall soccer player with big ears from another school. Hyunggu seems even more of a mess this time, but I understood where he was coming from. Wooseok has been his inseparable best friend since, well, forever. 

Yuto walks into the kitchen timidly, his backpack on his back, hesitating before talking. “Hey, Hwitaek-hyung, my parents want me home for dinner now.” I nod understandingly. He has done more than enough by spending all day with Hyunggu. I haven’t even noticed that the day has already passed into the evening. Yuto still seems ashamed for leaving so soon, but I reassured him that he’s been a great friend as I see him out the door. 

I make my way quietly to Hyunggu’s room again. His bed is a mess, crumpled sheets and his pillow tossed across the room. He’s still huddling under the blanket and brooding. I sit on the edge of his bed, trying to get closer to him. Hyunggu doesn’t move from where he is, but he starts mumbling under his breath. 

“I guess I knew I didn’t have a chance from the moment I realized I loved him. I… didn’t know how to react, I guess. So I kept blaming Yuto, and he’s been dealing with it like a saint. But Yuto doesn’t understand. He hasn’t even had a crush before, much less had a chance to have his heart broken. Hwitaek, I… I want to be alone for a while.” He mutters, a slightly bitter tone in his voice. 

“Okay,” I answer with a weary smile, giving him a pat on where I assume his head is. I don’t really want to leave him alone like this, but giving him some space to think or just be alone will help him heal too. I move the untouched bowl of fruit from his bed to his table, and Hyunggu’s heartbroken eyes peek out at me from under the covers when I reluctantly close the door, teary and red. 

 

I lie in my bed, tossing around as I try to fall asleep. It’s so quiet that I can hear Hyunggu’s soft sobs from the other room, keeping me awake and feeling filthy for listening to it. Being rejected must hurt, especially when you’ve been longing for them for a while. I know heartbreak is a part of life, a pretty important part of growing up, but after seeing Hyunggu, I’m scared of it now. 

I’ve never experienced anything like it, especially not as serious as Hyunggu. Then again, I’ve never been in love or had a crush as strong as Hyunggu’s one on Wooseok. The best part of adolescence is falling in love, from the romantic descriptions of basically every romance novel I’ve read, at least. I turned to my left side. Hyunggu has finally stopped and gone to sleep. I feel my eyelids fluttering shut as I think about how great and how awful it would be at the same time to fall in love.

 

I wake up groggily, my mind foggy as I get out of bed. Light streams through my curtains as my eyes adjust to the sun. My phone chooses that moment to ring, so I clear my throat and pick it up quickly. 

“Hello?”

“Dude, it’s Shinwon. Are you free today?” I groan internally. I forgot I was going to hang out with Shinwon this weekend, with all the Hyunggu drama going on. 

“Uh yeah, you wanna grab lunch later? I’ll meet you at the mall entrance.” I reply, looking over to the clock hazily. It’s almost 1 already, but it’s a short bus ride to the mall, so I should be there in half an hour. 

“Okay. I’ll meet you there in half an hour?” He can conveniently read my mind, apparently.

“Mhm. See you there.”

“Bye.” With that, Shinwon hangs up. I sigh, padding to the bathroom quietly so I won’t disturb Hyunggu from his sleep. Actually, from the sounds of his tossing and turning, he’s probably awake. Our parents are probably out at church right now, so it’s just the two of us today.

I brush my teeth and get ready in the bathroom, changing into a nice shirt and jeans in my room. I peek into Hyunggu’s dark room, nudging him gently. His room reeks of despair and darkness, from how much he’s been brooding in his room. Hyunggu turns to me, raising an eyebrow at me. 

“I’m heading out for lunch. Can you handle the place by yourself?” I whisper as quietly as possible, getting a groan and a nod in return. I leave Hyunggu alone in his room as I shut the door after me. I sigh. Our parents haven’t bothered to ask him about it so far, staying warily out of his way. I should take notes from them.

 

I stand outside the main mall entrance. The mall is bustling with people on a Sunday afternoon, families and friends walking about and talking. Although I’m not socially awkward, I’m no Shinwon, and the large crowds made me a bit nervous. The sun is out today and it would be perfect if Hyunggu could come out and enjoy it too. Maybe taking his mind off of Wooseok will help him get over it. 

“Hey, Hwitaek!” Shinwon smiles and waves at me, beckoning me to follow him. I greet him in return, walking over to where he is. He’s dressed in a plain blue sweater and classy black jeans, perfectly smooth without a single rip. Shinwon looks glad to see me for some reason. I think we’re on our way to being great friends. 

When I walk up to him, he gives me a side hug and starts telling me about a great noodle shop in the mall. He asks me if I’d like to go with him, and I nod contently in reply. I have no better suggestions really because I rarely come to the mall. I preferred strolling down the downtown streets to the shopping centers. 

We walk together to the restaurant, Shinwon talking casually about his weekend and playing soccer with his friends. I begin to notice some stares people were giving us. Shinwon is popular for a few reasons, mainly because he’s handsome, but also because he’s notorious for being a player. 

In fact, as far as I can remember, Elkie is the first girl he’s dated for over a month. That reminds me of a rumor I overheard about him on the school bus. I’ve never had the opportunity to ask Shinwon about it, but I heard that he cheated on his last girlfriend and hooked up with someone from another school. Now that I keep thinking about it, it seems like a horrible thing Shinwon would never do, but he does have a reputation for being a player. Maybe I should ask him about it today if I can. 

“Yeah, Changgu told me to- Ah, we’re here!” We head inside the restaurant and sit across each other. The noodle shop is small, with mood lighting and small tables, but it isn’t shabby. We order our food and Shinwon pulls out his phone. I decide now would be a good time to chat. 

“Hey, Shinwon, can I ask you about something?” I ask, trying to appear casual so he wouldn’t freak out. He nods, putting down his phone on the table and looks at me eagerly. I feel kinda bad for asking about it now, but getting the rumors cleared up is better right?

 

“Well, uh, I’ve heard this weird rumor about you so I wanted to ask you about it.” I fidget with my hand under the table. Shinwon rolls his eyes, a smirk crawling on his face. “A lot of people spread weird stuff about me, to the point where I’m used to people asking about it.” I sigh silently in relief. 

“Well… The rumor is that you hooked up with someone else while you were dating someone before Elkie…” I trailed off and Shinwon’s expression changes. He looks more remorseful now, folding his arms on the table solemnly. Looks like it might be true then, from how much he looks like a guilty puppy. 

“I… Yes. That one is true.” Shinwon says quietly, avoiding my eyes and staying silent. I was half hoping he would say that it isn’t true, that people just made up rumors about him. I just started being friends with him, we did have a few things in common. I don’t know if I can look at him the same way again; I mean, cheating is a pretty messed up thing to do.

“I honestly think I have a problem, Hwitaek,” Shinwon says, eyes wide and honest. He seems truthful, leaning closer to me. I look at him with pity. I believe he’s a good person though. He’s been nothing but sweet with Elkie. “I have a cheating problem. I think the only reason why I haven’t done it to Elkie is that I think of her too much as like… a sister? We never really get intimate because of… her issues,” I give him a nod to go on and he looks down at the table, sighing. 

“But I really care about her in a platonic way. Plus, she’s been distant lately. I don’t know how to talk to her properly.” Shinwon pauses, drinking a bit of water from his glass in front of him. I lean back, processing this information slowly. It all makes sense now. Why Shinwon and Elkie seemed distant at times, why she seems to only tag along out of obligation, but also why they can get along fine when they have to. I’m glad he isn’t cheating on Elkie though.

“Actually, that makes a lot of sense. I think by not cheating on Elkie, you’re already improving. I guess the only way to find out why she’s being so distant is to just straight up talk to her. Even if you’re asking as a friend, I think she’ll really appreciate you listening to her.” I don’t give advice very often, but from Shinwon’s amazed expression, I seem to be doing it just fine. I thought I sounded a bit bossy or too matter-of-fact.

To my surprise, Shinwon chuckles softly instead of getting mad. His infamous temper might just be exaggerated through the grapevine. “I can’t believe you’re still single. You sound like a damn marriage counselor.” 

I blush out of embarrassment and take a sip of water to calm my nerves. Luckily, our food arrives so we both dig into our noodles. It’s pretty tasty, although I’m not surprised, with Shinwon’s great taste in practically everything. We finish the noodles quickly and sit around to talk for a bit more.

“I’ve been thinking about breaking up with her, but I don’t know if I can bring myself to do it. Trust me, if it’ll spare her more pain later, I’d do it.” Shinwon puts his head in his hands. I pat him on the arm soothingly. “It’s wrong to keep leading her on, you know that,” I tell him firmly, crossing my arms. I feel bad for Elkie, who seems to be a genuinely nice girl.

Shinwon looks up and nods weakly. A few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have imagined I would be comforting one of the most popular boys at school in a noodle shop, but here I am. I feel like I’ve changed a lot, although I’m not sure what started the change.

“I’ll… try to talk to Elkie about it. You know, I haven’t told anyone about this whole… Elkie thing. I feel much better after telling you though like at least I can talk to someone about this.” Shinwon says with a small laugh, looking away to the side. I grin as well. I didn’t expect Shinwon to come to me about this. 

Then again, I noticed that since Changgu and Yanan are close and Hyojong has been away lately, Shinwon definitely looks lonelier. I guess there’s always a way to feel lonely, no matter how popular you are or how many people you’re surrounded by. 

“Oh yeah, Hwitaek, I heard from Hyojong that you’re working at the CD shop full of hot guys now.” Shinwon smirks and all signs of his previously vulnerable expression are all gone. His mention of Hyojong makes my gut turn, but I roll my eyes and nod in response. “The music teacher wants me to work there every Saturday for a while like an internship or whatever.” Does everyone think of Taeyong and the others as “hot guys”?

Shinwon huffs. “Well, I don’t see a reason why I wasn’t invited to go along. I’m an expert pianist.” I struggle to hold in my laugh. It’s great Shinwon liked the piano though. I might play my piece for him one day and see what he thinks. Rehearsing with a partner again might be fun, especially if they play the piano, so they can critique me.

Shinwon and I sat there for another while, chatting about the piano. Turns out he’s more of a classical music person, unlike me. I enjoy playing pop songs with more upbeat tunes, although mastering classical music is a definite part of learning an instrument. After half an hour, we leave the shop, strolling around the mall before we part our ways.

I stop by the convenience store on the way home, buying a can of soup and some chocolate for Hyunggu. I guess I should do all I can. My mom texts me, saying that she and dad needed to visit our relative in the next town over and stay overnight because of an emergency, so I hurry home to cook some dinner for Hyunggu and me.

 

Hyunggu and I eat a simple meal that I found the recipe for in one of the magazines laying around the house. Hyunggu plays with his food and takes long slow bites. It’s awkward when there’s no chatter at the table or from the TV, so I talk to him a bit about hanging out at the mall today. 

Hyunggu seems disinterested, mostly because he isn’t listening at all. He hides back in his room when he’s done, and I clear away the plates for him. Hyunggu is much better than yesterday. He looks more in thought and tired than depressed at this point.

 

It’s too late to practice the piano without disturbing anyone, so I do my homework instead for the rest of the night. Soon enough, it’s late and Hyunggu’s snores start drifting through the wall. I pack up my books, turn off the light and crawl into bed. It’s been a long weekend, and I can feel myself drifting off to sleep before I can even adjust my pillow. I just hope the next week isn’t as depressing as this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AND IM SORRY FOR ABANDONING YOU GUYS TUT  
> the honest story is that my dad started making me work at his office for the summer and im spending every day there so i dont have a lot of time to write;; im sorry guys please forgive me i wrote an extra long chapter to make up for it TT the thought of you guys waiting for me is what keeps me pumped to roll out each chapter!!!  
> thank you for all your support, especially youngjaehyuns ilysm thanks for being the og support dude!!!!!
> 
> i have no idea when the next chapter will be out if im gonna be honest with you. school starts in like two weeks for me so i guess i have to live it up before then. the next chapter might be a bit shorter, but we're nearing the end of the story guys, so hang in there!
> 
> something very great will happen next chapter, just keep an eye out ;))  
> heres a sneak peek:  
> I can't believe what I'm seeing. I nearly drop the bags I'm holding as I back away from them, my arms shaking. I can feel my jaw drop to the floor when they see me, [REDACTED] stumbling up and walking to me, yelling something my ears block out. What the hell is going on?
> 
> i hope that'll keep you hooked until the next chapter~ if you're a follower of my twitter, you'll probably know what's going to happen next chapter hehehe
> 
> find me on twitter:
> 
> [@nochilluniverse](https://twitter.com/nochilluniverse)
> 
> if you enjoyed this chapter, leave a kudos/comment/bookmark! have a great day you lovely people!


	12. Chapter 12

“But are you sure about that?” Shinwon wonders and I roll my eyes. Hongseok and Changgu are playing soccer on the field with the other guys, Yanan and Jinho are chatting in the shade, leaving Shinwon and me to lounge on the side of the soccer field and talk for a moment. 

“Yes. For crying out loud, Shinwon, you should just break it off before your situation gets worse.” I say, taking a sip of water from my water bottle. Shinwon stares into the distance and hums. “I guess so.” Elkie was lounging on the other side of the soccer field with her friends, seeming content. It does seem terrible to break up with her for no reason. I glance at Shinwon, who has his eyes closed and head tilted backward. It must be hard to make that decision. 

 

I breeze through the rest of classes. Hyojong has strayed far away from my mind, only visiting on occasion when I let my mind go blank. The persistent feeling of emptiness has mellowed out to a soft buzz recently, with so many other events stirring up my life. Class ends, and when I’m about to climb onto the bus, I spot a figure lurking near the school gates, staring at me. 

The figure turns away, and I wonder if it could be him. The height seems about right, with messy brown hair and that stare. I walk out of the school to follow the figure, the courtyard buzzing with chatter. People give me glances and stares, but I keep walking with my head down and ignore them. I’m not in the mood for their chatter, especially right now when I feel my blood light up with fire at the possibility. I approach the school gates and creep outside, turning the corner when I bump into the figure. 

He’s cloaked in a black jacket draped over his shoulders, a plain white shirt and a white cast on his left arm. He’s wearing his signature black ripped jeans, messy brown hair framing his face and black sunglasses that reflects my expressionless face.

I close my eyes, turn around and start walking away. I’m not dealing with this. I’m not talking to him after he just disappeared like that. A flurry of thoughts run through my head and all I know for sure is that I shouldn’t be as affected as I am right now.

“Hwitaek.” His voice rings out against the choruses of rambles in my head and in a moment of weakness, I pause. He sighs, striding over to face me. I bite my lips and glare at the floor. I’m not going to say anything.

“Hwitaek, I’m sorry. I know it was dumb of me to just disappear like that, but trust me, I… didn’t want to.” Hyojong mumbles, using his good hand to scratch the back of his head sheepishly. What he’s saying sinks in and I feel my emotions settling in. Hurt and confusion swim around in my head. I look up at him, keeping my frown and silence. He can’t expect me to forgive him on the spot like that, can he? My eyes wander to his cast. 

I reach out and touch it, running my fingers over the white plaster. Maybe Hongseok and Jinho were right. Normal people don’t break their arms and ghost their friends for a week, do they? I look up at him, silently asking him about it with a pointed look as I retract my hand.

“It’s a long story.” He turns his head towards the ground, avoiding eye contact with me. I sigh. I don’t know how much longer I can stand his lies. Or whatever he’s saying. It’s obviously not the truth at all.

“Hyojong. I’m getting tired of this,” I cross my arms and furrow my eyebrows, glaring at him. “I’m getting sick of whatever this is. I can’t believe anything you say anymore. Can you be honest with me for once?” I watch him rake his fingers through his wispy halo of hair, contemplating in silence. He bites his lip, the sunglasses concealing his eyes from me.

I roll my eyes. I knew he wouldn’t come clean like the others said. Honesty is an important part of any friendship and if he can’t uphold that, I’m better off without him in my life, aren’t I? “Then I have nothing to say to you.” I push past him and start walking away.

“Hwitaek!” He grabs my arm with his good hand, pulling me back. “I… I’ll tell you everything.” I look at him with suspicion. He rips off his sunglasses and stuffs them in his pocket with a sigh. 

“Can you just follow me somewhere?” I’m about to protest when he adds on that I’ll be unharmed. I think about his offer for a moment. I have no idea where we’re going, and I’m pretty sure trusting him might not be the best idea, but I’m too pumped up on adrenaline to think about the aftermath. I nod my agreement and he starts dragging me across the street, zipping in between people, who merely look like blobs of color than people. 

Before I can even think of a coherent sentence, he grabs my hand and we run down a damp, dark alley. His jacket whips around behind him and he gives me a faint smile. It soothes me for some reason, his warm hand bringing me ease. We burst out the other side of the alley and pause to catch our breaths. 

Hyojong drops my hand to dig in his pocket and shove his sunglasses on, strange because it was the middle of winter. He motions for me to follow him down the street. I look around, noticing that I’m in a somewhat unfamiliar environment. Numerous ads are posted on the doors of closed down shops, tough looking smokers standing in front of sleazy looking apartment buildings and police officers patrolling at the street corner. We pass some tall muscular men who give us stares and I instinctively walk closer to an indifferent Hyojong. 

He doesn’t seem phased at all. Although I wouldn’t consider my family rich, we were decently well off, enough to live in one of the better areas of town. I realize that I really don’t know much about Hyojong’s family as we keep walking down the street, police sirens ringing in the distance. Hyojong turns to glance at me and stops in his tracks in front of what seems to be a bar. 

_El Dorado_ was what the sign on top of the door said. It was painted in black and gold with a sleek looking design, although it looks dusty and smeared with rain. The sign hanging on the door said closed, but Hyojong produces his keyring from his pocket and jiggles it around to find the right one.

Was this his secret? That he owns a bar on the south side of town? I watch as he swings it open and beckons me towards him. I follow in hesitantly, finding the bar empty and only lit by two lamps in the corners. It looked better than I thought it would, with cozy tables and chairs and a stylish drink bar on the left. 

“What is this place?” I mumble, mostly to myself as Hyojong unlocks another door to the backroom. He pulls me in without an answer and I find myself in a completely new room, a large table in the center and three men sat around it, counting what seemed to be money and stacks of paper.

The three of them look up at Hyojong and me, giving me strange looks. The man on the left has a shorter build compared to the other two men, but he had kittenish smirking eyes and curly black hair that was cut neatly. The man on the right has gelled black hair, dimples on his cheeks that showed when he frowned and eyes that seemed to be staring into nothing but right at you at the same time.

The man in the middle is the shortest, but not by a lot. He had a round but chiseled jawline, eager eyes lined with black and a seemingly permanent smirk on his small lips. He stands up with a smile full of charm, skirting around the table to where Hyojong and I are standing. He’s wearing a black collar shirt, fitted black pants and black loafers, a formal picture covered in black.

“Hyojong! Who’s this?” The man beams at Hyojong, giving me a nod of acknowledgment. I smile back and look at Hyojong with panic. Who the hell is this? I have never seen this person before in my life, but Hyojong greets him with a handshake and hugs like they’ve known each other forever. Hey, maybe they have, I can’t know for sure.

“This is Hwitaek. Hwitaek, Baekhyun. I’m just showing him around the bar and I’ll get him out of your hair in five minutes.” Hyojong says, casually draping an arm around my shoulder as if it was the most normal thing in the world. I tremble involuntarily, feeling a red rise in my cheeks. The man, Baekhyun, looks me up and down carefully, eyes squinting at my bag. His lips twitch as if he’s about to grin, but he starts speaking instead, pressing his lips into a small smile. 

“Fine, you know I can’t say no to you, Hyojong. Just make sure your little friend gets out of here in one piece.” Baekhyun ruffles Hyojong’s hair, giving me a toothy grin before spinning around and sitting back at the table. When he turns around, I spot a large scar sporting from the top of his neck, slithering down into his black shirt. I wince at the sight of it. 

The skittish looking man chuckles to himself and flips the page of whatever he’s reading. The men at the table are wearing nearly identical outfits to Baekhyun. The stoic looking man clears his throat and looks at Hyojong, who grins and drags me outside the room, arm still draped on my shoulder. He shuts the door gently behind us and tugs me along to a booth.

We sit across each other on brown leather sofas, a plain black table separating us. I look around us with awe, seeing antique lamps on the sides of every booth and the wooden floor polished so cleanly you could nearly see your reflection. I look back at Hyojong, who was staring at me with a blank look on his face. 

“Hyojong,” I say, bringing him back to attention. “Yeah?” Hyojong hummed, drumming his fingers on the table absentmindedly. He seemed deep in thought, but he also seemed to be listening. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” I cross my arms and lean on the table, giving him my most intent stare. I needed to know. Friends aren’t supposed to keep gigantic secrets from each other. I haven’t even had time to piece together what this place is.

“Okay, okay,” Hyojong replies, removing his sunglasses and placing it on the table gently. I watch on in anticipation as Hyojong starts to speak. “There’s one thing I have to say before I start. You’re privileged, Hwitaek. You live in a nice neighborhood, have your own piano at home, eat good food and your parents love you. That’s more than anyone could ask for.”

I swallow and break my gaze for a moment, uneasily. It’s true that I had a lot of nice things and lived quite comfortably. I feel guilty about not understanding Hyojong’s situation now, but a small voice in my head reminds me that he’s here to explain it now.

“Hwitaek,” Hyojong reaches out, putting his hand in the middle of the table to get my attention. I look back up reluctantly and decide I need to know the rest of the tale. I nod for him to continue and he does. “I’m not like you, Hwitaek. My mom barely makes enough to keep our place running and on top of that, she’s taking night classes. When she’s not studying, she’s… working.” Hyojong looks down at the table, pausing to cough. 

I look at him incredulously. He’s never mentioned his mother before. I had no idea what his family or living situation was like. My fingers twitch involuntarily at my sides as if instinctively wishing to comfort Hyojong. Hesitantly, I extend my arm across the table, placing it on top of Hyojong’s. He looks up with uncertainty, vulnerability filling up his features as I realize just how intimate this moment is. 

It feels like a relief, a conclusion, a finish to everything. Everything I’ve wondered about was going to come to light, from Hyojong’s own mouth. This kind of confidence in me, coming from Hyojong, is strange, but it just goes to show how much he trusts me. He looks so delicate that it felt like you can shatter him into a million shards with a single brush of your fingertips.

It made me want to hold him close, tell him everything was going to be fine and soothe him until he feels better. It makes me feel strangely protective of him, hoping that nothing would ever harm a hair on his head and swear to defend him until the end. This unspoken feeling curls up inside me and warmth seeps through my body, from the tips of my toes to the ends of my hair. It feels so overwhelming that I’m sure Hyojong could feel it through our fingers or see it highlighted on my face.

The corners of his lips turn up like he just read my mind, and flips his hand to interlace his fingers with mine. It didn’t feel particularly romantic, just comforting and personal, as if our souls had connected. I could feel myself smiling as well, bubbling with this feeling I didn’t know how to name.

“Hwitaek…” Hyojong says, eyes looking down at his side of the table solemnly. I lean in, worrying about what he was going to say. “I haven’t told you the full story yet.” He says, sighing. “Keep going then,” I blurt out without realizing. Hyojong looks up in amusement and nods with a chuckle.

“So, I had to work as well to feed my mom. These jeans didn’t come ripped, you know. I spent a lot of time out looking for jobs, until I landed a gig at this bar, uh, cleaning up. I worked late, and I usually skip sleep to get to school.” Hyojong gestures with his other hand at the drink bar. I glance over at the inconspicuous looking drink bar. Cleaning up at a bar didn’t seem too bad, and I understand how Hyojong’s sleep schedule would definitely be messed up from it. 

“I understand,” I say, relaxing my shoulders as I let the truth sink in. I felt guilty for judging him now, based on what people said about him, especially Jinho and Hongseok. They’ve got it all wrong. “Wow, Jinho and Hongseok really made you out to be some sort of gang member.” I laugh, and Hyojong chuckles while rolling his eyes. His fingers slip away from mine, and he gets up, motioning me to come along. My fingers feel cold without his hand in between them.

“I’ll walk you home. I have work later.” Hyojong says, stuffing on his sunglasses again. I nod, still in awe of what he does for his mother. We walk out of the bar, but I can’t help but get a persistent feeling that something was wrong as the doorbell chimed on our way out of the dusty bar. 

 

“How’s everyone at school?” Hyojong says, putting his hands in his pockets as we walk and talk down the street. The sky was starting to grow dark as the sun set, a very faint pink starting to taint the sky. I could have sworn we spent only a few minutes together. “They’re doing okay. Changgu and Yanan seem fine, Jinho and Hongseok are better than ever and I guess I’m starting to talk to Shinwon more.” I reply, with a small shake of my head. Poor Shinwon. I hope he was going through with dumping Elkie.

Hyojong laughed at the last part of my reply. “Wow, I never thought you’d be close to Shinwon.” I smile in response. “He’s actually not that bad you know.” I defend Shinwon for a moment, though I could see why Hyojong would consider us unlikely friends. We approach my place as the sky turns purple. 

We stand outside the door for a quiet moment. I could hear the TV on, probably being watched by Hyunggu, and my mom cooking dinner. I fish in my pockets for the key when I get an idea. “Hey Hyojong, why don’t you grab dinner with us?” I ask with a smile, as I pull out my keyring. Hyojong ponders for a moment, pulling out his phone to check the time. I’ve never noticed what kind of brand he used before, although, upon closer inspection, it’s a cheap one.

“Uh, sure. I’ll get Baekhyun to pick me up later.” Hyojong stuffs his phone back in his pocket and rakes his fingers through his hair in an attempt to brush it out. It didn't work, but I appreciated the attempt. I smile as I unlock the door and kick off my shoes at the doorway. Hyojong does the same and follows me inside. 

The first thing I notice is that Hyunggu wasn’t on the couch. There was nobody on the couch, but the television was on. Pretty unusual for Hyunggu, but I could understand why. Hyojong peers around the living room with curiosity. I don’t think he’s been to my place before. I motion for him to follow me into the kitchen, where my mom is chopping up food and boiling soup.

“Hey mom, this is Hyojong.” I introduce him to my mother, who looks up, placing down the knife and smiles at Hyojong. “Nice to meet you! Would you like to stay for dinner?” My mom asks, wiping off her hands on her apron. Hyojong nods shyly, the first time I’ve seen him done so, and my mom chuckles at his shyness. “Mom, where’s Hyunggu?” I ask, washing my hands at the sink and putting my things down. 

“Your brother has been holed up in his room ever since I got home. Can you check on him for me?” My mom asks, and I nod in response. Hyojong looks between my mother and me for a moment, before asking my mom if he could help prepare dinner. I’ve never seen such a soft side to Hyojong before.

I walk down the hall, creeping as quietly as I could to Hyunggu’s room. Once I reached the door, I heard sounds that sounded like whimpers and mewls. Was he crying again? “Hyunggu, you okay? Can I come in?” I ask with concern as I knock. Hyunggu shuts up immediately, and I take it as a sign to go in. I open his bedroom door cautiously, to see Hyunggu swathed in covers without a shirt on and staring at me with wide eyes.

“Hyung! I didn’t- Oh whatever. What is it?” Hyunggu huffs, avoiding my gaze. His face is red and his hair was matted with sweat. “Hyunggu, you look so red! Do you have a fever?” I reach out and put the back of my hand on his forehead. It burned. I glanced around to see tissues scattered about. Looks like Hyunggu was sick.

“Hyung! Get out. I’m fine, just leave me alone!” Hyunggu says, in a tone that seemed like embarrassment and pushes my hand away, dropping the covers in the process. I spot a few red marks on his neck and shoulder and move closer to inspect it. “Hyunggu, did you hurt yourself?” I ask, and Hyunggu pushes me back with flaming cheeks, insisting they were bug bites. “HYUNG. GO AWAY, I'M FINE!” He shouts, demanding that I get out of his room. I give into his pleads and leave the room, closing the door behind me. What a weird kid. I’ll make sure to make him some soup later. 

I walk into the dining room, where the plates were already set. I peer into the kitchen to see my mother and Hyojong chatting about something cheerily. Hyojong seemed so domestic and nice that I nearly forgot it was Hyojong that was cooking dinner with my mother. “Hey, Hwitaek, come set out the food with me,” Hyojong calls out to me, spotting me standing in the doorway. I nod and walk in, grabbing bowls of rice as Hyojong gets the soup. 

“Dude, your mom is really nice,” Hyojong says in a hushed tone, setting down the food. I do the same and nod to his statement. That was true, my mother had a way with people that I’m sure Hyunggu had inherited. I look over to Hyojong when I realize he had an ugly yellow wolf apron on. It matched mine, and it was probably an extra one my mom had around, but I couldn’t help but laugh. 

Hyojong rolls his eyes in response and my mother brings out the rest of the food, commanding Hyojong to call my brother out for dinner. She starts gushing to me about how sweet Hyojong was after he sets off, and I smile politely through her rambling. My mother had something nice to say about everyone, but I’ve never heard her gush so much before.

We grab a seat at the table as Hyojong returns with a gush of excitement. He slips into the seat next to me and leans over to my ear. “Dude, who’s fucking your brother? He’s covered in hickeys.” Hyojong laughs into my ear, and I start choking. How did I not realize? I did not need that mental image. I was about to reply when Hyunggu walks in, a scarf tied around his neck. 

Hyojong and I proceeded to muffle our laughter when my mother asks about the scarf, to which Hyunggu replies is for fashion and give us dirty, blazing glares. We start to eat when the door unlocks with the arrival of my father. “Ah, my dad’s home,” I announce, and Hyojong finishes his bite of food before putting down his bowl and looking expectantly at the figure in the door. 

My father approaches the table with a smile when his eyes catch on Hyojong and widen. Hyojong’s expression turns to one of shock as well, and I make eye contact with Hyunggu, who seems just as confused. “Uh, Hyojong?” I ask, nudging his side. He blinks, before opening his mouth to speak. “Mr. Lee?”

 

My father’s expression turns back into a face of soft happiness. “Hyojong. I can’t believe it.” I look between the two of them in confusion and look at my mother, who seems just as bewildered. “Mr. Lee, I see you’re doing a lot better,” Hyojong says cheerily, reaching out to shake his hand as my father sits down across him with a grin. It’s the happiest I’ve seen him in days. “I can’t believe you’re friends with my son, Hyojong! What a small, small world. Hyunggu, Hwitaek, Hyojong here was the one who convinced me to stop drinking.”

 

I blink in disbelief, the weight of the information sinking in a moment afterward. “Hwitaek, I didn’t know your dad was Mr. Lee. Wow, this makes a lot of sense.” Hyojong runs his fingers through his hair, and I stare at him. “Hyojong, feel free to eat as much as you want here. Heck, you can even stay the night if you’d like!” My dad announces heartily as he grabs the food. Hyojong voices his thanks and copies my dad, starting to eat. I have never felt so confused before.

“Uh, am I the only one who has no idea what’s going on?” Hyunggu asks, brows furrowing at a loss. I shake my head in disagreement. “Basically, when I was working, I met your dad. He was a regular at El Dorado, and we started chatting after a while. I managed to change his mind about drinking once he told me how to hurt you guys felt.” Hyojong explains, and I stare at him blankly. This seemed so far-reached, like some sort of twisted take on this story. 

“Well, okay then.” Hyunggu picks up his bowl and starts eating like nothing was wrong. I watch in disbelief as my mom does the same. What? “This is so wild. Why aren’t you guys reacting to this? This obviously seems weird!” I exclaimed, looking around the table. Hyunggu shrugs. “Just accept it, Hwitaek. The world is freakishly small.” I roll my eyes. I’ve lost my appetite after that bizarre discovery. Why did it seem like Hyojong knew everyone I was close to without me having a single clue?

Dinner passes like a breeze after that, with my dad and Hyojong chatting up a storm. I’m still processing the news as I walk Hyojong out to the front door. He had declined my mother’s offer to sleep over and explained that a friend was picking him up. Was Baekhyun really a friend? My dad shouted again that Hyojong was welcome to come by at any time and stay for dinner as Hyojong slips on his shoes.

“Wow Hwitaek, your family is really nice,” Hyojong says, and for a moment I swear I could’ve detected a hint of jealousy. I mean, my family really was nice. Hyojong seemed like he would fit in with them very well. Maybe even more than I did. “Well, you heard my dad. You can come by anytime, you know where it is.” I smile in response, and I spot Baekhyun watching us from a distance away. An impulsive feeling comes over me, urging me to grab hold of Hyojong and pull him back into the house, but I stay rooted to where I was.

“Mhm.” Hyojong hums stiffly in agreement, seeing Baekhyun as well. Baekhyun waves at him, but stays stoic in his black clothes and stands calmly. I feel half relieved that he doesn’t come up to the door. “I’ll get going then. Thanks for the meal, Hwi.” Hyojong says earnestly, giving me another look before turning and heading down to the shadows where Baekhyun was waiting. I wave a final goodbye before closing the door, a queasy feeling rumbling in my stomach. I wonder if that was a metaphor for something.

I turn back into the house, where my father motions me to join him on the couch. He seems to be in a good mood, perhaps from seeing Hyojong? I glance at the kitchen to hear Hyunggu washing the dishes with my mother. I grab a seat next to my father, somewhat awkwardly. I still felt a bit awkward around him, but it wasn’t overbearingly awkward. 

“Hwitaek, where did you meet Hyojong?” My father asks in a low, cautious tone. “School?” I reply uncertainly, unsure of his motives. I thought he would be more enthusiastic about it, seeing as it was about Hyojong. “Mhm, okay. I was just curious.” My father says simply, and I get up to head to my room. 

His story lines up with Hyojong’s one, as far as I could tell. Hyojong working at the bar, convincing my dad to quit and my dad going through the withdrawal phase, and present time. I really wish there was a way for Hyojong to live comfortably without working, but it seems to be beyond me. I feel guilty about working at the CD store, a nice and clean store, just for fun and the experience. Perhaps I should talk to Taeyong about hiring Hyojong.

I twist over under my covers, prepared to sleep when I remembered what Hyojong said about Hyunggu. I twist my face with disgust. I really didn’t need that mental image, but was it true? Hyunggu had the marks to prove it, although I don’t think he would sleep with a rebound just after losing the love of his life. He just didn’t seem like the type. What kind of asshole would take advantage of a vulnerable person like that? I shake the thoughts away from my head. There was school tomorrow.

 

I made a point to talk to Hyojong before school started as everyone around us buzzed with gossip and stared at us. Jinho saw me talking to him and just sighed and turned away. I feel much more comfortable with Hyojong now, because of yesterday, but there’s an unresolved lingering feeling around him. He seems tired of being here, although the corners of his lips quirk up to reassure me every few moments.

The rest of the day speeds by, and at the end of chemistry class, Ms. Hyuna keeps Hyojong in to catch him up with work. I walk down the hallway as people mutter around me and I am confronted by stomping. I look up from the floor to see Hongseok glaring at me angrily, Jinho looking uncertain behind him. “Hwitaek. We have to talk.”

We slip into an empty and quiet corridor, standing between a grey wall and a row of lockers. “What is it, Hongseok?” I turn and cross my arms at him. It’s most likely about Hyojong. Now that I know the truth, I can’t believe that Hongseok would take some misunderstandings so seriously. Hongseok lets out a loud huff.

“Hwitaek, I know you think you like Hyojong,” Hongseok starts, and I interject with an “I don’t!” before he continues. “Yeah. He’s not who you think he is, Hwitaek. I’m just trying to protect you because I care about you and you’re my friend!” Hongseok exclaims, throwing his arms in the air.

He seemed genuinely distressed, angry brows and wide eyes searching my face for answers. Jinho hangs behind Hongseok with worried eyebrows, although he doesn’t say or do anything. I drop my arms to my sides and clench my fists. I know Hongseok is trying to help me, but it’s not the truth. Frankly, I’m shocked that Hongseok would defend his thoughts so strongly. It seems so out of character for him that there must be some sort of weird explanation for it.

“Hongseok, what exactly do you think you’re protecting me from?” I ask between gritted teeth. Hongseok takes a step closer in exasperation as if explaining something to me for the millionth time. “I’m protecting you from that cold-hearted, delinquent son of a-” He starts with a furious rant when he’s interrupted by a familiar high pitched voice.

“Who’s the cold-hearted delinquent son of a-” Hyojong starts as we all turn to him. He has a lazy smirk on his face and crosses his arms to finish his sentence. “Bitch?” He ends his sarcastic question with a tart tone. Hongseok’s face heats up in anger.

“You. You jackass. Don’t try and say you’re not a- a sadistic piece of crap.” Hongseok growls, and looks away, biting his lip to try and shut himself up as his fringe falls into his eyes. Hyojong inches closer to my side silently, giving him an icy stare. “What kind of proof do you have, Honggie? What have I done to you to make you so obsessed with me?” I’m sure all four of us could hear the venom dripping from his words as it echoed through the corridor.

“You left me, you asshole,” Hongseok mutters quietly, so softly that Jinho and I could barely hear. Hyojong’s eyes widen and I could tell he seems surprised at this bold statement as well. Before I can recall anything about Hyojong and Hongseok’s past, Hongseok’s strong arms lash out at Hyojong and push him up against a wall. 

“You left me behind, Hyojong. Do you know how hurt I felt?” Hongseok shouts, slamming his fist on the wall behind Hyojong. Hyojong seems stunned and doesn’t fight back as Hongseok starts sniffling. “You left me for those fucking cool delinquent kids. Didn’t I mean anything to you?” Hongseok says, quieter this time in a moment of weakness. I whip around to Jinho, who is staring with unbelieving eyes at the scene that was unfolding.

“H-hey, Honggie-” Hyojong starts to purr nervously when Hongseok cuts him off angrily. “Don’t fucking call me that.” Hyojong places his hands around Hongseok’s shoulders to push him off when Hongseok leans into his ear and whispers something that Jinho and I couldn’t hear. It’s an act so intimate that I feel sinful from just being in the same proximity as it. 

Hyojong’s face drains of color and looks right at Jinho and me. Hongseok falls to the ground and covers his face as his body shudders with emotions I can’t describe. “Get the fuck away from me!” Hongseok shouts hoarsely and Hyojong complies as he slips away into the main corridors with the last pitying glance. I can’t even begin to guess what he could have possibly whispered into his ear. 

“Please, Jinho. I can’t face you right now.” Hongseok whispers to Jinho as he frets over him. Jinho looks frustrated at him, but catches my gaze and looks at me pleadingly. “Hongseok, let me help,” I say, extending my hand to him. He gives me a vulnerable nod, and I pull him up to the bathroom.

 

“I loved him.” Hongseok croaks, in between splashes of water on his face. I stare at him. He stares back, puffy red eyes and tap water dripping down his features as the tap slows to a drip and stops completely. The fan continues whirring in the background but it feels like we’ve stopped time. 

“I just thought I should tell you,” Hongseok says in barely a whisper as he turns back to the sink, splashing some more cold water on his face and eyes. I hand him some paper towels silently. That explained a lot. “You should be telling Jinho this,” I say, hoping to come off as impartial but my voice shakes as it betrays me. 

“I know. I’m sorry you had to put up with me.” Hongseok says with a sigh as he wipes away the water on his face, throwing the wad of paper towels into the trash can. “It’s fine,” I reply, although I sound stiffer than I feel. Hongseok doesn’t mention it, so I assume he didn’t notice or care. I don’t know how I feel about this either.

 

I sit through the rest of lunch quietly with Yanan as Changgu and Shinwon grill Hyojong for details about his disappearance, which he chalks up to sickness. Jinho and Hongseok had disappeared, so I assume they were out talking about it. “How sick were you? You were out for like a week! It feels like so much stuff happens in a day.” Changgu exclaims, and Hyojong nods tiredly in response. I could tell he was getting worn out by Changgu and Shinwon’s hyperactiveness. 

“Hyojong, you seem pale. Are you okay?” Shinwon asks with concern and glances at Hyojong. “...Yeah,” Hyojong mumbles, before falling asleep on the table. Shinwon looks over to me, and I shrug as if I didn’t know what was wrong. Changgu looks between us and draws Shinwon into a conversation about milk candy. 

“Is Hyojong going to be okay?” Yanan asks quietly from my side. It feels like an eternity since I’ve talked to Yanan, but I’m always glad to hear his soft soothing voice. I turn to him and try to smile. “I don’t know but I sure hope so,” I reply honestly as Yanan returns the smile. He had a sweet type of smile, one that put me at ease, and I wonder now why I don’t talk to him nearly as much as I should. I made a promise to myself to text him sometime soon.

 

The rest of the school day passes, and I don’t see anything of Hongseok and Jinho. I assume they had sorted out their business and disappeared as they often did when they wanted to “talk” in private. I skipped the school bus, opting instead to walk downtown for work. It was a Tuesday; there weren’t nearly as much people scurrying away from school as compared to a Friday. 

I take my time and savor the light breeze that signaled the end of winter. A countless number of things had happened in the past two months or so, but it had passed so slowly that I couldn’t believe it had only been so little. Although most of the things that had happened could be chalked up to Hyojong and meeting him, I still feel that perhaps it has been fate’s doing, that it wanted me to go through all this.

I’ve reached quite a few blocks away from school when my phone jumps in my pocket, alerting me to a new text. I pull it out, taking a brief look to see that it was from Taeyong.

Lee Taeyong  
3:47pm  
Hey, Hwitaek, I nearly forgot to tell you that the store is closed for renovations because Johnny and Ten broke one of the shop windows a few days ago. Sorry for the inconvenience bro, I forgot. TT

I chuckle at the image in my head of Johnny throwing CDs through the front window, although I knew Taeyong was probably too soft to fire him for it. Oh well, I was halfway there to the CD store anyway in downtown. I might as well pick up some groceries for my mom.

 

I stroll with my cart full of today and tomorrow’s dinner when I remember bumping into Hyojong here. I had been so scared of him back then, although there was really nothing to be afraid of. I had let other people’s judgment influence mine way too much.

I place my groceries on the conveyor belt of the cashier and the cashier, a young teenaged girl who looked about my age, started to scan the items. My eyes wandered as she did that, and it happened to catch onto a sign hung up near the exit. “Now Hiring!” It announced, black letters striking against white.

“Hey, are you hiring?” I ask, the cashier rolling her eyes as she bags up the rest of my purchases. “Observant, aren’t you? That’ll be $43.” The cashier replies as I dig out my wallet and pay. I’m not thinking of leaving my job at the CD store exactly, but perhaps…

Before I can finish my thought, the cashier hands me my change and I shuffle out with my bags and groceries. I wonder for a moment whether or not I should walk home before a bus conveniently arrives at a bus stop a few feet away. I decide on the spot to board the bus and climb on.

 

I clamber off the bus quickly with my groceries and hurry to the front door. These are heavy bags and HYunggu could really give me a hand right now. Was he even home? I step up to the front door, putting down the bags softly to fish out my key. I’m not sure if Hyunggu was home, but I don’t think he had anything to do today. I don’t see him going out to party after all the Wooseok business either.

I’m about to unlock the door when I hear a soft whimper that sounded like Hyunggu crying. I notice then that the door wasn’t locked, so I pick up the groceries and head in gently not to scare Hyunggu if he was there. I can scold him about not locking the door later.

“Hyunggu, are you- oh.” I stop myself when my eyes adjust to the darkness of the living room and revealed what was happening. I can't believe what I'm seeing. I nearly drop the bags I'm holding as I back away from them, my arms shaking. 

Ko Shinwon. Debatably the most popular boy in school, star soccer player, one of my best friends. Currently dating Elkie Chong. Also currently dominating my brother on the couch of my house, his face buried in his neck and his hand tangled in his hair.

Hyunggu chokes out another mewl before noticing me after I drop the bags with a thud. He pales and pushes Shinwon off of him, wiping away at his own mouth as I stand there and stare in shock, the scene not even registering in my head.

I don’t think I can even move. I can feel my jaw drop to the floor when Shinwon sees me as well, Hyunggu stumbling up and walking towards me, yelling something my ears block out. 

What the hell is going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhh I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG OMG HDJSKFDLG I HOPE U ENJOYED THIS EXTRA LONG CHAPTER THO ;; GOSH I MISSED U GUYS!!! fun fact: i re-read comments to get motivation to write xd im sorry some of yall thought i was dead omg jsdkfdlgf i hope this was worth it lol im proud of the twists i managed to fit in here hohoho 
> 
> fun fact: originally, yes, yuto was going to be dating wooseok and hyunggu was gonna start dating them polyamorously but i fell in love with kiwon whoops but i swear this will be explained in the next chapter (i have no idea when that will come out but hopefully before the end of the year??) also i wont be able to update before pentagon's debut anniversary so HAPPY EARLY PENTAGON DEBUT ANNIVERSARY!!!
> 
> catch me outside ao3 on twitter as @nochilluniverse come hit me up if u read this im super friendly!! <3
> 
> leave a kudos/comment/bookmark if u enjoyed it~ (i really read and reply to every comment lol) HAVE A NICE DAY!! :D


	13. Chapter 13

“H-Hwitaek!” Hyunggu stammers, flicking on the lights and staring at me. I feel so shocked that I don’t respond. Shinwon snorts at my expression and Hyunggu twists around to give him a glare, shutting him up immediately. I manage to breathe again and grab the bags on the floor in case I broke anything. I brush past Hyunggu and plop the groceries on the counter. I can deal with that later.

I stand in the kitchen for a moment, hands steadying myself on the counter. I hear Hyunggu and Shinwon whispering hurriedly outside. I didn’t even know they were friends. I’m not that surprised about Shinwon being so promiscuous, but my brother? I think I’m still in shock, but the only way to find out what’s going on is to talk to them. I reluctantly move back outside, where Hyunggu and Shinwon stare at me, sitting next to each other on the couch.

“Hwitaek, take a seat, I guess.” Hyunggu scoots over and pats to his left on the couch. I sit down blankly and look at them. “Jesus, Hwitaek, are you okay?” Shinwon gives me a look of concern and Hyunggu turns to glare at him again. “Does it look like he’s okay?” He hisses, loud enough so that I hear.

“Uh, I think I’m fine, just really… Surprised.” I mumble, and Hyunggu turns red again. If I act weird about this, then Hyunggu would definitely freak out. “Yeah, Hyunggu didn’t expect you home early,” Shinwon adds unhelpfully, and I roll my eyes. Hyunggu scratches at his own neck shamefully. “Sorry hyung. Can you, uh-” Hyunggu stammer awkwardly while staring at the ground.

“Not tell anyone? Yeah. I think I can do that.” I finish his question for him, and he looks up at me, relieved. “Yeah. Thanks” Hyunggu smiles a little and Shinwon slips an arm around his waist, resting his head on Hyunggu’s shoulder. “Thanks.” Shinwon echoes Hyunggu’s words with a snarky grin.

“You two are gross.” I roll my eyes and get up from the couch. Shinwon laughs and stands up as well, stuffing his hands into his jean pockets. “Seriously though, thanks, Hwitaek,” Shinwon says quietly, looking down at the ground. 

“Yeah, you have a lot of explaining to do with Elkie.” I cross my arms, giving him a glare. Shinwon sighs deeply, eyes pointed at the ground. “I know.” He replies sheepishly and turns to look at Hyunggu. 

Hyunggu is rapidly tapping on his phone about something, too bothered to hear us. I observe Shinwon as he looks at Hyunggu. Something about his stare was different. When he looked at Elkie, he looked happy in a content way. But when he looked at Hyunggu, there was something in his eyes. A little sparkle that made his eyes shimmer. The corners of his mouth twitching up involuntarily. 

“Are you going to stay for dinner?” I cut the silence with a quick question. Shinwon turns back towards me and shakes his head. “Nah, I was just about to head home anyway.” He replies cheerily, though I could tell that was definitely a lie. “I’ll walk you out,” Hyunggu announces, and stands up, stuffing his phone into his pocket.

I take Hyunggu’s seat as Hyunggu walks over to Shinwon and drags him by the arm to the doorway where I can’t see them. They whisper for a moment before I hear a muffled noise from where they are and Shinwon shuts the door behind him. Hyunggu walks back over to me and sighs. 

“Okay, you can yell at me now.” Hyunggu puts his hands on his hips and watches me uneasily. Actually, I had no intention of yelling at him. “What are you talking about? I think you’re perfectly grown up enough to make your own decisions.” I respond, crossing my own arms. 

I can see the gears in his head turning and his face changes into confusion. I hesitate for a moment, picking my words carefully. “I mean, you can probably do better than Shinwon but if you’re happy, I don’t mind.” Hyunggu rolls his eyes in response to my comment but gives me a relieved smile. 

“I’m still trying to figure things out after,” Hyunggu swallows down his words, but I give him an understanding nod. He turns around awkwardly and disappears into his room. 

I relax on the couch. That was much more intense than I thought. I still don’t know how I feel about Hyunggu and Shinwon, but if they seemed to be happy together, who am I to judge them?

 

The rest of the week wasn’t too strange. Well, nothing is quite normal these days, but nothing has really happened except the occasional glance from Hyunggu and Shinwon randomly appearing around the house. I exchange words with Hyojong whenever I see him, but we both have too much on our minds to talk properly. Hongseok has been hanging out with his other friends lately, and although Jinho is much quieter now, I could tell he was still thinking about Hongseok’s outburst. I see him clinging to Yanan and Changgu more these days.

Every time I try to talk to Shinwon properly, he either avoids me or invents a random excuse to get away from me. He probably just needs more time to figure out what he wants, and I wouldn’t want to pressure him, but this is massively unfair to Elkie.

Especially now that Elkie is sitting in front of me and staring at her drink blankly. 

“Elkie, is this about Shinwon?” I ask tentatively, warming my hands on the hot cup of lemon tea in front of me. Elkie sighs a bit and the sides of her mouth twitch although her eyes still look sad.

“Yeah. I... don’t know what to do about him.” Elkie takes a small sip of her hot chocolate. She mentioned earlier while we were ordering that she couldn’t stand the taste of coffee that much. She had invited me to hang out after school at the coffee shop we went to with Shinwon a while back.

Elkie fidgets in place, shivering in her skirt and hugging her jacket closer. I could tell it was a bit uncomfortable for her to talk about. Especially when we weren’t that close. She herself seemed hesitant to ask, or maybe she’s just been shy lately.

“What do you mean you don’t know what to do about it?” I ask cautiously, grabbing my cup tightly. She looks around the floor before looking back at me.

“I don’t know... I know you’re pretty close to Shinwon these days, which is why I wanted to ask. Is he okay? He’s been distant from me.” Elkie mumbles. I shift in my seat. Honestly, Shinwon should be the one sitting here and talking to her. 

“Whenever I talk to him, he seems to be fine?” I reply uncertainly, and Elkie moves in her seat. She seemed jumpy today. Or maybe she had always been like that but I just didn’t notice. 

“I kind of want to break up with him,” Elkie announces, and meet my eyes with a wild look in her eyes. I widen my eyes. I didn’t know that Elkie wanted to split from him. I thought she was the content one in the relationship. 

“I know about his… cheating tendencies. It’s probably best if we split up before one of us gets hurt. I mean, I still like him but...” She looks away, brows weighing down on her eyes. “I don’t know how to bring it up with him though. He never meets with me anymore, and he never wants to talk when he’s with me.” Elkie sniffles and takes another sip from her cup. I hope she’s not close to tears.

I could understand why she feels so conflicted, but I can’t help them. I’m not in their relationship. “I’m sorry Elkie. I… don’t know what to do in this situation.” I respond wearily. Elkie looks up at me again and gives me a sad smile.

“It’s okay. I’m glad you’re willing to listen to some silly paranoid girl like me.” Elkie sighs, but I could tell it was still troubling her. “Hey, you know what? I’ll talk to Shinwon and tell him to sort himself out.” I give her a reassuring look, and the corner of her lips perk up just the slightest bit. 

It was the least I could do. That’s what I think to myself when Elkie gives me a hug outside the coffee shop as we leave. I watch her figure slip away into the distance and suddenly I’m hit with a pang of sadness. 

But what can I do?

 

Shinwon shows up at my shift on Saturday. I was chatting to Taeyong at the counter about a movie showing at the cinema when the doorbell rings and Shinwon appear in the doorway. Taeyong’s expression turns sour when he sees Shinwon and turns back to me.

“Can you take this?” He mutters in a strangely quiet tone, and I nod in response. He whisks away into the back, slamming the door. Considering that it’s Shinwon, I’m not that surprised. 

Shinwon slides over to the counter in front of me. I sigh and look over at him. “What is it?”

“I’m going to break up with Elkie.” He says decisively, looking at me for reassurance. I shrug in reply. “Okay.” He seems taken aback by my one-word reply.

“Well? That’s it? Don’t you have anything else to say?” Shinwon leans across the counter. I cross my arms firmly. “What do you want me to say? This is your personal problem, I have nothing to do with this.” I retort, going back to the cash register and recounting all the money in it. 

“I don’t know how to do it. I really like Hyunggu, you know. He’s not like anyone I’ve dated before.” Shinwon says quietly, and I pause, remembering how I saw him look at Hyunggu. Shinwon is so emotionally immature. I look up and look directly into Shinwon’s eyes. 

“You go up to her, and you tell her something like, “I’m sorry but I don’t want to continue whatever we have anymore,” then you leave her be and never talk to her again.” I stuff the bills in my hand back into the register angrily as Shinwon blinks at me. “Are you projecting-”

“If you’re not going to buy anything, then go away,” I say, without looking up. I sense him giving me a hesitant look before leaving. A small part of me finishes his question for him anyway. _Are you projecting Hyojong onto me?_

Taeyong comes back out as he hears the door shut. He sighs and holds the counter as if to steady himself. Does he have some sort of bad past with him?

“Taeyong? Are you okay?” I ask, concern filling up my eyes. “Hm? Yeah.” Taeyong replies as if trying to hide something by biting his lip. I glance around to make sure nobody is around. 

“Is it Shinwon?” I whisper, and he nods, rolling his eyes. “That guy gets on my nerves so much. I’ve heard about him from some of the girls and they never have anything good to say about him.” Taeyong grumbles, before looking away and grabbing a rag to scrub down the counter.

“Oh. I see.” I say hesitantly in response. I mean, I am his friend, but I know what he’s like. I can’t blame Taeyong for not liking him. I watch as he wipes down the counter. I wonder if Shinwon would do it.

 

I get a phone call from Elkie that night, her voice cracking in between sobs and sniffles. 

“I don’t know- I don’t know why he would...”

“Breathe, Elkie.”

“I- Yes. You’re right.” She breathes in and out a few times, her sobs reduced to sniffs.

“What happened, Elkie?”

“He came to my house. Then he- he broke up with me.” She pauses for a moment too long.

“I’m sorry, Elkie. Are you okay?” 

“Do you think he’ll take me back? Maybe if I-” I cut her off in the middle of her sentence.

“No. Elkie, don’t do anything you’ll regret.” 

“Right. Right. I don’t- know if I should be feeling this but- I feel...”

“Angry?”

“Relieved.” Her answer takes me by surprise, but at the same time, I feel relieved for her as well.

She tells me that she wants to stay friends with Shinwon. Frankly, I don’t see why, but that might be hypocritical when I’m friends with him myself. After I make sure she’s fine and she promises she won’t do anything stupid, I say goodnight to Elkie. 

I sigh deeply on the edge of my bed. I feel a weight being lifted off my shoulders. Elkie is one of my friends now, and I’m glad that Shinwon broke up with her. I’m one of his friends, sure, but two-timing is a pretty asshole thing to do. On one hand, I can see how much he likes Hyunggu, but on the other, he shouldn’t cheat on Elkie. I suppose now that they’ve broken up, he can date whom he chooses, but I still feel a bit guilty for helping him. Elkie deserves much better.

 

I hear whispers around the school, about how and why Elkie and Shinwon broke up. The wildest rumor I’ve heard was that he got one of Elkie’s friends pregnant. At least they got the “Shinwon cheated on Elkie” part right. That reminded me though, that perhaps she wasn’t dealing with it quite as well.

I run after Elkie and manage to find her during a break. She gives me a smile, excusing herself from her gaggle of friends. They give me once-overs but chatter amongst themselves as I talk to Elkie. 

“Hey, Elkie, are you okay?” I ask, giving her a concerned look. Her eyes seem normal from afar, but I can tell up close that it’s just a clever use of makeup. Her eyelids are a bit puffier than usual, but she gives me a strained smile.

“I’m doing alright. Honestly, you don’t have to keep worrying about me. I know you’re a great friend.” Elkie leans in closer and whispers. “He was probably going to cheat on me anyway, so I guess it’s better that it happened before he did.”

I stare at her. She didn’t know. That bastard Shinwon didn’t tell her about Hyunggu. I smile wearily and excuse myself. I’m going to hunt him down during lunch.

I sit down at the lunch table, across from Hyojong. He looks up at me as if expecting me to say something. I give him a quick smile then turn around to Jinho instead and greet him. He seems lonelier ever since Hongseok stopped sitting with us, although he insists that he’s fine. Despite what he says, dark circles have started to appear under his eyes. Shinwon grabs a seat next to Hyojong and that’s when I pounce. 

“Shinwon. Can I talk to you?” I ask, dragging him to the bathroom despite what he says. I feel the cafeteria’s chatter halt and hundreds of eyes looking at us. He follows reluctantly, rolling his eyes. Hyojong gives us a strange look, but I pretend not to see it. I pretend not to see him most of the time. 

“What are you pissed about now?” Shinwon groans, leaning against the wall. I give him a look. “Did you tell Elkie about Hyunggu?” I ask seriously, and as I had expected, Shinwon shakes his head, although he averts his eyes. 

“There’s no use in lying to you, is there?” He asks rhetorically, letting his words linger in the air. Shinwon takes a deep breath before turning back to me.

“Have you thought that maybe it’s better that she doesn’t know?” Shinwon says quietly. “She deserves to know the truth too.” I retorted, crossing my arms. He shakes his head and sighs. 

“I know her better than anyone, Hwitaek. She wouldn’t be able to handle-” I cut him off in the middle of his sentence. “Then you shouldn’t have cheated on her!” I raise my voice a bit, then look around the bathroom again to make sure nobody has come in.

“I know! I’m a jerk, I know. I didn’t mean to cheat on her, you know,” Shinwon begins, looking at the ground sheepishly. “It’s just… Different when I’m with Hyunggu. Whenever I try to fool around with Elkie, it just doesn’t work. I don’t have that kind of chemistry with her.” I listen silently as Shinwon glances over at me. 

“But just from the moment, I made eye contact with Hyunggu… We just click, you know.” Shinwon looks at the wall as if his mind was far away. “Elkie still deserves to know.”  
I’m glad that Shinwon can find love or whatever as a friend, but as Elkie’s friend…

“Fine. I’ll tell her, but she’s going to hate me.” Shinwon says, looking back up at me with an expression I can’t read and walks out of the bathroom. I sigh. Even if Elkie doesn’t want to know, or if she can’t take it, she deserves to know the truth.

 

“Hyunggu, can I talk to you?” I feel exhausted, but just one more thing to do before I head to bed. He looks up at me with concern. “Hwitaek?”

I take a seat next to him. He looks over to where our parents are sat at the dining table, either reading or looking at their phones. “Can we talk about it somewhere else?” Hyunggu asks nervously, and I nod. I follow him into his room, not before saying a quick goodnight to my parents. 

“What is it?” Hyunggu asks, looking a bit anxious. I sigh, taking a seat next to him on the edge of his bed. “Are you sure about… being with Shinwon?” I ask. There’s no point beating around the bush. Hyunggu doesn’t seem surprised as if he’s been thinking about it for a while as well.

“I- I don’t know,” Hyunggu mumbles, gathering his thoughts. “I’m trying to figure everything out, you know? I don’t know if he’s the right person, but...” He looks at me for confirmation. I nod for him to go on.

“I quite like him. I’m not just saying that because of Wooseok- well, maybe I am. Maybe I’m just using Shinwon to get over him but-” Hyunggu trips over his words, and I touch his shoulder lightly.

“I get it. You’re unsure about whether you really like him, right?” I ask softly. He nods, looking at the ground. “I just want to make sure that it’s what you want and that you’ve thought it out,” I say, letting silence fall around us. 

“Thanks,” Hyunggu says, his eyes darting away and cheeks heating up. I smile to myself. I know how much he means it, despite his tone of voice. I pat him on the shoulder again and leave his room. I hope he really thinks his decision though. I mean, I would support him either way, as long as he’s happy.

 

I’m about to sleep in my room when I get a text from Hyojong. We rarely text, so it must be important. I pick up my phone in the dark, squinting at the bright screen. It’s nearly midnight. 

 

Kim Hyojong  
11:57 pm  
hey you up?

I re-read the text. What does he mean? I look at it in confusion for a moment before typing a reply. 

Lee Hwitaek  
11:58 pm  
Are you okay??

Kim Hyojong  
11:58 pm  
yeah, are you?

Lee Hwitaek  
11:59 pm  
Yeah, why?

I can feel my cheeks heating up. What was this random text about my safety? I get up from the edge of my bed and hit the lights back on. Looks like this might go on for a while.

Kim Hyojong  
12:00 am  
you dont talk to me anymore. is something going on?

He’s straight to the point, isn’t he? I mean, I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about him lately. I push him away from my thoughts but he just won’t go away. I thought that day at the bar would make us closer, but I guess with Shinwon’s drama going on, I kinda forgot about Hyojong.

Kim Hyojong  
12:02 am  
dude, are you still there

Lee Hwitaek  
12:03 am  
Ah, yeah. I guess it’s just everything that’s been happening lately. Shinwon... 

Kim Hyojong  
12:03 am  
youre gonna have to fill me in on what happened. did shinwon try to fuck you up or anything?

Lee Hwitaek   
12:04 am  
No! No, he just talked to me about breaking up with Elkie and everything. They broke up a few days ago.

Kim Hyojong  
12:04 am  
who’s the lucky new fling?

I guess Hyojong already knows about Shinwon’s cheating tendencies. Then again, I suppose they’ve known each other for a while. Longer than I have, although it doesn’t feel that way. I’ve never thought about them being particularly close.

Lee Hwitaek  
12:05 am  
Hyunggu.

Kim Hyojong  
12:05 am  
oh, sorry dude i mean if shinwon tries anything ill beat the crap out of him

I laugh a bit at that.

Lee Hwitaek  
12:05 am  
I would too.

Kim Hyojong  
12:06 am  
i gotta go. is everything ok between us though?

Lee Hwitaek  
12:06 am  
Yeah. Stay safe, it’s late. 

Kim Hyojong  
12:07 am  
night

 

For some reason, his last text makes me smile like an idiot. I shut off my phone and flick the lights back off, trying not to think about it. It’s getting too late and I’m too tired after what happened today. I throw my phone on my table and crawl into bed. I sigh deeply. It’s been a long day, but I’m ready to sleep it off.

 

The next day, I’m lazing around at home after school when there’s a knock at the door. Hyunggu shouts at me from his room to open the door. I peer into the peephole to see an eye staring back at me. I nearly jump out of my skin but I open the door anyway. It’s someone I haven’t seen in a long time.

“Wooseok?” I whisper hurriedly, looking back to see if Hyunggu has come out of his room. He hasn’t. Wooseok looks at the ground sheepishly. “Hi, hyung.” I close the door quietly and let him into the living room. 

He looks around the room in a daze. It has been a while since he came over. I sit on the couch and he follows. “How is he?” Wooseok asks, his puppy eyes looking at me with concern. “He’s… A lot better.” I reply, fidgeting with my hands. It feels like such a long time ago, but it has only been a couple of weeks. 

“That’s really good to hear. Is he home?” Wooseok asks softly. I glance at the doorway leading to his room. I nod without a word. “I- I miss my best friend. That’s why I came over. Do you think he’ll-” Before Wooseok could finish his sentence, I hear footsteps coming down the hallway. I try to frantically find a hiding spot for Wooseok but I’m too slow. 

Hyunggu peeks into the living room and immediately stands there, frozen. Wooseok stands up, fidgeting with his own hands, unsure of what to say.

“Hey, Hyunggu.” He offers, looking between me and him worriedly. “Hello,” Hyunggu replies stiffly and looks at me with a mixture of confusion and anger in his eyes. I cough nervously as their eyes stare at me. I am not equipped to handle this situation.

“Oh, well, I’ll leave you two to talk. I can sure use a walk right now!” I say a bit too loudly and dash towards the door, running outside before they can say a word. That was the only way they’ll actually talk to each other. Besides, it’s too awkward for me to be there anyway.

 

I walk to Jinho’s house. I haven’t seen him in a while, and besides, he just lived nearby. I knock on the door, which he opens with a smile and a hug. I can’t remember the last time we hung out like this, just me showing up to his place without a word.

“Hey, Jinho!” I greet him as we walk into his room. He returns the greeting with a smile. It seemed genuine. He offers me a seat next to him in his grey covered bed. Jinho’s room is simplistic and the same as usual, with just black and white or grey. 

“Why’d you stop by out of nowhere?” Jinho asks, crossing his arms. His expression says that he’s a bit suspicious. “I just had to get out of the house and I wanted to talk to you, you know? I feel like we haven’t hung out properly in ages.” I explain, and set my hands on my lap as I sit crisscrossed.

“I see,” Jinho replies, looking at the ground with a downcast expression on his face. The last time I hung out with him was with Hongseok at his house. I guess nothing’s been the same since they broke up, or well, took a break. I mean, Hongseok was his best friend, so it must have hit him pretty bad.

“Jinho, are you okay? I know I’ve had a lot on my plate recently, but I’m here for you if you want to talk.” I start, placing a hand on his shoulder. He gives me a weak smile. “I know. I’m just trying to forget about it, but it just haunts me.” Jinho pauses as if there’s more he wants to say.

I give him a little squeeze of encouragement. He looks up into my eyes and swallows. “I wonder if he had ever really liked me, you know. It was really bad at first, where it was all I could think about. But it doesn’t consume me as much now. I’ve started talking to Yanan and Changgu more, and they kinda made me realize that he doesn’t matter.” Jinho starts a small ramble, but I listen patiently.

“There’s more to life than a boy, I guess. I kinda want to reconnect with some of my old friends. Remember that dorky soccer player I used to like? I’ve started talking to him again.” He gives me a soft smile. I return it, although I start to realize how much of his life I’ve missed. I feel really guilty about not being there for him after such a breakup now.

“Oh wow. I wish I spent more time with you then.” I say, smiling down at the ground. “Oh! I didn’t mean it that way! It’s not too late, dude.” Jinho quickly replies, grabbing me by the shoulders. 

“You’re my best friend, Hwitaek. I know I can count on you, and I’m just making new friends. I know you’re busy these days as well, so don’t worry about me. I’m still kinda getting over it, but I’ll be fine.” He looks at me with a focused expression. I can see in his eyes that he’s excited. Excited about the future, I guess. I smile back. It makes me genuinely happy that he’s doing so well. 

“Thanks. You know I’ll be there for you too, right?” I ask, and Jinho nods back in response. We spend the next while laughing about old memories and chatting about the future. I realize that it’s been nearly an hour since I got to his house. I have to go home and check on Hyunggu. I politely decline Jinho’s offer for dinner and head on home.

 

I arrive home to nothing out of the ordinary. Hyunggu is sitting on the couch, watching the television with a smile. Wooseok isn’t anywhere, and his shoes aren’t by the door. I chuck my shoes off and Hyunggu greets me brightly.

“Where’s Wooseok?” I ask, and Hyunggu seems undisturbed. “He went home a while ago.” He continues to flicker through the channels, not doing anything out of the ordinary. Hyunggu must be handling it quite well. I wonder what Wooseok said in their exchange.

“Then I’ll take it as the talk went well?” I say, a part of me wondering if I should have stayed and watched them instead. “Yeah. At first, it was a bit awkward, but we talked a bit about our new… relationships. I think I can be friends with him again, but maybe just- not as soon as he wants.” Hyunggu replies solemnly, before turning back to the animated cartoon on the TV.

“I’m happy for you,” I say, and Hyunggu rolls his eyes. “God, you’re so gross.” He gives me a shove and I relent, laughing as I walk back to my room. My eyes lay on the piano. Crap. I totally forgot about the piano competition. 

I sit at the piano, pulling out the music sheet I had already prepared. It was in two weeks, but I’ve been practicing for the past while. I know the song like the back of my hand. My fingers run up and down the familiar keys, letting the notes ring out. It was a beautiful song, and I still love it despite how often I’ve listened to and played it. 

Hyunggu tells me to shut up and eat dinner after I run through the song a few times. These days, I’m just glad to see Hyunggu happy again. He talks a bit during dinner, conversing with my father. I can tell that it puts a smile on my mother’s face to see them get along. 

 

After dinner, I get a call as I do my math homework. I don’t recognize the number on my phone, but it doesn’t appear to be a telemarketer. I pick up the call, something nagging me in the pit of my stomach. 

“Hello?” I ask hesitantly. 

There was only the sound of wind zipping through the air, muffling the mic on the phone. Was this some kind of prank call? I’m about to hang up when I hear a muffled sob. 

“Hello? Who is this?” I ask, my caring side taking over instinctively. The sobs get louder as the person gets closer to the phone. 

“Hwitaek-” A familiar voice cracks in the middle of calling my name, but I still recognize it. It’s Elkie, voice hidden behind loud wails. 

“Where are you? Are you okay?” I ask, standing up. It sounded like she was outdoors from the wind. Is she in danger?

She doesn’t reply, but she keeps sobbing. In the distance, I hear a honk. It sounds like she’s at the pier. Oh no. I hope she’s not going to do anything harsh. 

“I can’t do it anymore!” She suddenly screams, and I wince at the volume of her voice. My heart starts beating quickly. Something tells me that I need to go get her. 

“Elkie, hold on! I’m coming to get you!” I shout, hoping she can hear me. She breaks down into more wails and hangs up. I need to get to the pier quick, but I don’t know how to drive. There’s someone who might though. 

 

“Hyojong. Can you pick me up at my house right now? Elkie’s at the pier and she’s in danger. Please.” I beg, not caring that I might have woken up the whole household. 

“Hwitaek? Are you-” Hyojong stops mid-question, covering the mic to talk to someone. It sounded loud from his side. “Okay, I’ll be right there,” Hyojong says quickly before hanging up. 

I quickly change my clothes, grab a jacket and start sticking my feet into my shoes. I turn around to grab my wallet when I hear footsteps coming down the hall. Crap. 

Hyunggu appears from the darkness, looking at me with confusion. “Hyung?” He mumbles, still half asleep. 

“I- I have to do something. Cover me?” I plead with my eyes, but I don’t think he can tell with how dark the house is. He nods sleepily and shuffles back towards his room, just as I hear someone knock softly on the door.

I swing it open to see Hyojong with a black helmet in hand. He hands it to me wordlessly and we run to the motorcycle parked nearby. I stare at it as Hyojong fastens my helmet, an inch too close. 

“Hey, it’s fast okay! Someone taught me how to use this thing, I’ll get you back home in one piece.” Hyojong reassures me as he starts up the engine, putting my arms around his waist. I fluster as he does that, remembering a kdrama I saw that had a scene like that. 

We speed off before I can say another word. We reach the pier in no time, and I run over to where I see a figure sitting at the edge of the water. I turn to Hyojong as we approach her. 

“Call Shinwon and tell him to get his ass down here,” I mutter, and he complies as I walk up to the sobbing Elkie. I have to handle this very carefully. 

“Hey, Elkie,” I say, Elkie looking up at me as I approach her. She sniffs but tears don’t stop rolling down her face. I sit down next to her, patting her shoulder. Elkie doesn’t smile, but her breathing starts to slow down. 

“Do you feel better now that you’ve cried it out?” I rub her back carefully as she leans into me, nodding a little. I sit there with her for a few more moments before Elkie calms down enough to talk. 

“He- he told me he- cheated on me.” She says, tears welling up in her eyes. I can tell she’s trying not to cry again, and I give her shoulder a squeeze to comfort her. 

“It’s- not that big- of a deal. Except now I know how my mom- feels.” Elkie manages to choke out, before burying herself in my chest. I rub her back gently, trying to figure out why I’m still friends with Shinwon. 

Shinwon appears in the corner of my eye, but I ignore him for the moment, focusing on Elkie. I know I haven’t known her for that long, but a combination of how sweet she is and some parental instinct makes me want to protect her. Elkie slowly stops crying and I feel her breathing slow. I think she fell asleep on my lap. 

I glare over to Shinwon, who looks horrified. Hyojong appears next to me, giving Shinwon a nasty glare. “I- I didn’t mean for this to happen.” He whispers, dropping to his knees. He looks like he’s in disbelief and as much I try, I can’t bring myself to find sympathy for him at the moment. 

Hyojong snorts. “Well it did, asshole. Hwitaek, should I take her home?” I look down at my lap. She’s crying in her sleep. It seems best to get her home, but I don’t know where she lives. If only I did more to help. If only I had warned her about Shinwon...

“Shinwon, where does she live?” I demand, but quietly so I don’t disturb Elkie. He points to an area with small houses near the other side of the pier. That was conveniently close.

I lift her up bridal style, handing her over to Hyojong. Shinwon trails behind us miserably, guiding us to her house nearby. It wasn’t anything fancy or out of the ordinary. 

I fumble in her dress pocket for a key and the three of us stumble in. It must’ve been a strange sight, three teenage boys breaking into a girl’s house in the middle of the night with her sleeping body. Hyojong places her on the couch, and I pull a nearby blanket over her. It was still winter after all. Shinwon only stares at her silently, a strange expression on his face. 

We leave quickly before we wake her parents. That would be extremely hard to explain. Outside, I confront Shinwon again, this time with Hyojong by my side. It makes it easier for some reason, with someone by my side.

“Shinwon,” I say, sensing Hyojong’s bubbling anger next to me. I give him a look that tells him to stay still. Shinwon runs his hand through his hair, exhaling deeply.

“Fuck. What do you want me to say? I told her. You were the one who told me that she deserved to know and shit!” Shinwon exclaims, putting his face in his hands. Hyojong fidgets with his fingers as if he would pounce on him if he didn’t occupy his hands.

“Shinwon. You shouldn’t have cheated on her in the first place.” I tell him firmly. He looks up at me. “She never wanted to talk about her family. I knew she had some issues but since she never talked about it- I didn’t know it got that bad.” Shinwon starts to ramble, seemingly more to himself than to us. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’m just a selfish jerk. I- I- I can’t fucking control myself. I didn’t know what I wanted.” I can see the tears welling up in Shinwon’s eyes.

“How the hell are you going to fix this then?” Hyojong spits out, unable to resist. Shinwon stares at him blankly. “I don’t- I don’t know. I really don’t.” He groans, a tear rolling down his cheek. I can see how guilty he clearly feels and how he didn’t know what consequences his actions had. But then again, that doesn’t excuse him from doing those things of his own free will. 

“You make it up to Elkie. Do whatever she wants, whatever it takes. I won’t call myself your friend, not until then until she’s happy again.” I say, as calmly as I can. Hyojong nudges me. “Don’t you think that’s a bit too light of a punishment?” He asks, sneering at Shinwon. Shinwon looks down at his hands, and back up at me. I see a shimmer of thankfulness in his eyes, or maybe it’s how the moonlight is playing tricks on my eyes.

“I- I know. I’ll do anything. She’s my friend in the first place.” He says under his breath, determination in his voice. Shinwon stands up and looks at Hyojong and I. “I promise I won’t do the same with Hyunggu. I know I won’t.” 

“You better not,” Hyojong growls playfully, and Shinwon’s lips quiver. “I know you’ll kick my ass if I do, but I’ve seen Hyunggu when he was getting over Wooseok. I know how terrible he’d feel. But some part of me knows I’ll never do that to him. It’s different with Hyunggu,” He starts rambling again, but I listen. I’ve done a lot of listening lately. “It just feels right with him. It feels like there’s nowhere else I should be, just next to him.” 

Hyojong rolls his eyes, presumably hating his sappiness. But I can appreciate it. “I can tell,” I say, stifling a smile. Shinwon coughs and stares up at the sky. “I have a lot to think about. I’m gonna walk home.” He says that and leaves after wishing us goodnight.

 

Hyojong sits down on the grassy patch near the pier. The sky is completely clear tonight, and the ships have all docked for the night. I’m suddenly painfully aware that Hyojong and I are the only ones around on the pier in the middle of the night.

I sit down gently next to him. There’s no sound except some insects fussing around in the bushes and trees. And the sound of Hyojong’s breathing. And the sound of my heart pounding. I try and relax, letting my arms fall to the ground next to me. It was a bit cold, but I still feel so hot on the inside, the heat showing itself on my cheeks and the tips of my ears. 

Hyojong doesn’t say anything, but he gives me a peek. We make eye contact for a moment and I feel my heart pounding even quicker. I don’t even question why I’m feeling this way anymore. Everything feels so right with him. It feels like the world could fall apart around us and I’d just be content. If it was with him. 

“Hey, I was watching you with Elkie. You’re such a mushy soft guy, you know.” He says, grinning at me. I knew that grin. “I know. _Someone_ has to be your polar opposite.” I retort, looking down at the grass with a wistful smile. I wanted to say more, but I was content to sit there with him for just another moment. 

I know him more than I know myself. I don’t know why, but I feel like I’ve known him forever like he’s etched in my heart. Perhaps, if reincarnation is a thing, I’ve met him before in a past life. For some reason, the love song we played together comes to me again, coursing through my mind. It rises and falls like his chest, piano thundering in my head.

“Hwitaek?” My name rolls off his tongue and out of his mouth. The edge of his lips quirks up in a cat-like smirk. His eyes glitter as we hold eye contact. I haven’t said a word, but I can feel him reading my thoughts. 

I feel us being drawn closer together as the piano in my head reaches a crescendo before I could blink, his lips were on mine like a soft tap on a piano key.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI I AM SO OSRRYEKFNVGKENTILGREGVK  
> i love u guys so much u keep me going theres only one (1!!!!) more chapter + the epilogue left and i swear to god! it will take like 3-4 months tops!!! fuck well ill try  
> i changed the plot so much during this chapter nnnnn i made it a bit longer to compensate for not posting aaaa i love u guys!! stay safe during the holidays and i hope you have a great new years <333
> 
> rmb to leave a kudos or comment or even a bookmark aa!!! it really boosts my ego lmfao i love u!!!!!! :D
> 
> plugging myself:  
> twitter: @nochilluniverse
> 
> s/o to asu bb, shar <3 and sayaka bc its her birthday hohoho


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